May I have an example of a Freudian slip you have heard?

My husband’s cousin once said,
Yeah, I had enough, (when offered another drink), when he meant to say I haven’t had enough.
(He really did have enough)

My very proper mother once tried to say crock pot and ended up saying something much ruder in a crowded restaurant, very loudly in the middle of a hush. Not sure if that counts as a Freudian slip, but it was hilarious.

From Wikipedia…

“A Freudian slip is when you mean one thing, but you say your mother.”

The frail old man across the street asked me if I wanted a lot of (i think it was) bricks from his backyard. I said Sure! Do you mind if I borrow your wheelchair? (I meant wheel barrow).
I felt this small

One day, there was a priest sitting in a pew with a very worried and nervous
look, and another priest saw him and wondered what was wrong. The second priest thought he should try to help, so he approached his distraught associate and asked him what was wrong.

“Well,” the first priest said, “have you ever heard of a Freudian slip?”

“No,” said the other.

“Well,” said the first, “it’s when one slips and says something one is thinking
usually when it is the least opportune time.”

“Oh,” said the third, “so, what happened?”

“Well, today I performed a wedding and you know the part when you say ‘I now pronounce you man and wife’?” asked the first.

“Yes?” said the second.

“Well that is what I meant to say, and what I actually said was, ‘I now sentence you to death.’”

I once described to my black friend about fixing something as nigger rigging.

We both laughed. :-)

Some years ago I worked in a high end retail gift shop in a tourist community.

At closing time a couple walked in, I was a bit frusterated as I was minutes from closing.

Looked up and casually said..’ and how are you FUCKS today!’ OMG!

I couldn’t believe it!

Classic!

The husband was amused, the wife not so much. But I know they could tell from my horrified presence that it was a totally ‘innocent’ slip. lol

@Coloma that is funny! I almost wet my pants.
I worked in a bank for years. One day I was standing about 10 feet from the president of the bank when I asked the credit file clerk why she “jacked off the file cabinet.” I meant to say jacked up.

@Coloma Oh, that is funny. I’ve worked retail. I know, what you are talking about. :D
I think you pronounced it right.

I’m going to go to bed with you, instead of I’m going to go to bed when you do. Laughter followed.

I once got caught looking at my watch while making love.

@ChazMaz Not sure that’s a Freudian slip, but it can definitely get you into trouble!

My boss used to sometimes say she had to copulate something when she meant computate. Not sure this is a Fruedian slip, but it made us giggle.