If your pet could talk (yeah right) what do you imagine they would have to say to you?

I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!

Jolie would have said, “I miss you! I miss sleeping above your head. Why can’t you take me to uni with you? What do you mean ‘allergic’?”

My roommates’ dog Hazel would say, ”RUBMAHBELLAH!RUBMAHBELLAH!RUBMAHBELLAH!EAT!EAT!EAT!SQUIRREL!SQUIRREL!EAT!RUBMAHBELLAH!RUBMAHBELLAH!

Her: ”<grumble> maybe the new kitten’s not all bad <grumble><grumble>. Now feed me wet food.”
Him: “omg it’s a fish. omg omg, must kill the fish… nom nom the fish… fish fish fish… ooooh shiny thing…”

She’s a very big 2 year old Russian blue. He’s a tiny 9 week old orange tabby. “Fish” refers to a stuffed fish on a string. hehe

Actually, she reminds me a lot of Percy, the cat, from the webcomic: www.sinfest.net

My dog pretty much talks to me all the time, and says essentially 2 things: “Hey, can I have some of that?” and “Thanks, boss.”

“Okay, so you do bring me all kind of different brands of kitty food, but can you buy me something that i really like, like Boeuf Bourgignon, smoked salmon, strawberries with cream?”
“And all the meowing that i always do in your ear? I do that just to annoy you, because really, i can talk…”

Okay asshole—you’re toast! The ASPCA is on the way.

Miss Kitty would tell me “you know, I really like Dad better than you, but at least you clean out my litter box… by the way, can you get me a snack while you’re up?”

Food now. and now. and now.

Has anyone seen my mouse? Any of them? Okay, how about the krinkle balls? No? Well, guess I’m playing Foot and Claw tonight.

Hey you! You with the opposable thumbs! Open up that can, would ya? Great, now dump that stuff in a bowl and set over here. And when you’re down with that could ya work on that litterbox thing?

My cat can talk…but, he doesn’t need to. He has his “I’d like some food” look…he goes to the door when he wants out (no litter box)...and, he sits in front of the refrigerator when he wants milk.

He has us trained…and, good. He does make a low-volumn meow to go outside in the night. He will allow you to go to the bathroom first…but, as soon as he hears a flush…ZOOOM! Out the door.

I’m listening…....

I’m still listening…..

Hmmm. Nothing. And my pet can talk,.

Yup. It talks very well for something that is nonexistent.

Milo here; I am working on increasing Gail’s word recognition. Slowly she is getting the hang of it.

I wish I weren’t dead.

mainly ‘let me eat you let me eat you, let me eat your toes, let me eat your food, let me eat your socks, let me steal all your stuff and hide it, no I shall not do a trick, do I look like a dog to you? now excuse me while I poop a lot’ ... but mainly they actually say ‘wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka’ and trash everything. That’s ferrets for you.

“Are you looking at me?”
“Hey! Where’d you go?!”
“What’s that smell?”

It would be wonderful if pets could talk, but due to their small brains it would be limited around the general Can I Haz Cheezburger?

The fireworks are driving my border collie insane. he cannot find anything to cover himself with, in order to avoid the loud noises and flashes of the fireworks.

If he could talk, he probably would tell me this….” if you do not hide me, i am going to attack the cat next door, pee on the carpets and sling my water bowl through the front plate glass window”.

I found him a hiding place and put earmuffs on his ears. he thanked me.

I had my cat since September, 1996 until March 14th ot this year. She always talked to me. She mostly tried to boss me around, and was pretty bitchy. She said “Oh shut up” a lot, and “So?”
I’m convinced that she had a secret laboratory like Dexter, and that she conducted evil experiments on me while I was sleeping. Several times I remember seeing her wearing a lab coat and writing on a notepad and I was always in a supine position. The memories are kind of fuzzy….

“I -love-you-take-me-for-a-walk-lets-go-to-the-park-lets-play-ball-can-i-chase-a-squirrel-is-it-dinnertime-yet?”

I have one pet that talks clearly and one that talks kind of like a munchkin.

My new cat would say ” my what nice breasts you have” as he is kneading them. lol

Aimee: “Mommy, I wuv you This much!!” “Now, go and cook.”
Donnie: “Hi. How are ya? Throw this for me five times-then go cook.”