Why is it easier to talk to complete strangers than it is to talk to somone you know?

‘Cause people online have no idea who you really are, and it won’t come back on you. Unless you have a prospective boss checking into you.

Online isn’t a face to face interaction. It’s not as intimidating.

One thing you BF is missing out on is that people here may be avatars, but many are hardly strangers and some are even friends you kind a get to know. Many though are strangers and they for me are not who I am speaking out to.

In an odd way the people here can actually have an affect on you too. Since becoming a jelly I have an urge to take up knitting, go sky diving, climb a tree, flip pancakes, shoot high powered rifles and throw a dog a bone! Nope a lot of familiar faces are here.

@Cruiser so what about the people who are strangers, like me?

@vampmoore You frighten me!! I am warning you I am armed with a wooden stake!!

I follow Rick Springfield’s advice and don’t talk to strangers.

But I have no problem typing to them, because it’s all anonymous and nobody knows who I am and will never know about the wacky, hedonistic lifestyle I don’t live.

@Cruiser lol ike i never heard that before

@vampmoore It’s still light outside too!

good, i need a tan

if i tell you what’d kill me, i’d have to kill you

@vampmoore Now I think you are making this up! Vampires don’t tan!! They melt in the sun like a Fudgecicle! I know because I saw it in a movie and it was real!!

Because the online community doesn’t usually wait for you at home at the end of the day to pick you apart if there are differences of opinion regarding a question. Also, a lot of people you’d like to ask something of aren’t receptive to talking about that thing.

example: A wife wants to know how come her husband has not shown attentiveness to their anniversaries each year and often forgets. She’s really upset each year she feels less and less appreciated. She could ask him, “why don’t you remember and make plans to celebrate our wedding anniversay, it would mean a lot to me. Doesn’t it mean anything to you?!” He’d feel like crap, go on the defensive and probably shut her out all together and she’d be miserable.

or

Wife asks complete strangers, “My husband doesn’t remember our wedding anniversaries. I feel like he doesn’t care about me as much or else he’d want to celebrate and in a way thank me and show me he still feels like it was worth it to be my exclusive life partner. Does this mean he doesn’t love me anymore?” Complete strangers in online community will probably offer her ideas and constructive examples of ways to bring the subject up to husband, she tries them and the couple has a lovely anniversary for the first time in years.

Hurrah complete strangers full of experiences, observations and different perspectives.

Tell your boyfriend he is wrong – we are not complete strangers – only at the beginning and then we become friends and build connections and bonds – people that send me presents, notes, hugs and support – people who know and love my family just from being friends on fluther…people often poo-pooh these sites because they don’t get why people spend so much time with ‘complete strangers’ – well that’s because we given them something positive.

I really wish I could answer, because the same happens to me, but I really don’t know. If I had to guess, it might be because people you know, are involved with or are a part of your life somehow have a deeper ’‘access’’ to what you’re like, how you think, respond and react since you got to know them, so sometimes, after realizing this, you feel more awkward or frightened to divulge things because in a way or another it penetrates deeper towards what really defines you. And that can be scary, I’m sure I don’t have to explain why.
The facade with a stranger may just be that, a facade, but it still owes its roots to your true inner self, which is why it’s easier to talk to strangers because they can’t quite get through but still may perceive a hint of what you are. Their reactions or whatever may not matter as much to you, so you can go all out, because in most cases, strangers aren’t people you have to make face to ever again if you don’t wanna.

That makes no fucking sense.

Anyways, even on Fluther I’ve got some problems expressing myself to those few I know a little more, or who know me a little more than the rest. So if I feel that online with people I really don’t know two shits about, I do know it real life too, yet I really can’t legitimately explain why.

I’m an extroverted people person…carrying on here, as well as in real life with ease. lol

However…I would never ask nor share anything of too personal a nature.

Why?

For one, my life and health and wisdom are in pretty damn good shape.

For two…I am waaay beyond relationship issues and, have learned enough in life to know that I already have any answers I really need in these areas or any areas involving my mental, emotional, or spiritual well being.

I have been participating here for about 4 months now and it’s a fun past time, have a handful of Flutherers that I consider wise, emotionally stable and genuine, from the consistant way they show up.

I also have a strong intuition about a few others that seem rather unstable, volitile and moody,....traits that I avoid whether in ‘real’ relationships or online babble.

AND…of course, what community would be complete without the one voyeuristic borderline perv. that makes occasional attempts to get me to share my sexual thoughts for their vicarious pleasures.

When they show up I hit the delta delete button pronto. lol

I DO, however, absolutely believe everyone touches everyone in different ways…face to face or online.

One just needs to be savvy and selective about what they choose to share.

Because there is every kind of distance here.

This is a community, regardless whether you’ve ever answered/asked/replied to a particular person. Everyone on here has the thing in common where we understand it’s a place to ask, answer, and/or otherwise, support, amuse, etc.

@Neizvestnaya GA, BTW!

And to answer the question at a basic level, I think it’s easier to talk to strangers because there is less risk and less investment. If you don’t like the answer, you can just ignore them, but you can’t ignore people you are close to (well, without possible repercussions, anyway).

I think it’s possible to get a more objective perspective from a stranger than someone you know because a stranger couldn’t use what they already know about you to affect what they say. Someone you know may “read into it” more, which may affect what they say and how they say it, with tone and intention getting in the way of their message.

It also might have something to do with just wanting a different perspective. You may already know what those close to you think about a given topic, but there are many people with many different thoughts, and some of them may be helpful!

@Neizvestnaya why cant the wife ask friends and family in real life who knows her and her husband better?

@vampmoore
She could but then why worry people who may think the marriage is swell. Why start possible gossip from those not very discreet or trustworthy. Personally, I’d feel extra humiliation to admit to close people my partner wasn’t treating me the way I’d like, I don’t think I’m alone in that.

@Neizvestnaya what are friends for?

@vampmoore
Here’s the thing about the people you love. You know they’re there for you when push comes to shove but sometimes there are things you don’t want to burden them with, things you’re not sure are as they are or whatever and if you can bounce a question or idea off a big group of people who gather pretty much for the purpose of wanting to share, troubleshoot and support then why start a fire so close to home?

Here’s an example:
There are times I’m insecure about something in my relationship, I pretty much know I’m unreasonable, biased, delusion, etc. I will try to keep my panicky stuff from the people who count on me to be consistent and in control. I will try to keep my panicky stuff from the people I know have greater issues going on themselves. I want to spend more of my time giving them my love than my gloom so I sneak it around elsewhere, work it out, maybe learn some new things and go on feeling better. No harm done.

I agree, no harm done.
but if I cant count on my friends to share the good and the bad with me, whats the point? I would prefer my friends and family to be there for me rather i have a small question about my relationship, or im in the middle of a real crisis. is that not reasonable?

@vampmoore
It’s reasonable but to each his own.

accepted