Would you rather eat at Bug Buffet or Gourmet Poop?
Bug Buffet is a casual restaurant that offers all the bugs you can eat for a flat fee of $15. They have 200 different kinds of bugs, and the dead bugs are unprepared in bins along the buffet, separated by species. Alternatively, you can order the Bug Deluxe plate, which offers you one of each of the 200 bugs together on a single platter.
Gourmet Poop is a very upscale restaurant run by a world-renowned chef who has decided to take his business in a new, exciting direction. The main element of every entree choice is human poop, but it has been prepared in many extravagant ways and is accompanied by flavorful sides and sauces that compliment the type of poop and the style of preparation.
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53 Answers
Depends. I go wherever Suicide Enema is the house band.
It’s ok, @girlofscience. Really. Everything is ok. Just hold my hand. The ambulance is on the way. They have some very nice drugs to give you and you will feel juuuuuuust fine. No. No. Really. You’ll be fine. Look, the nice paramedics are here already.
Bug Buffet by a longshot.
Bugs are usually edible and healthy.
Shit isn’t.
There’s really a poop restaurant? Dude, ew.
I’ll go for bugs. I thinks insects are neat, and I’ve eaten some before.
This is such an easy choice.
Bugs please.
I think I’m gonna throw up…
=\
Dude, I don’t think anyone’s going to pick Gourmet Poop.
Why? The sauces sound excellent.
I’ll go down the street and eat dirt, thanks.
Neither and the main reason I do most of the cooking at home!!
I’ll take an ant.
Shit belongs in the toilet, not on a plate.
Bug Buffet. Those at least have a history of being nutritious. Besides that, my policy on excrement is that it finds its way out ASAP.
(NSFW) The Gourmet Poop, but only if my date was Veronica Moser. Warning, Google her at your own risk, and only on an empty stomach.
And do not ask me how I knew her name.
BTW, this is a crazy question, but I gave you a Great Question bump for having the cojones to ask it. :-)
Either, if prepared correctly, can be crunchy on the outside and creamy on the inside.
This reminds me of the episode of Invader Zim where Gir takes over and the house goes rampaging through the city to get tacos. The drinks they have there are Cherry Poop, Classic Poop, Diet Poop, and salty lemonade.
“It’s one giant shit sandwich and we all have to take a bite”
EEEWWW!!! I’d have to choose bugs….
Bugs. Even though I’m pretty much deathly afraid of all bugs. If they’re dead, I might only pass out for a little while.
I think I’d just go hungry.
@knitfroggy – oh hell yes, i’m with you! Why’d i not think of that in the first place?? :)
No question… Bugs.
But… If it is Pamela Anderson’s poop, and she provides her body to eat off of. Hmmmm.
I’ll take bugs over poop any time any day. When I first saw the question I thought SO was referring to this
restaurant. I hade seen it featured, either on the Food Network or the Travel Channel. But when I read about the real poop mentioned, I almost got sick!
To all those who would take bugs over poop, don’t bugs have a pretty good load of poop in them? Is it just out of sight, out of mind?
@ETpro – no, it’s not that. The idea of eating another person’s poop is just EW. I’d rather eat animal poop though.
@ETpro sure there is some poop in the bug, but there is also a shitload :P of protein and nutrients in it as well. Some bugs actually taste good too.
Shit is just…..shit. And its toxic.
@NaturallyMe To each his own, but if it came from a stunning woman with a gorgeous booty and I could be sure that’s where it came from—as in getting it from the source—I’d go for the gourmet poop over eating bugs any day of the week.
@uberbatman As described, the Gourmet Poop restaurant puts a little poo in with lots of other stuff to—can we even say compliment the taste? And while a single bug doesn’t have much poo in its intestines, a whole meal full of them amounts to a pretty sizable poo serving.
@ETpro think about how many bugs one would have to consume to even get a teaspoon of poop.
@uberbatman The question is about eating a whole meal’s worth.
@ETpro im betting it wouldnt even come close to comparing.
@uberbatman I’m betting there’s more poo in a heaping plate of bugs. But to each his own source of poo.
@ETpro as apposed to eating straight poop? that even the slightest bit from most animals will make you violently ill
@uberbatman No. Therein lies the confusion. Read the second paragraph of the explanation of the OP. The explanation says that Gourmet Poop uses a small amount of poop, presumably cooked and rid of any nasty bacteria, and mixes it with other ingredients to get a final dish that is tasty. Why anybody would want to eat at either one of these places escapes me, but I think if I had to go for one or the other, I’d skip the bugs.
@ETpro you cant cook shit to rid bacteria. No amount of cooking will do that. Still, how small of an amount?
Still, bugs are quite tasty. Termites taste like carrots.
@uberbatman Of course you can cook anything till bacteria in it are all dead. You can’t eliminate all viruses with heat. Some can even survive fire. Of course, viruses can infect insects too. I’ve eaten chocolate covered ants, and tehy were fine. But past that, I’ve no experience with insects. I do think if I lived where locust swarms often devastated all the crops I had meant to eat, I’d learn how to cook and eat them to return the favor.
Most viruses found in shit can not be killed by heat. This is why when cleaning game it is so crucially important to avoid accidentally cutting into the colon in the process. You are libel to ruin the whole animal. Sure viruses can be present in insects but that is insanely rare for the most part. locusts taste quite good as well. When the 17 year cicada came up a few years back, my culinary school collected a bunch and cooked them up all different ways. Raw was good as well though.
This question has descended into seriousness and I feel it should be re-elevated back into comedy.
What are the portion sizes at Gormet Poop? I might go for the Bug Buffet. You can never beat a good buffet deal.
@tp Yeah, I am pretty sure that’s not chocolate fudge Mz. Moser plays with.
@tp She is either seriously gross or a seriously great actress at making it appear she’s seriously gross. I’m still not sure which. But the fact there is a market for such porn testifies to the truth that there are some seriously gross people out there. And I still wonder if they can really do that without it killing them.
That’s a tough question… I would rather eat at a bug resturaunt because they are actually high in nutritional value, as opposed to poop. Like, when people are lost on the jungle or forest, they eat crickets and worms to keep themselves alive. Poop is actually highly toxic and if you eat it you will die. (Plus, bugs don’t smell as bad as poop.)
Resturaunt names!
BUG-ger King
McDUNGle’s
(I need mottos now..)
Wait. Why don’t we just go to the resturaunt down the street that serves REAL food?
@sydsydrox Excellent point. We already have fast-food restaurants that are as gross as what the OP describes.
@ETpro XD Yeah I know, half the stuff on some menus are less healthier than your own poo. That’s sad.
Looks like ill be rockin the bug buffet for real. My college is doing a dinner on sustainable eating and we’ll all be eating bugs. Im actually going to be cooking the bugs for the dinner so im pretty excited :)
Looks like I’ll eat the poop, as long as it doesn’t look AND smell like poop. I might be able to handle those two senses separately, with those spices, sides, and sauces.
@unused_bagels Insufficient spices and sauces? IIs that why those bagels are unused? ~
I might use the poop to attract the bugs!
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