I had a one night stand that kind of spilled over into the entire weekend, does this mean we can't just be friends?

What do you want from the relationship at this point? What does she want? It seems to me that the only answer is to talk to each other.

So, you just want to be friends? She probably wants more. It is unlikely that you can just be friends unless you talk things out completely.

You can be friends, but it’s more complicated when it wasn’t made clear before you had sex that it was just a casual thing.

You have to talk about the weekend in order to straighten it out. If her pattern of relationships doesn’t include acting on sexual urges without regard to consequences, both physical and emotional, then probably not. For a lot of people, sex is not just physical.

Have you ever heard the old saying, “you can never go back home”? think about it.

“Beer goggles”? Oh, dear. It’s strained because her emotions got involved, while, apparently, you were wearing beer goggles. That’s nobody’s fault, just mismatched expectations. You’re going to have to talk to her about it. If she gets upset because you aren’t romantically interested in her, let her speak her piece and get it over with. At least then you’ll have both cleared the air and can move forward, be it as friends or not.

I don’t know how it is these days, but when I was your age, some thirty years ago, there would be no “just friends” after something like that. That was before the age of hookups. Or fwb. We had our own version of such things, but it wasn’t nearly as sort is now.

Still, as much as people believe it’s just sex, that’s as much self deception now as it was then. A whole weekend for crying out loud! It’s really hard to transition from that to just friends. Really, if she’s acting luke there’s more between you, then the kindest thing to do would be to tell her it’s over. None of this trying to be friends thing.

If you tell her you only want to be friends, she is under enormous pressure to say yes just to stay close to you, even though she really wants to be more than friends. You can go that way if you really enjoy drama. You don’t strike me as the kind of person who is into drama.

The last girl I had a one-night stand with, she ran off right afterward. We agreed before we met that it would be just a one-night stand before we met so there’d be no hurt feelings or disappointments afterward. But it woud have been nice had she stayed around for a day or two. So you had a whole weekend of fun. She had a whole weekend of fun. Be happy :-)

“woud have been nice had she stayed around for a day or two.”

I mean this in all curiosity, @HungryGuy: How come?

From what I’ve been led to understand, if there’s a one-night stand happening, all parties have their bit of fun, sleep over (maybe), and then leave in the AM ASAP, no hard feelings. Is that not usually the case?

Just be yourself and pursue your own path in life. You’ll find out soon enough if she makes the journey more pleasurable, or if she’s just excess baggage.

@aprilsimnel – Yes, that’s almost always the case. Especially if you agree beforehand that it’s just a one time stand and you’ll never see each other again.

What is your definition of “just be friends”? Does it include “let’s hook-up again if either one of us feel like it”? Agreeing beforehand what the terms of engagement are is critical. Going into it from the perspective of “we’re agreeing to use each other” is different than “I thought we were sharing, but that wasn’t what you wanted.”

In any relationship, whether it be friends, lovers or any other, communication is the key. Talking it over is the only way to find out.

She’s not pregnant, is she?

Happens all the time. I would not overthink the problem.

Do you feel that you have formed any type of “friendship” or a platonic bond with this girl where she’s worth having as a friend? Sometimes things in life can be complicated doesn’t mean a friendship isn’t worth a shot. If your down.

@gypsywench
I was under the impression, because someone put this thought in my head, that you couldn’t stay friends with a person you sleep with the first night. As I think about this I wonder why I believed it at all and regret letting this thought taint my friendship with this person.