Some progress is better than no progress. What's your milestone? (part 8)
Welcome to the eighth installment of the Progress thread, which has been going steadily since February of 2009. From time to time we restart because a long thread is slow to load.
On Sunday of each week (if not oftener), some of us gather to announce our current goals, report progress toward our milestones, cheer each other on, and commiserate over setbacks. Newcomers are welcome. Each week begins with a marker like this:
=============== Sunday, July 4, 2010 ===============
See Part 7 for recent activity.
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351 Answers
Oh, look, a brand new thread. I get to Jewstian it.
Jewstian? Oh – I get it; “christen.”
Glad to have a new thread, the old one was beginning to load slowly.
I managed to get the dishes halfway washed before coming back to the computer.
I made it into the 30K mansion.
My doctor congratulated me for losing 12 pounds since my last visit.
I cooked up all the meat Hubby brought home because he found a great sale on beef. Now all I have left is the giant package of chicken he got ½ price.
I can now button or zip up my size 12 jeans and cargo pants.
I just finished a course in carborundum print making and about to start one in etching. My welding course begins in October. I am taking my pup to obedience and will soon start agility with her. I am playing tennis, squash, ping pong, swimming, running and bike riding with clubs, oh yeah, started Pilates too. Have been to several exhibition openings, movies, markets, the list goes on and on. I love living in civilization again!!!
I just finished refinishing a marble topped table/bath stand thing that I found in a 2nd hand store for ten bucks and am about to start building a table for on the front verandah. It is so cool because when I need something I don’t have, it is a 5 minute scooter ride to the hardware instead of a 2.5 hour drive in the car!
New business is going well, old dog is losing weight but still happy and eating and walking 2–3k a day, so it’s all good!
Well I’m not dead yet, that’s always good. At least for me. I don’t give a shit about the dismay anyone feels about it. :)
@rooeytoo Carborundum print making sounds very exotic. I wish I had a whiff of artistic talent.
I wrote something funny today that wasn’t on Fluther.
I learned how to make reversible shoulder bags. The one I did came out really great. I’m thinking about giving some to my grandma to give to her senior center and sell in the gift shop.
I turned in another assignment for my summer classes. Only 3 more to go for one of my classes and then 2 for the other class. I’m planning to get all 5 of these assignments done within the next 2 weeks. Hopefully I’ll be able to do it.
==============Sunday, July 4=====================
I’m going through something of a low patch in the personal growth department, but happy to be reconnecting with my family. Everyone is home this weekend, including my younger son’s girlfriend, and getting along great. We are making a barbecue today to introduce Jake to friends and relatives. I’m a little anxious about it but I’m sure it will be fine.
@janbb I’m sure it will go well, sorry you’re feeling a little low :-( this too shall pass xx Maybe you just need a bit of breathing space and rest and you’ll come back full of beans xxx Enjoy the BBQ x
I have decided to try to reconcile with my brother. The issues are far to complicated to go into here, but we have been estranged for perhaps 40 of his 55 years of age. I got his telephone number from my niece, and when it seems late enough Pacific Time for a Sunday. I am going to call. I hope the Lord sends me something to say.
Let us know how it goes. 40 years of estrangement is a long time. Say, “Hello, bro, this is P…”
Wait a beat and see what happens. I can’t imagine he won’t say something. Write a few things down ahead of time:...don’t refer to what happened when he was 15, keep to the present, suggest the possibilities for the future.
My sister and I were estranged for three years. I called her during the ten-day period between Rosh Hashanna and Yom Kippur. We met on neutral ground ( the local tennis courts in the rain. We let each other speak, we listened, we didn’t raise our voices; we met two more times. We then agreed to never refer to those particular issues again. And we never did.
I had the uterine biopsy done this past tuesday, results next week. Then a part of my back tooth fell out, NOT pleasant. Alexey got sick so we took him to he doctor and I couldn’t go to the dentist. Now, I’m sick and seems like Ark and Alex have mild fevers too. That would all be fine and dandy if we didn’t have a super fancy wedding to go to tonight AND we’re taking the children (Alexey’s the ringbearer). I just got my hair done (playing uber femme tonight) and now I have to sit with it for hours as it’s not time to go yet but my hair stylist couldn’t do it later. Anyway, I also registered for the GRE.
@dpworkin I sure hope things work out with your brother. Bless your heart for trying. Somehow, I thought that kind of estrangement happened in our family only! Some people in my family can’t even remember what the initial issue was about. Yet, they’re sticking to their guns “By God”. It’s unfortunate. I’ve grown apart, pretty much, from all of them because I don’t pick sides. I’m polite…speak when spoken to…it’s a terrible loss for everyone. Living 1400 miles from most of them helps.
The worst of the family crap is when someone gets their Snickers in a twist and refuses to tell anyone what’s up their skirt. They want to be left alone in their misery…to wait for company. Everyone is left to wonder ‘what’s wrong with so and so’. I feel it starts out as wanting attention, so I don’t bite.
I spent an hour on the telephone with my brother yesterday, was able to tell him what hurt my feelings, was able to apologize and receive an apology, was able to tell him that I love him, and want him in my life.
His most-often-repeated phrase: “I had no idea you felt that way. I can see why you did. I’m really sorry.”
@dpworkin I’m glad your conversation went well. I hope your relationship with your brother continues to progress.
@SeventhSense Those pictures are outstanding. Thank you for sharing. I often explore Flickr for photos like that. Very nice.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir Hope you’re feeling better! I’ll keep my fingers crossed about your biopsy results.
@SeventhSense Beautiful!
@dpworkin How wonderful! I’m proud of you for making that call.
I’m a bit under the weather (damn sinuses), but I did manage to get the next Fluther interview announcement up on the blog.
@dpworkin Your heart probably feels fifty pounds lighter. Imagine the weight you’ve lifted off his!
Big hug your way.
@SeventhSense Pretty pretty! Those look great!
@dpworkin I love it when conversations go like that. :) Wonderful for you both.
Thanks. It is a huge relief. My brother may be a jerk, but he is my brother the jerk, and I love him anyway.
@dpworkin That’s great, I’m really glad you decided to call him, and I bet you feel a lot better too. It must have been hard to call him after so long, but it’s good to have your brother back in your life. (:
I am setting up my art desk today after over a year of no painting. I am not very good at it but I do enjoy it when I do it. I am excited and nervous about recommencing.
@dpworkin that’s amazing!! so glad things went sparklingly for you xxx
@janbb you go girl!! can’t wait to see your work xx
I have got my essay result back (number 3) and it was 86% to another 1st grade to add to my other two..am so pleased!!! no pressure for the next one then!! xxx Thank you all for your support xxxx
I don’t know about art, @janbb, but I know what I like.
Thanks for the comps peeps.
I think this shot was my favorite artistically and aesthetically. .
@SeventhSense: I bet that Macy’s paid you to push that one. (Lovely pics, in any case.)
@dpworkin congratulations on this reconnect with your brother. I hope it evolves well for you both.
What was I talking about – no personal growth lately? This is the summer I am learning how to be an involved Bubby and MIL. I was just up helping to take care of Jake while my son was away for a few days at a conference. My daughter-in-law and I got along great. @dpworkin You would be proud of me; I STFU!
======================Sunday, July 11============================
A gut (guteh?) volk for me; hope it was for you. As I wrote above, I spent a few days with my DIL and Jake in their new home while my son was away. It was hot and hard but very rewarding in terms of bonding with Jake and getting closer with my DIL. They are renting a lovely little house on a country road and I can see myself spending time there a fair bit. It also broke the funky mood I’ve been in for some time. Nothing like hard work and feeling needed and appreciated.
In addition, I got my art desk set up again this week and completed a painting yesterday – the first I’ve done in over a year. Nothing to write home again, but if I say, “it’s not so bad” when I’m done with it, I’m happy. And yesterday, I started preparing my second book for the Fall.
I got a quarter of my final paper written yesterday. I have 3 assignments (a short paper, my final paper, and a powerpoint) to complete this upcoming week and then I’ll be finished with my classes and ready to graduate!
I’m back to applying for jobs. Gave myself a kick in the ass to get back to it! Still, so discouraging.
It’s summer, so I really haven’t been making too much progress. Lame excuse, I know.
But this week (and possibly other times) @augustlan is going to help me work on really cleaning my room instead of just arranging neat piles on my bedroom floor.
I just registered for the San Francisco half-marathon in two weeks. Yikes. Yikes. Yikes.
I just started going to a gym with my best friend this week, so I plan to keep up with that. Sort of a lackluster first post, but hopefully it will go places. :)
@Fly: Anyone (particularly a teenager) who uses “lackluster” is my friend for life. The fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree, it seems.
@nikipedia – that is fantastic. Let us know how you go. I am scheduled to do a half in October but I am so slow, I may have to take a tent and camp half way through, heheheh!
@rooeytoo: Thanks! I was registered for one in September but I wanted an excuse for a trip to SF ;) Good luck on yours!!! I want to hear all about it in October!
Wow, I haven’t been here in awhile. I’ve spent some time catching up and it is inspiring reading as usual.
We have decided to send the children to school part-time in the fall which means I can go full-time. I have to update some paperwork for this to happen and I am procrastinating excessively. It is my goal to report in to this thread next week with: Paperwork accomplished!
My top right wisdom tooth is growing out. I feel… the same :)
I haven’t heard anything from the gynecologist so the biopsy results must have been okay – I should call tomorrow just to make sure, though. A lot is going to happen in the next couple of weeks – Alexey is turning 4 on Wednesday and he’s having two b-day parties for which there is a lot of planning. We have another wedding coming up soon and then at the end of the month we’ll be in Illinois visiting Alex’s parents. I will devote weekends in August to getting my shit together for all the grad school applications.
I feel…in flux.
@everyone Way to go! I’d love to post specific congrats, but after being gone a month, it would take me two weeks just to catch up.
After a month of nearly-constant travel, we’re back at home for a week and then taking some children from church to New Orleans for a National Youth Gathering. I’m realizing that the summer is nearly over and I go back to work in less than a month – sigh. I really need to buckle down on prep for my two new classes in the next week or two, and I need to memorize lines for the two community theater shows.
However, progress continues to be made on the house front – the roof is fixed, and today we finished the carpeting. Now to repaint the doors (on which the previous occupants of the house had practiced doing manicures) and finish the work in the bedroom. I realize that home-ownership means the work is never done, but at least we’re on our way.
I’ve missed you all so much; it’s good to be back.
@janbb thanks. There was just never enough solid internet time.
I’m giving up meat. We’ll see how that goes :).
@chels Kudos to you! I’ve thought about becoming a vegetarian before but I just don’t have the willpower to give up bacon. ;)
@Fly Thanks :) ughguguhgugh I pretty much hate bacon 98.9% of the time. The hardest for me will be hamburgers and pepperoni ^_^
Update on a few of my goals: I’m on day #4 without a cigarette. Five days since reducing the antidepressant dosage by 20% and the “black dog” hasn’t returned. I’ve finally seen a counselor about my grief issues, I think she’s given me some useful tools to work with.
J is also getting help for issues arising from the abuse she suffered. I hope that I’m serving as a decent example for her of how a man should act towards a lady, she’s had very few positive experiences in that area.
@chels Congrats on the decision! I tried once, but I just can’t give up meat. Sadly, it’s far too delicious. D:
@mangeons Thank you love. Yeah it’ll be hard :) But I am pretty sure I can stick with it! That means more meat for you, my dear.
@chels Actually, it’s less hard than you imagine. I thought I’d never be able to give up sushi and chicken – nope, haven’t looked back once.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir I’m going the pescetarian route. I don’t think I could live without sushi. Meat however.. ::waves:: bye bye.
@chels Hey, whatever route is right for you.
@lynneblundell I am so pleased at your continuing great grades
@Simone_De_Beauvoir I am relieved that it seems the biopsy was negative
I hope preparation for the GRE doen’t stress you too much – I believe in you
@stranger_in_a_strange_land I hope you continue to feel fine on the reduced meds
I’m glad J is getting support from Dr. M – she will be stronger and more self-assured as time goes on
Good for you on your smoking elimination progress
@augustlan I really hope the job search bears fruit soon – you’d be a real asset to a potential employer
@nikipedia Training in the heat will be a real challenge – best of luck !
@janbb It is good to hear you give yourself credit on your painting and Yasher Ko-ach on your forthcoming book
I need to try not to be so house-bound (once I clean up a fair bit) in case my wife whose been gone three months is able to come home soon – It depends how soon her daughter the recent widow recovers from her knee injury
I have been like a hermit except for my consulting work for flutherites
I need to buy food – the pantry is pretty bare and the fridge is nearly empty
I just haven’t felt like going out.
Fluther has been 90% of my life lately. Better than no life at all but I’m really tired of being alone 24/7 .
Lots of Lurve to you all!
I finished my final paper this morning for my class! Oddly enough, I still have a small paper to finish, but it will be finished tonight. Then just to put together a powerpoint based on the final paper and I’m done all my work for my BSN (except for the actual presentation which isn’t until August 12th)!!!!
@chels Yes! More meat for me. :D
Here. You can have all my vegetables <3
I have never participated in one of these threads before, but after reading through and being inspired, I’m jumping in.
I am in the throes of an incredibly stressful custody negotiation (read: battle), with an ex who seems to become more and more unraveled by the minute. With the help of God, support of a great guy, and the resolve to do what is best for my boys no matter what, I am managing to keep the stress at def-con 3 and not lose my mind completely.
Oh – @SuperMouse, I am sorry to hear that. Hold it together; this is a great thread for getting support.
My gynecologist’s office called – the biopsy confirmed low-grade displasia and my doctor believes it’s important to do the LEEP Procedure this coming Saturday (when, in the morning, we’ll be having a big birthday party for Alexey) and so I’m a bit worried because it still might be cervical cancer and they did say I have HPV.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir Sorry about the bad news from your doctor. I hope the Leep goes well and that you get some good news after that.
@janbb @Seaofclouds These are the times when I wish I didn’t work in cancer – all I’m imagining is sitting here and getting chemo or something.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir I know it’s hard not to think about it, but I hope you can find a way to push it out of your mind for a few days and focus on other things (like the birthday party).
@Seaofclouds Well, today is his actual b-day and there is a party in the evening (for some members of his bio dad’s family and friends of my aunt and stuff) so that’ll be nice but I think it’ll still be in the back of my head until I get the results after the LEEP.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir Have fun at the party this evening. Hopefully you’ll get the results back quickly and they’ll be good!
@Simone_De_Beauvoir – I am the world’s worst coward but when I had the “scare” a year ago, I managed to mentally cope and I know you will too. It’s never easy but we always do what we have to do. And remember you have the positive energy of most all flutherers directed right atcha!!!
@Simone_De_Beauvoir lots of love and support are coming your way! FYI, my sister had that procedure done for the same reason you are. She was uncomfortable for a while, but she did not end up having cervical cancer (it was a worry with her situation as well), and she has not had any issues since – this was over 17 years ago. I hope a little info on someone who had it turn out ok will help offset the thoughts in your head right now. <<HUGS>>
@ Everyone – thanks, the party distracted me for a bit…Alexey had a pre-school b-day party earlier in the day – here he is (in the center on the floor) with some of his classmates…here they are celebrating his b-day (we provide all you see on tables)...here he is with the love of his life…later on, we had a family party for him and this is the cake he gets every year…and here he is with Alex, at the end of the night, after many fun times.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir: I never cease to marvel at how beautiful your eldest is. He is going to be a heart breaker when he grows up. ;)
@KatawaGrey Don’t you worry, Ark will give him a run for his money
@Simone_De_Beauvoir: Ark’s got the cute thing down pat. I wanna scoop him up and blow raspberries on his tummy.
Thinking good thoughts on your behalf!
========================Sunday, July 18===========================
It’s a quarter to 10 and I’m still the first one posting. Lazy slug-a-beds!
Not much to report progress-wise. I’ve had a fairly indolent summer week in this heat; lots of walking on the boardwalk in the evenings, some ice-cream, lots of Fluthering, reading…... Emotionally somewhat all over the map, but I’m holding steady.
Alexey had his second b-day party yesterday and the clown was there and many kids and fun was had by all, a lot. Later on yesterday, I was put under and had my LEEP procedure…I rested a bit after, took pain meds and decided against tango. This morning, I still feel very tired and need to start my antibiotics (that’s following the procedure). Happy Fluthering, everyone!
My week has been fairly uneventful, so not much progress to report.
My friend and I are still going to the gym but have had no real results yet.
I finally started my summer assignment for AP chemistry, only to find that the book I chose is one of the worst-written books I have ever read. It’s more like a textbook than a novel. I’m not really sure how I’m going to get through it, but I suppose I’ll figure it out eventually. While the reading is terrible, the problem set is coming along well.
I also bought curtain rings this week for the curtains that I’ve been putting off for about 5 years but finally got for my birthday. Hopefully I will get those hung sometime this week.
I went to the doctor this past Thursday, and had to get several shots (I was not happy about this.) but everything went well.
I also went back to the eye doctor that day about my contacts and I got a different kind of contacts to try and they’re working very well so far.
I finished the last of my school work this week. All that is left is a presentation of my work in August, then graduation! Tomorrow I leave for my vacation. My house is clean and all I have left to do is pack.
Nothing much happened this week. The family went camping this weekend (I stayed home) so I’ve just been relaxing.. It was really nice.
THIS week however will be super busy. I have a ton of laundry to do, a bit of shopping to do, packing, and a few other things. A week from tomorrow I’ll be on my way to England, and in 10 days I’ll be turning 21. Exciiiiiited!
@janbb Thanks, I hope the rest of your summer goes well.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir I hope you feel better soon. Did they say how long it will take to get the results?
@Fly I hope you start seeing results from going to the gym soon. Good luck on your summer assignment.
@mangeons I’m glad you got some contacts that are working for you. Did they say why the other ones were causing problems?
@chels Have a great week!
@Seaofclouds No, they didn’t – the doc assumed it’s not cancer, said to come see him in a month and that’s all. But, it’s a possibility.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir Ohh, so the no news is good news? That drives me crazy. I hope things turn out well for you.
This may sound trivial, but it’s making a big difference to me: my house is neat and clean, and I have been improving on it by reorganizing closets and cupboards, etc. Feels a lot better.
@dpworkin: Remember the recycling center in Hudson and keep it holy. Every object we own has to be dusted, repaired or replaced, I find.
My rule is, bring one thing in, carry two things out.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir I hope you can call at some point and find out the results even if they don’t call you. Sitting around and waiting for a month on a doctor’s assumption would make me crazy.
@dpworkin So you’ve lost the “protective coating”? Watch out!
I am learning to hold my tongue about silly little things that aren’t worth mentioning when with my boyfriend. This is pretty big since I can be kinda nitpicky which can make us both grumpy.
To all my fellow jellies: Keep up the good work! I really enjoy reading your accomplishments and goals. :)
I finished my tedious chore: Paperwork accomplished! I will be dropping it off tomorrow.
Over the past year I have slowly been fighting back against the isolation and depression that had been squeezing on my life. Going back to school has been part of this. For the past month, I have been getting my nutritional life back in balance and today I start engaging with body fitness again! My sister has volunteered to be my daily cheerleader and I adore her for this.
I am working on forgiving myself for gaining 60 extra pounds and the concrete step of getting physically active again is healing. It is also a bit scary. I don’t approach re-claiming my physical health as a “losing weight” project. I start getting dysfunctionally tied up in body image and shame toxicity when I frame it such a way. This is a vulnerable thing for me to acknowledge, but I know it will help me break free from some of the hiding I do. I am thankful for family and friends who support me.
So…Dear Flutherites…World…here I come. <awkwardly stepping out onto the road>
@liminal trying to figure out where you have 60 extra pounds Anywho, I am with you, I support you, you’re awesome, we all know this – goooo LIMINAL!
@liminal Good for you – that is exactly the way to frame it. Keep us in the loop.
We’re behind you all the way, @liminal!
I finally got my interview questions for mattbrowne together, and have sent them on to him. Should have his answers back within a few days, and his interview up on the blog within a week or so.
I’d been bogged down with my course prep for the second novel; too distracted by the computer to work for very long. Had an inspired idea and went off to the lcoal library for a few hours this afternoon to work in their quiet study area. Sat in a “nice room with a view” and got almost half the book prepped! I feel so much better about coming back to Fluther now. And it was good to sit in a library again. I will probably do the same thing tomorrow.
I found my bathing suit bottoms this morning. I got a call from the bank and things are moving right along in my effort to negotiate with them. Best of all the custody battle took a huge turn in my (and my boys) favor.
@janbb: Which two novels are you going to be teaching? (I am struggling with the second half of Edgar Sawtelle…a brilliant conceit but an infuriating novel.)
@gailcalled Loved Sawtelle until the ending.
Fall class is Novels of New York. The three I am teachig are: House of Mirth, Bright Lights, Big City and Time and Again by Jack Finney. I will probably throw in an O. Henry story too.
He wrote New York stories? This is a theme I return to frequently (think I told you) so I am always on the lookout for material.
@SuperMouse I’m glad the custody battle is looking good for you and your boys, and I hope it continues along those lines.
Update: My dad helped me hang my curtains today. Now if I could only get into that book…
@janbb : Woody Allen wrote one hilarious short story about Mme. Bovary showing up at the Plaza. It’s funny and subtle at the same time; The Kugelmass Episode.
Edith Warton may have written about NYC society but she lived for years in a spectacular house and grounds in Lenox. I saw A Midsummer Night’s Dream performed outside in her woods.
Henry James; Washington Square
Yes, I know The Kugelmass Episode – hilarious. And Edith Wharton was raised in repressive NYC although she lived (repressed) in Lenox until she moved to France and away from her husband. Washington Square I find a little dull.
I didn’t say that James was interesting. At least that novel is a short one.
@gailcalled – Edgar Sawtelle was a strange one in my opinion. I was very engaged in the first part but hated the back end of the novel. Let me know what you think when you finish.
I don’t know where else to put it but I’m really sad that Ubersiren is gone from Fluther!
Crazy things have been happening – funding fell through for a performance tour in Brazil; and not only that, because Brazil was so late in getting back to me, I also missed an opportunity to perform in Malaysia. So in short I asked for a month’s leave off work (at high season too) and now have a month…
.. so I’ve decided to go to Nepal for the month. It will be my first time in 3 years that I’ve had a proper holiday—usually when I take time off teaching it is to do theatre, which means that I never really get a extended time off.
Been teaching like mad for the past 2 weeks (need $$ for trip!), so I feel a bit distant from the Crow piece, and from my writing. Hopefully will pick up some of that – definitely the writing—but I’m looking forward to actually just some time to myself, doing not too much. In short, a real holiday.
Wow,why is @ubersiren gone? She will be missed.
As for me, my Dr is worried about renal insufficiency. I need to get some imaging and other tests done. What a relief to finally have health insurance.
I’m really upset about the ubersiren business too; I sent her a pm but didn’t get a response; believe it was before she deleted her account.
@dpworkin PM’d you about ubersiren. Good that it is getting checked out; hoping for positvive results.
@liminal
That’s stellar. Just eat well and attend to your health and a couple pounds here and there a week and one can be optimal with just a simple disciplined refocus. I’ve lost nearly 50 pounds now in the last 3–4 months(down to about 200–205lbs) and it’s been easy with just acquiring healthy new habits. And if you saw me before I did not look like I had 50 extra pounds on me. But I feel good, I can see my ab muscles and I like to be naked. That’s what it’s about for me.
I would just like to say that I think listing our goals and progress here is an excellent idea. Personally, it provides a certain degree of accountability for me even though I do not post very often that lights a fire under my ass and gets me going!
@KatawaGrey: Word. I feel kind of guilty that I haven’t been productive enough to post anything here lately.
It doesn’t look like I am working out my problem with the mods, nor do they seem to be working out theirs with me, so I may be leaving tonight. I wanted to say goodbye here. All is not quite done, but things look grim right now.
@dpworkin This mod hopes it doesn’t come to that. I’d sincerely miss you.
I finally watched every episode of the x files..
Here’s the latest exchange, just so it’s not a big mystery if I leave:
Hi there, dpw.
As you could probably guess, your account is one of our most frequently flagged for personal attacks. This has been a conundrum for us because when you’re in top form, you’re a big asset to this community. We know you’ve been trying to do a better job about keeping your temper under control, but we’re still having to remove things written by you almost daily.
After much deliberation, we’ve decided that we can’t allow you to continue on in this manner. It’s just not conducive to the atmosphere we’d like to have here. Please, get it under control. Further violations will result in your account being terminated. We sincerely hope you’ll be able to find a way to remain a part of Fluther.
Augustlan
Community Manager
I will cool off for a couple of days and then decide. Right now I feel
that if all y’all have decided I’m that problematic, and that my
contributions don’t make up for it sufficiently for you to want me on
the site, that it’s best that I leave.
Response moderated (Personal Attack)
@dpworkin: I have noticed, in the past few days that your behavior has been mercurial. Several brilliant answers followed by an unnecessarily nasty one, and I have wondered what is the causation. Given your new career choice, might you want to work on impulse control? Therapist, heal thyself.
I do want to point out that what I hope people learn from this is that you can’t simply believe that one’s good answers will sufficiently make up for the nasty ones.
I had my LEEP procedure done last saturday and now I’m on antibiotics (supposed to be on them) – I’ve had cramping for a couple of days and bleeding (normal)...now there is a terrible smell from down there which is also normal because of all the stuff that’s supposed to come out by next week (good times) – it makes me uncomfortable and I called the doc about it and he just wanted me to go on another additional antibiotic and I said ‘no’ firmly and resolutely because I am so done with doctors over prescribing shit to me for no good reason…if there is nothing wrong with me and you’re only prescribing antibiotics for the smell, what the hell is wrong with medicine?!
@gailcalled I quite agree, which is why I have decided to leave. I brought myself to this place without assistance. I will miss many of you, but this is no great tragedy. I posted what was happening in this thread just to forestall the inevitable rumors – I think it’s better if my leaving is transparent, and that it is known that it was wholly my choice.
Edit: Just to be clear, I am leaving on good terms with the founders and staff, and I have no complaints about moderation save for one post which was restored yesterday.
@janbb I loved Bright Lights, Big City. Younger people, similar world . . .
I had no idea this thread was here.
This week I came closer to solidifying a new relationship with someone my age, my maturity, and my locality… three things that have never happened all at the same time. This signifies my move away from the heartbreak, misery, and bad decisions I’ve made over the past year. I am happy and cheery for the first time in my entire life. I am not angry constantly, and I’m nice to damn near everyone, even strangers, and that’s also never happened in my life.
@poofandmook This has become one of my favorite places on Fluther. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have.
@dpworkin FWIW, I am not always comfortable with the line you walk, but I believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
This is a fun thread.
I am trying to get out of the house more. I am very much a recluse and I often don’t leave the house for days. Last night the wife and I saw Inception. Later we are supposed to go to the Santa Monica Pier. Maybe. Two days in a row might be a little much.
How about just walking around the neighborhood in the cool of the evening? You might even see someone to nod to.
@poofandmook: That’s wonderful to hear! You certainly deserve to be as happy as you can be. :)
@tinyfaery: I’m a lot like you that way. Many times when I’ve made plans with someone, the day of the outing, I feel anxious enough to find an excuse to get out of it. I don’t generally make a practice of lying, but getting out of having to leave my house, in my mind, is more important than the little white lie. Like you said to me about my roommate’s birthday party in another thread… I’ll get out if you do!
@poofandmook I did go. I stayed about 3 hours. Intoxication helped.
@tinyfaery: Yes, that definitely does help the agoraphobia hide for a little while. Good for you!
I was just modded because I made a suggestion to @dpworkin regarding his behavior and I used a descriptive which I thought was appropriate but apparently was deemed a personal attack although it truly was not meant as one. It was merely a suggestion. Interesting, one can say fuck with impunity but prick is not allowed.
I think that is funny, I have seen many more personal and damning comments pass on numerous occasions. Oh well, such is life.
@rooeytoo I understand your comment but in this thread (and it’s the only thread, which is why we cherish it so), we don’t get into these kinds of conversations, the back and forths, etc. this is the thread where all of us take our gloves off and want to feel safe – in this thread, we’re a lot more personal, a lot more vulnerable and try to stay away from the rest of fluther’s reality as much as we can.
Whose face are you calling old? :)
Boy, these old furry faces are awfully touchy!
@augustlan and I started on my room yesterday, and we got a big chunk of work done. There’s a lot more to go though, including my closet and massive collection of stuffed animals.
Reading some of these posts I got inspired and I thought maybe I could offer some insight from my own experience.
I’ve been known to get way too involved in a thought, an opinion, idea or fact at times and like a dog with a bone I gnaw at it and can be stubborn in relinquishing my grip on it. Hell I’ll even bury it in the yard and dig it up a year later and continue to chew. Yet I’m always reminded of the “blue sky mind” zen ideal. It goes something like this:
Our consciousness is as vast and immeasurable as the sky. In any activity whether it be pleasant, painful, active or passive, thoughts, opinions, ideas or facts can arise. These thoughts drift through our consciousness like clouds. We can follow these thoughts or just allow them their course. Likewise we can attach to them and refuse to relinquish them. The more one attaches emotionally to a thought, idea, opinion, fact, the more one has a tendency to imagine that one is that idea, opinion, fact or thought. And at this point we are confused. This is simply an imagination. An imagination which can be like a dream or a nightmare. We are obscured from seeing our true nature which is as limitless as the sky and are clouded by attachment. To exist in our fundamental state of openness and immeasurable potential can seem frightening from this perspective but the security of the attachment ultimately becomes torment.
So when I am clouded and despondent, if I’m lucky, I remember that although I have opinions, ideas and thoughts, I am not opinions, ideas and thoughts. You can be on top and I’ll be on the bottom. You can be right and I’ll be wrong. They are one and the same anyway. And once again I can “sing and dance naked in the rain” as my teacher, a wise old Buddha from Brooklyn used to say.
Don’t worry, I’m not a prima donna and I am not nasty only opinionated. So I rarely get modded. I’m not upset actually it’s kind of exciting, like living on the edge or something, heheh.
I needed a new project so I made this out of scraps of lumber that was lying about here. It is for the front porch. It is long and narrow because the porch is narrow and it had to be long enough so that my mate could spread out his paper at one end and I could spread mine at the other end and still have room to put our bowl of cereal there as well. here is a pic.
@rooeytoo
That’s some handsome furniture. Sweet.
I’m really sad that @dpworkin is choosing to leave, but I understand completely.
I’m getting some things in order that will help me a lot, financially. Checking out Rx programs that will allow me to get some of my medication at a discount and/or completely free. Looking into the high risk pool for health insurance in my state.
@augustlan Good on the medical/financial front.
I’m really sad that pd has now left too but I understand his reasons.
I’ll be off Fluther for a while. The surgery did not go well. Since waking from the anesthesia three days ago my brain is fuzzy and attention span nil. I can’t follow a discussion thread much less write a coherent answer. Docs are trying to figure out what happened, J is barely functioning also.
@stranger_in_a_strange_land: Good luck to you! A little thought to cheer you up in recovery: I was just thinking how inappropriate your username is now as you are no longer a stranger here at fluther. In fact, don’t be a stranger! snigger snigger.
I am sitting at the card table in my “dining room” I don’t really have a dining room, just a space between the kitchen and the living room and I have decided to make this a little office of sorts. I have set up my computer and I will try to do some writing here whenever I can. In fact, I have sat down to do some writing right now! Here’s hoping my plan works. :)
@mangeons @KatawaGrey @nikipedia @janbb I’m hanging around, but likely won’t be online as much. My mind has started to clear 3+ days after coming out of the anesthesia (the docs are still trying to figure out what happened). My arm looks like a partial Borg assimilation, metal braces and electrical wires. Another pin and two metal plates adding to my internal hardware collection (I set off airport metal detectors already with my shoulder and knee).
@KatawaGrey Maybe I should ask Bendrewim to change it to Michael Valentine Smith? Heinlein tribute intact~.
@stranger_in_a_strange_land what happened?? sorry I’ve not been around…
Finished my fourth essay last night out of six, I think it’s the best I’ve written yet and I hope to get the best mark I’ve had too..I’ve worked really really hard on it…and considering I only got back from my holiday in the early hours of Monday morning I think I deserve a pat on the back!
I’ve also managed to get back on my diet after four days of binge eating and making myself feel poorly…self-destructive behaviour be gone!
I’m sad that dp has left… I never had any run ins with him at all so I don’t know what the problems were…I just know it’s always sad when someone so treasured leaves the Fluther xxx
I am not beating myself up about sailing around in circles right now. It may nor be progress but it doesn’t hurt.
I just finished at 14-hr.+ editing project. I had started it late because of bad family of origin news, but I stayed up until 3 A.M. and got it done!
Good for you!
I still haven’t left the house. Not since Tuesday. I will today, though. I swear. Beautiful Santa Monica/Venice beach, here I come.
I really happy. Like. Really.
Tomorrow I’m going shopping with my mom.
Monday I leave.
Tuesday morning I arrive in England. Then we go to London.
Wednesday I turn 21.
I have nooooo patience right now. I’M TOO EXCITED.
@chels Happy early birthday! <3
My room has made a TON of progress, we bagged up a lot of my stuffed animals to store away, and my room is looking extremely good. It still needs work, of course, but it’s definitely presentable now. :)
I’m sad to not be dancing tango second week in a row but the only good milonga today costs $35 and it’s not worth it. I’ll be missing Saturday tango next week as well as we’re all going to IL to visit Alex’s parents for a couple of days. I am planning to go back to yoga this week after a week and a half long hiatus and hoping that it won’t do anything to my post-leep healing body. Tonight, Alex and I are going to go to the tattoo place and he’ll get his seahorse tattooed. So, that’s exciting. Otherwise, I’ve gained 2 lbs (considering the stress, the bad food to deal with it, lack of exersize and all the birthday parties w/ice cream cakes, I think this isn’t bad) and feel kind of stiff all over – perhaps emotionally, as well. The future remains uncertain, we remain living here with my relatives and something better come up, in terms of a job for Alex. Just saying.
I did it! We walked from Santa Monica to Venice, ate lunch at a little cafe, walked back to Santa Monica, got a shaved ice, and now I’m home again. Phew. I’m tired.
@tinyfaery Congratulations on getting out of the house! Good job!
Hubby’s officially off probation for the DUI that should never have been. One year of stress over. It’ll be a few more weeks until he gets his license back – $300 in DMV fees and a few more AA meetings. Then he can be the designated driver for once. Woo hoo!
We are indeed going to lose our house, though. It’s bittersweet. We wanted to be closer to the city anyway, but not on these terms, you know? And it’s about ridiculous trying to find a place to rent that we can afford, that will also let us have a big dog. It’s insane. He’s not even an aggressive breed – one of the laziest bulldog puppies you’ll ever meet in your life.
So… within the month, hopefully finding a place to rent, then getting Hubby his license back. He’s already got a brand new shiny work van waiting for him at the company.
Update on my condition. My mental state has improved, but I’m physically quite weak. I’m really proud of J; she initially broke down, but quickly got herself together and has been magnificent. This situation may be a blessing in disguise. The crisis that J went through a month ago convinced her that she could trust me absolutely, this latest has shown me that I can rely on her.
Academically, I can let things slide. The grade on the paper, which I completed prior to the surgery, is the grade for the course. I’m going to try to attend class on Tuesday. The intellect must be recovering, since I was able to explain a trigonometry problem, en Francaise, well enough that J could demonstrate that she understood the concepts.
The farm is in good hands with Gen. We’ve hired temporary help to deal with the row crop cultivation and simpler maintenance activities. The third greenhouse is now finished. The second sugar house, new smokehouse and permanent sap pipeline will wait until next year.
Gen and Karen’s new house will be livable by fall (the builders got enough rain-free days to get the roof panels on and sheathed, the slate roof guru has the project penciled in for third week of September). My neighbor sent us a nice care package; a basket of wildflowers with a 10 pound maple-cured smoked ham in the center.
Sunday, July 25
At a state forest for a few days with family members. Have been coming here all my life. It’s very poignant and meaningful cabins were built by the CCC
@stranger_in_a_strange_land : I am happy that not only are you on the mend, but the people around you are coping and being helpful. Also wonderful that you can find temporary help.
I grew up in a house with a slate roof. I didn’t know that you can still install them.
Old joke: What’s the definition of “eternity”?
Two people and a ham.
@gailcalled There’s a fellow in VT that does it, slate from the Catskills and copper flashing. Our family “hometead” house has had only 3 slates replaced in 200 years. Good investment.
@stranger in a strange land” We talk about replacing the horrible asbestos shingles with tin, copper or slate, but it is very expensive.
One of my nephews, who is a designer and photographer by trade, is just finishing building a small second home up here. He put on a champagne-colored metal roof, which looks beautiful with the cedar shingling and all the evergreens.
My friend and I have continued to go to the gym and have started to notice some results, which is keeping me motivated. Hopefully we will be able to keep up with it, but she is on vacation this week so I won’t be able to go until she returns (she brings me as a guest so I don’t have to pay for a membership).
Today is my dad’s birthday so my sisters, my dad’s fiancee, one of her daughters, and I are making him a delicious dinner of salad with homemade vinaigrette and croutons, corn on the cob, homemade garlic bread, ribs, and carrot cake with homemade cream cheese icing.
The first part of my summer assignment for AP chemistry is due on the 30th, so my goal for this week is to finish that and get it to the school ASAP.
My dad also talked to the manager of our neighborhood pool today and found out that they’re hiring because a lot of the kids are going to college before the end of the season. The good news is that the chances of getting a job there are high, and I can just walk there so I won’t have to worry about transportation. They also said that they could accommodate essentially any schedule, which is helpful because I will be gone for a week and every other weekend. The bad news is that I would have to work 7–9 out in the sun, which will be tiring and I will most likely burn to a crisp (I am essentially as white as it gets and need SPF 70+). But since my lack of activity this summer has really been getting me down, I think I will go for it. Wish me luck!
@Fly Maybe you won’t burn. Our pool’s lifeguards sit under umbrellas.
@Fly Good luck with the job and the studies! Also good that you can find SPF 70+; the local stores here only carry up to 50 and we have to order the 70+. Remember to re-apply it if you get wet or perspire heavily.
@Fly: Also wear a hat and a light-weight long-sleeved shirt that you can shuck at a moment’s notice. It takes only one bad sunburn for someone with very fair skin to have many dermatology trips in your future, which I know seems a long way a way.
All life guard stations should have umbrellas. Even those with the most tannable skin.
I am now paying the price for thinking I could tan as a teenager, only to repeatedly freckle, burn and peel.
I thought I was well on my way to being with someone I care for again, but I don’t really know what’s been going on.
We email back and forth all day while we’re at work, and Thursday he had a lot of call-outs so we didn’t really talk. Friday I heard nothing all day. Saturday I got one text saying something about he’s been leaving his phone at home, I replied with something saying that I was sorry for bugging him, and I got a response that said “no bug, just family stuff.” I sent about 2–3 over several hours just saying I was thinking about him and my typical “good night” text. Then yesterday, sent one in the morning. Last night I had a big fight with a roommate which sent me into a panic attack, and I tried calling him, got voicemail. Then I texted and asked him to call me at some point… I needed someone to talk to. Nothing. Then this morning, I emailed him like always, and after an hour, had no response. So I sent an email that said this really isn’t like him, which is concerning me that something not good is going on. I said that if it was life, he could talk to me if he needed someone. I also said that if it was me, he should just tell me, although I thought we’d been going in a good direction so I’d be confused if that was the case.
I’ve still heard nothing back. I don’t know what else to do. We both have said that we really like each other, and we’re being careful to take things slowly, and then out of nowhere I don’t hear from him for a couple of days, whereas we’d been in some form of contact every day for several weeks now.
I’m not sure if I should take it personally or not… I’m really confused, and I’m surprised to find myself a little more sad than I expected.
I am sorry that you are feeling down; but maybe you have different definitions of what taking things slowly means. Your response after your panic attack was to call, text, email, wait an hour and then email again.
Perhaps you should try to deal with your panic attack by using your own set of tools; he may feel not ready to be the person who tries to calm you down.
@poofandmook I’m sorry your relationship is not going well. It sounds like the ball is really in his court. I would not communicate with him again until you hear from him. It may be nothing, but it may be something.
@gailcalled: The call/text last night were several hours apart, and I just wanted to talk… not necessarily about what happened. This morning’s email was the same as every weekday morning… he said he looks forward to them so I did as I always do. I didn’t mention the panic attack or anything like that.
Taking things slow for me doesn’t mean going backwards.
@poofandmook: I wish I could help, then. As marinelife said, he may have different needs and expectations. Can you find some things to do, not involving him, that are fun and distracting? Sometimes guys don’t like the same rhythm that we do. Listen to what he does and not what he says. That’s also a guy thing.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir shared this thread with me and it has been so great to read and get to know all of you a bit better. It is a tribute to the human spirit to see how everyone really can come together to share and support. By the way, Simone, hope you feel better soon and that the future holds lots of tangos for you and Alex, not to mention the lil baby (prob not quite so little anymore….)
I am new to the Fluther community, but know some of you through the former Wis.dm….I have enjoyed Fluther and spend way too much time on here, so you may see me come and go in spurts.
My husband and I have been married for 4½ years and have been trying to conceive for 2 years. After noticing I was late for my period, (2 weekends ago) I took a pregnancy test that come out positive, but then I had a miscarriage last week. Severe cramps and started my cycle (not to get too graphic) I called into work and they made me take sick leave until I get a note from the doctor to be cleared to return to work. I of course, wanted to go back to work rather than sit and think…and cry…and think….but that was’t an option so I have started thnking about changes I want to make in my life. I feel that the lifestyle I lead is ok, not bad, not great- but I have not been living with purpose. I also feel like I am getting in my own way of being able to conceive by not having a healthier lifestyle. So here it goes the first day on my new schedule- the first day of the rest of my life as my hubby stated this morning.
@KhiaKarma I had a miscarriage too before I conceived that wis.baby you’re talking about – it is possible to get pregnant again and have a healthy pregnancy and labor. I am rooting for you guys.
I heard back from the doctor today – the biopsy was negative, no cervical cancer..All I have to do now is a follow up appointment in 2 weeks for the LEEP and another Pap smear in half a year…this is definitely good news.
@KhiaKarma I am so sorry for your loss. That is devastating.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir I am so happy that the news from the doctor was good—no cervical cancer!
@Simone That’s great news.
@Khia i am sorry for your loss – that’s really sad.
@poof wait and see. I thought I had lost a good friend and it was a misunderstanding Give it time. Sometimes people are going through their own things.
@poofandmook Maybe his family stuff is just overwhelming him at the moment. I’m hoping for a positive outcome for you!
@KhiaKarma I’m sorry you’re going through that. On the plus side, welcome to the thread and your new life.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir Fantastic news! So glad to hear it.
I GOT A JOB! What’s more, it’s full-time! And the best news of all: It’s with FLUTHER! I am so excited, you all. :D
@augustlan: Do we have to address you as “Commodore” or “Admiral” now? Congratulations.
The guy just stopped contacting me. I figured it out when I logged in to the site we met on, and found him online… when I messaged him, he blocked me. I’m really upset, simply because I can’t wrap my head around how people can play head games like this.
@augustlan: yay!
@poofandmook: He was a jerk… you knew that all the time. Kick him somewhere painful, metaphorically, and move on. Don’t give him any more power over you.
@augustlan These days jobs are hard to come by and to work where you love to volunteer is a blessing, truly – heartfelt congratulations to you!
I joined facebook. That’s not very reclusive of me.
@poofandmook
For either sex, I think after the second call, it’s in their court. And if no reply then it’s just not the right time or whatever. But excessive un answered texts or e-mails will only guarantee the same. Allowing space is key to any successful relating otherwise it’s suffocating.
I’m so glad this thread is still going, even though I’ve been out of touch. A huge congratulations to Augie! How wonderful that her new job will keep her even closer to us.
I finished spring quarter with the highest grade in the class, and the next highest was a 70-year-old student named Frank. Everyone else in the class was young, young, young, with their fresh unhardened brain cells hungrily waiting to be filled. Frank and I had to cram a ton of material into odd spaces in all that overstuffed, used and tattered gray matter. But we did it—old guys FTW!
I’m taking the summer off from studies while finishing the edit of a 100,000-word novel for one client (due this week) and starting another; in the fall I’ll probably take intro. to dramatic literature, filling a gap in my undergraduate education.
I’ve been schlepping the soft cast around on my foot for 6 months now and probably have the same still to go. It’s no bargain in hot weather. But there is very gradual improvement.
Some family ups and downs, but things are okay right now, and I don’t take that for granted.
Congratulations on your new job, @augustlan.
“There’ll be no more meatless Tuesdays, no more meatless Tuesdays, no more meatless Tuesdays for you, Hallelujah, sister!” Metaphorically speaking, of course.
@augustlan: Congratulations!!! I wish this meant you were moving to California! :)
Really, congratulations and cheers all around. @Jeruba for being a rockstar, @tinyfaery for joining the facebook, @poofandmook for disentangling herself from a bad idea before it became a worse one (even if involuntarily), @Simone_De_Beauvoir for your good health!
Yesterday, I accomplished two things, one planned and one unplanned: I ran my first half-marathon and inherited a cat (@gailcalled, you know how that goes).
I paced myself well and made it out of the race alive, which was really all I could hope for in my first race of this length. And I had fun. A lot of it. I am looking forward to the next half in 5 weeks.
I also managed to make amends with a friend who I thought was no longer a friend, which was related to the inheriting of the cat. It felt good to be able to help someone out, even if the person being helped maybe didn’t quite deserve it.
@poofandmook Grrr. What me to kick him in the shin for you? ‘Cuz I will. Better days ahead!
@tinyfaery Welcome to the other place the jellies congregate!
@Jeruba I bow before your giant brain! I can’t believe you’re still wearing that cast. My goodness, you must be sick of it by now. Hope the healing continues!
@nikipedia Congrats on the big race! That must have been exhilarating and exhausting. I’m proud of you! Nice news on the friend front, too.
@all I can’t tell you how happy I am to work for Fluther. I’ve got the best job in the world! Thank you so much for making it so, and for all of your kind words.
@all: yay for big accomplishments!
Thanks for the support. He’s a douchebag. I’m chatting with someone now that I was talking to at the same time weeks ago, but I chose the douchebag. You live, you learn.
@nikipedia: New kitteh! Yay! Pictures? :D
@tinyfaery: So glad you decided to join Facebook. As someone who struggles with hermitism (I made that word up because “recluse” is a type of spider and I want no association with those nasty bastards… plus, it sounds sort of scientific-like lol) I know what kind of a step that is. And congrats also on your pier outing. Hearing your success inspires me to try and get out too.
I feel like such a bad Jelly. I didn’t know @Jeruba was in a cast.
@Jeruba: I hope your cast comes off soon and that you find relief from the hot and itchiness. :)
@augustlan: I’m still awed and glad that you are a perma-member of the fluther team! Bendrewimisa?
I have finally figured out why I have had so much trouble writing this novel. I had the time-line all wrong! The hero is supposed to wander around, banished from his homeland for a few years before he meets the heroine! It makes so much more sense than it did before and now I can deal with a lot of other plot issues I was having. Hallelujah!
@KatawaGrey: Epiphany! Yay! Jealous… I always wanted to write a novel but could never come up with a good, original idea.
@poofandmook: Honestly, my ideas usually come from dreams I’ve had. :)
Also, it’s not necessarily about originality. It’s mostly about how it’s written. Start with what you know and go from there. Remember: you don’t have to write it perfectly the first time. That’s why we have heaven-sent people like @Jeruba who go through and say,“hey, this doesn’t make sense. Fix it.
I’m on vac till tomorrow so just casually Fluthering but have to say Mazel Tov (sob) to Auggie on the job and great to see you here again, Jeruba!
Auggie, are your tasks different or just more?
Ok we need some more testosterone in this thread. It’s getting to be a hen party in here.
Milo here; I was waiting for someone to notice. My goal, easily obtainable, is to continue to keep Gail malleable and obedient.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir
Okay fine I’ll be the lone rooster in the hen house. Don’t ruffle your feathers. Although I do love when you talk dirty
could be worse I suppose…
@SeventhSense You can keep the feathers. They look better on you.
@janbb Both different and more. Mostly more of the same, but I’ll also be involved in outreach stuff (our facebook page, etc), and things like trying to get us some new t-shirts. I ‘attended’ my very first staff meeting today, via Skype, and have been working with Tim throughout the day on a new document. Exciting stuff, for me. :)
Thanks to all for the encouragement you’ve given. We returned from camping the other day. We did lots of hiking and playing! It is nice to feel that my muscles have not totally abandoned me. Or rather, that I haven’t totally abandoned my muscles.
Teachers of mine approached the director of my school program to ask him to offer me some scholarship money and he is! It is my goal this week to get my books together and get a good chunk of reading done before the start of classes.
@liminal I’m cabin camping and hiking too. I’ve been coming to this forest all my life so it is very precious to be here! Good work on the scholarship.
@janbb
Ok now turn off the computer and go commune with nature.
I am amazed at how many houses are owned by Nigerian Missionaries. It’s almost as many houses as those owned by people who hate animals and those who keep them.
I’m starting to learn how to make my own clothes. I have to stay home now to save money and it’s a great time killer.
@py_sue
That’s a recent obsession of mine, too! I’m not very good yet. I do mostly skirts, which I don’t really wear anymore, and t-shirt surgeries. Those are fun.
What’s a t-shirt surgery?
You take, for example, a generic size M, cut out the ribbing around the neck, hem it to a rounded neck shape, shorten the sides and cut slits on sides to make it more feminine.
That is what I did to the Fluther t in order to make the men’s L fit a size 12 female.
Oh, I didn’t know that had a name. :) Thanks! I tried that once and I never wore that shirt.
I had the first of two days of lifeguard training today. It went relatively well, although some of it was difficult (i.e. going feet first from treading water to pick up a ten-pound brick from the bottom of a ten-foot diving well). The bad news is that I did get burned pretty badly even with my SPF 70— partially because I almost ran out of sunscreen, partially because there weren’t many breaks to reapply, and partially because I am just that white. The good news is that if I pass the test tomorrow, I will have a nice shady umbrella to look forward to sitting under. Some of the training was fun and other parts were just tedious. Needless to say, after training in the hot sun from 9:00 AM to 6:30 PM (minus the nearly two hours we spent inside during a thunderstorm), I am sore and exhausted. But I still have a whole other day of training ahead of me. Hopefully I will sleep well tonight, but I can’t sleep too soon because I still have to finish that problem set for AP Chemistry that is due tomorrow.
After one of the worst days ever, we made it to Illinois about 7 hours late.
@Fly Get a big bottle of aloe vera gel and keep it in the refrigerator. It makes the burned areas feel much better.
I have to get my nose back into the thesis work. I’ve been wasting too much time writing articles and chasing down references that have nothing to do with my studies. I’ve severed my relationship with a well-known reference site, over the parent organization’s cavalier “leaks”. We’ve been in a running battle over my “writing style” anyway; I write factual, properly cited and cross-referenced articles with my original research clearly identified. “Reader interest” is not my style.
The x-rays showed that the wrist is properly healing now. Next week the clumsy splint will be replaced with a removable cast; I’ll be able to use my right hand in typing again. I’ll be able to take the damned thing off to bathe, but it and the electrical gadget will have to stay on otherwise. If I’m a good boy the paraphernalia will be gone sometime in September.
I’m being extremely well cared for. A lovely young lady prepared a perfect flammekuche (Alsacian pizza) for me yesterday, served with the proper Gewurztraminer (Alto Adige Nussbaumer ‘07) and her charming company.
@augustlan @janbb We’re very tired but recovering slowly – it was just the worst day: bird vomited everywhere, then there was a 5 hour delay on the flight…then bird pooped everywhere twice on the plane, then we had to take the bus for 2 hours, then get driven..I almost killed everyone…with two kids, this trip is impossible, truly.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir Ah – yes, I remember those days. (There was that trip to a wedding in Rhode Island….) Rest up and enjoy.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir: Glad you’re all there in one piece and homicide free! incidentally, your new avatar picture is gorgeous
@stranger_in_a_strange_land: sometimes a good meal with good company does better than a therapist and some pills could.
@Fly: Congrats on the hard work! Take @stranger_in_a_strange_land‘s advice one step further… you can buy aloe gel that contains lidocaine, which is a mild topical anesthetic. Put that in the fridge, and put it on nice and cold… I guarantee you it feels so good it’ll rival sex.
This week I bought some cute as hell fleece at 50% off from JoAnn’s and made no-sew window treatments complete with valances. They almost completely black out the room, which is exactly the way I prefer my bedroom. Next check I’m going to buy some black satin ribbon to match the fleece, and add some decoration to the valance corners and also make them tie-ups to let some light in when I want to. I’m extremely proud of myself, which is a rarity.
Also, yesterday I managed to hold my family together while my grandmother went in for an extremely high-risk hysterectomy to remove her level 1 (not stage 1) uterine cancer, and as I mentioned in another thread, finally reined in the bitch factor and effectively and professionally dealt with a horrible hospital volunteer. Grandmother’s doing fine… she called me this morning.
I had a brief lapse in judgment and tried to wean myself off one of my meds, had a giant panic attack after an even more giant fight with my roommate that nearly resulted in me being asked to move out after three years, but now I’m back on the med and doing just fine. Life is feeling good again.
@poofandmook
I’m glad your Gramma is doing better. I’d have clocked that woman on the head with a bedpan. Idiots.—... the volunteer, not your Gramma. ^_^
@poofandmook @stranger_in_a_strange_land Thanks for the advice, I’ll definitely look into buying some aloe gel.
After Thursday I was really beat and I wasn’t sure if I was going to go back yesterday, but I’m glad I did because I got through it and I am now officially a lifeguard! I start the second week of August and work through Labor Day.
A sore, badly sunburned lifeguard, but still a lifeguard.
@Fly; Wear lightweight shirt and pants always, cover your legs with a towel, sit under umbrella, in addition to hat and sunblock.
Congratulations.
@gailcalled Thanks. :)
Unfortunately, we have to remain in uniform at all times so the only things that I can wear over my suit are shorts and the company lifeguard t-shirt. No towels allowed on the lifeguard stand either. But I will wear lots of sunblock and sit under the umbrella, and hope for the best.
@Fly; Oh, dear. With your white skin, you may have to save for regular trips to the dermatologist in 20 years, if you get burned regularly now. Maybe a different job next year with roe shade available?
A jelly friend told me to check out this thread.
Anyhow, my sister has been going through a lot lately (to the point to where she talked about taking her own life). She was in a terrible car accident, is on oxycontin for pain, her marriage is hanging by a thread and her husband has no interest in helping her (in fact, he has laid his hands on her and has been verbally abusive). So, picture a helpless baby bird being attacked by someone much bigger, stronger and healthier.
Anyway, my sister finally decided that she needs help (after talking to myself and family and essentially, hitting rock bottom). She will be going away for a month (drug treatment) and I offered to help with my niece. I may be taking her for the month of August. I would do anything for my sister and right now, she wants to get help. That’s progress, right?
@jjmah – Yes, it is. I wish you and your family well on this journey.
@jjmah Bless you. Meg’s spirit lives on in others.
@jjmah Stick around here (or somewhere) for support. You are working hard, dear; keep it up!
@jjmah We’re here for you, girlie.
@Fly So proud of you!
@Fly Ditto what your Mama says!
@Fly Dittos on the dittos. You might want to consider zinc oxide cream, even though it looks yucky.
@Fly: Congrats. I am telling you, get the gel with lidocaine… you’ll thank me for it.
@jjmah: My heart goes out to her. I’ve been there… minus the drug part.
@jjmah – Wanting to help oneself is a big part of the recovery. But there are often bumps in the road before one begins to feel safe. Don’t forget about al-anon for the family. I know it is not an alcohol related problem, but addictive behaviors are usually similar and it helps to know ahead of time what might be the best way of reacting if she hits a bump.
I speak from personal experience, I have hit a lot of bumps! I hope your sister’s road is less rocky.
======================Sunday, August 1=========================
I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately and am trying to keep myself busy in the RW, so nothing much to report but I’ll start the Sunday ball rolling. We are going to one of my happy places – Acadia in Maine – on Friday so I hope that will give me a lift.
I need to apologize in public because I totally forgot @Fly is Auggie’s daughter and at too tender and age to know if cold aloe with lidocaine on sunburn would rival sex :x Doh! Do they make an ointment for foot-in-mouth? xD
@janbb: Turn your funk into a little bit of George Clinton brand funk, girl! Hope you have fun in Maine!
@poofandmook (No worries. It was still funny. :P) @stranger_in_a_strange_land I did get some aloe gel with lidocaine yesterday and put it in the fridge, and it feels great. Thanks for the tip.
@all Thanks for the congrats/dittos. ;)
@jjmah That’s tough, but I’m glad your sister has decided that she needs help. I wish her, you, and your family all the best on her road to improvement. We’re all here for you.
@poofandmook We both laughed. :D
@janbb I hope the week ahead is better for you!
The mattbrowne interview is just about ready to publish on the blog, and may be a two-parter. He has a lot to say! I then have another interview to edit and post, along with some other work-related goals. My plate is full. :)
@Auggie – Ah, but it’s such a good interview. Thanks for the well-wishes.
I just wanted to add that I love you girls!
Ok it’s official. I’m going to have to grow boobs to stay here. This is like Terms of Endearment.
I’m back to work post Illinois. I’m back to (hopefully) my weight loss regiment. I feel that time is slipping by too quickly lately, I don’t know hos we’re in August already and I’m starting to feel pangs of anxiety in connection my grad school applications.
@jjmah
Did you mean me? Simone certainly has her own pair of female mammary glands.
@jjmah
Aww thanks. I’d post a picture of my naked chest but I don’t want to give all the ladies “the vapors”.
@janbb I’ll be applying these coming months. The application process doesn’t bother me – it’s that I have to take the GRE and that I have to search for adequate writing samples (nothing I’ve written previously is in the field of Sociology) that gives me anxiety.
Tonight I start the first of two classes needed to get my phlebotomy certification. I’m getting anxious that taking a science class during the accelerated summer semester was getting in over my head. Science and I do not get along.
@janbb grins at least one grandma of mine knows what I’m doing in my life, sigh.
@poofandmook: Good thing you have some excellent scientists here on Fluther to help you. And me. :)
@nikipedia: This is definitely true. I hope they ask me about brains! ;)
Must….get…. out…feeling weepy…need steak…. :)
And iron and zinc and Vitamin B12, B6 Niacin Phosphorous and Zinc. Meat is also a complete protein. It contains the nine essential amino acids that our bodies can not produce.
Iron which is found in abundance in red meat is the nutrient most lacking in the US diet. As far as fat a six ounce sirloin trimmed contains only 6 grams of fat and 366 calories. Four tablespoons of peanut butter has 32 grams of fat. So eat some roast beast.
@SeventhSense Commercially grown or other? Exactly what type of roast beef are you suggesting?
I would say organic if possible but there are pollutants in everything. The PVC in your house will just as soon kill you as denying oneself the healthful benefits of meat while avoiding byproducts.
@SeventhSense I’m really not getting into this mess on this thread.
@YARNLADY
Eat a well balanced diet and eat your spinach kids.
@What on earth is a “spinach kid?”
@SeventhSense I want to the store to find some Spinach kids per your suggestion, but I couldn’t find any. Can you give me some more information about this?
They’re usually found near the Olive Oyl.
Part 1 of the mattbrowne interview was posted to the blog today. Part 2 is ready to go, and will post next week. That gives me time to work on the next interview (which I’m very excited about).
My sleep schedule has been extremely messed up lately, so I didn’t sleep all last night and I’m not going to sleep today, so hopefully I’ll be tired tonight and get to sleep at a relatively normal time, and in turn wake up at a time earlier than 12:00/1:00.
I’m already extremely tired and it’s just early morning, so I might have a bit of trouble staying awake today :(
Augie,
I think we need a new page.
Anxiety is f*cking kicking into overdrive. I’m hanging in there.
@jjmah Virtual hugs and pettings coming your way. Deep breaths, sweetie.
@jjmah A cup of chamomile tea along with the deep breathing. Zen hugs.
Thank-you, ladies. I am really thankful that I have your support.
@jjmah: Do you have a kitteh? Find a kitteh. They make the anxiety all better :)
@SeventhSense: I heart steak. And kudos for the Dr. Seuss reference.
I enjoyed my class yesterday, but I wish I knew how to draw. I have about fifty-eleven horrible drawings of the human heart that would be completely unintelligible to anyone else but me.
Oh, and I just punched myself in the face swatting a fly. Depth perception, 1. Me, zilch.
@jjmah Respectful and friendly guy ((hug)). Know how you feel.
@SeventhSense: Oh, so no kudos then. “Roast beast” refers to How The Grinch Stole Christmas.
Oh yes that was definitely the Seuss. I give him full credit.
@jjmah We’re with you – Alex and I, that is – it got to us today, went for a loooong walk that helped a bit – maybe you can do the same? Try to walk in my direction
I would just like to point out the huge progress with Prop. 8 today. I think that deserves a special mention. :)
I am at the end of week 1 of a four week program to wean myself off an anxiety-preventing drug.
First two weeks, I take ½ original dosage. Second two weeks, ¼. Doc. then suggested I lick a tab for a week to assuage the anxiety of getting off the drug. We laughed, but I might have to try it.
@gailcalled That makes sense to me. You should lick the damn tab, whatever helps – the fear of getting off meds is all too familiar to me.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir: There is also the issue of the crumbs in the container. A damp finger will extract them.
Have you gotten off serious psychotropic drugs successfully? I am talking, here, specifically, about Klonopin. Apparently, after several years, it loses its efficacy, which I have to keep reminding myself.
@gailcalled I’ve taken Klonopin when I had severe panic attacks. I knew I could take up to 8 per day when things were really bad – I kept a diary and was very determined to get off Klonopin as I was also on Lexapro and Ambien and a bunch of others things just to keep me functioning. Eventually, as Lexapro took over, I took less and less of Klonopin but those pills are addictive in a psychological sense because they work so quickly, for me. Thankfully, I’ve never had terrible panic attacks like that since.
@Simone de Beauvoir; The body is so interesting. I had a violent allergic reaction to Lexapro (vomiting for 48 hrs), and tried Ambien briefly, which did absolutely nothing. Now I am on a low daily dose of Zoloft and Amitrypline (for sleep issues). Once I triumph over the Klonopin, I may try kicking the Zoloft.
(8 what per day?)
Wow. What mg. were they? I take 1 mg. at bedtime…now ½ mg.
@gailcalled You know I don’t remember – I’d have to go look for them in the drawers to find out and that’s something I really don’t want to do (scares me, anyway). I didn’t know that was a lot.
Down to 30mg of Paxil daily now. So far, so good. J and I are still discussing making public a certain agreement.
@SeventhSense Agreed, we definitely need a new thread. I’ll start it on a Sunday, though, just to be consistent.
@richardhenry got a letter today saying that an approved fiancé visa has made it to the London consulate. YAAAAY. This means we get to move on with the rest of the process.
We cannot believe how fast this got approved, but it’s a good thing!!! :D :D :D :D
@chels and richard * * * Y A Y * * *
@chels Congrats, I’m so happy for you both! <3
I didn’t realize there was a romance going on! Did you meet in Fluther? I am with the man I met on the internet almost 15 years ago.
Congrats!
Congrats @chels!! That is wonderful news!
@chels GREAT!! So happy for both of you!
I found this group and I’m definitely going.
Nar-Anon
@mangeons @Seaofclouds @stranger_in_a_strange_land Thank you guys. It means a lot :)
@rooeytoo We actually started talking on Facebook (but knew each other through Fluther, yeah :) It’s pretty crazy, but so completely incredible! That’s awesome, and thank you!!
Normally the process (that took one month for us) takes 5 or so months, so we got really lucky. Not too much more time ‘til we move to SF!
@jjmah
Good for you. I started in Narcotics Anonymous and after 23 years of sobriety the majority of my issues are with other addicts/alcoholics! I’ve been to Al-Anon but not Nar-Anon. Just don’t expect to find out how to change them. It’s all about what you want to change about yourself to accept this person you can’t change. It’s about finding peace and putting yourself first.
Jacqueline and I are now officially engaged.
@Seaofclouds @marinelife Thanks, it seems very fast, but Jacqueline and I have known each other for years. The nature of the relationship changed over the last several months. I give her more credit for the depression lifting than any of the meds I’ve been taking. I’m down to about half dosage now with no problems. We’re tentatively planning the wedding for late autumn, we’re both cold weather people who would rather snuggle in front of a fireplace than romp on a beach for a honeymoon.
This about sums up my life right now. :)
@jjmah Your link isn’t working.
Meet us in the new thread, for part 9.
See here
My oldest son called me. It’s the first time I’ve heard his voice in nearly 15 years. We communicate by computer mostly, rather than phone, and I don’t like skype, so I haven’t used it. I’m going to visit him in Sweden later this month.
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