How do you ask people to pay for your work when they think it should be free?

How about this: “I’d love to help you with the project! My usual rate is $___, but since we’re such good friends I can do it for $____. Does that work for you?”

And your friends may be wondering the same thing but aren’t sure how to non-awkwardly bring it up. A friend of mine offered a photography lesson, and I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to offer to pay her or not, so I just never took her up on it.

We all have probably been in a similar situation as yours and can feel your frustration. When services are offered for free, the word gets out. And when a friend or family member continues to offer them without charge, it comes to be expected.

If you feel that you really want to change this pattern, it is just a matter of finding out the details before saying “yes”. As a friend says, “Do you want it fast, cheap or good?...pick 2.”

@nikipedia too the words right out of my mouth. If they ask you why you can’t do it for free for them if they have the gall to be that rude tell them you simply can’t afford to do work for free. If they persist in being give them the examples you gave us. Tell them that when you write that cover letter or press release for free, it’s like a shop keeper giving away items in their shop for free. You could also tell them that when you take the time to do this thing for them, you sometimes lose work because you are freelance.

Remember that you are a professional. If you were a student trying to make a name for yourself, well, our answers would be different, but you are a professional and thus you should get paid.

@nikipedia said what I wanted to say, and better.

Just let them know that it takes time away from paying jobs to do them a favor. Tell them they can either wait until you have free time or they can insure your time by paying your fee.

You learned your lesson already with the10 hour loss. I would say: I would be glad to do that for you and can fit it in this week. My fee is ? an hour and I am guessing it may take 5 hours. Or use the answer from @nikipedia
This is such a super question and I need to add that you must respect yourself and honor yourself by charging for your work.

I’d say “I’d love to, but I have bills that are due, so the only way I can do it is as a paying job right now. My non-work time is needed to relax my brain, not add to my stress.

I don’t work but that makes me furious. Of all the nerve of those people using you.
You’re probably too nice. That could be it. I would just turn them down flat. “I’m sorry;
I“m just so busy the work is stacked up and I have to get it finished.”
I simply would not do Any free work if it takes more than 15 minutes!

Like you, I’ve been asked to provide free editorial services for friends and family. I proofread for my husband and sons without hesitation, always promptly and always gratis. But I do expect others to be respectful of my time when they ask for professional services.

One thing you can always do right up front is assess how long the task is going to take you. You’re a pro, so you can probably judge within about 15 minutes how long an edit is going to take and within an hour how long you need for a piece of writing. So tell them: “You’re asking me for about five hours’ professional work here.”

Wait a minute and see what they say.

Where you go from there is up to you:
“I’ll make you a present of the first two hours, and the rest will cost you $—.”
“I can’t afford to give up that much time from my paying work right now.”
“Do you consider $— a reasonable rate? If not, I have a colleague who can probably do it for less.”
“I’ll do what I can with this in an hour, and that’s all I can afford to offer you at no charge.”

or—

@nikipedia‘s excellent answer.

After the first time, I would see nothing wrong with saying simply “This is my bread and butter. You can’t expect me to do it for nothing.”

Is there anything you’d like them to do for you that you feel could be of comparable value to you?

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. If I were you and these “_friendly people and relatives_” come around looking for a hand out or free services if I were you I would say “If it can wait I will gladly do it but now I am involved with other (paying) customers and unless you are able and willing to compensate me for ”their” time your project will cut into I can’t right now” If they insist why you can’t I would explain that certain projects or pieces take certain amounts of time and that to take it on right now would take away from other things already in the books, that if they wanted it done pro bono they will have to be willing to wait on it. You can get anything 3 ways, cheap, expertly done, or fast; you can get any 2 but you never get all three. If you want it quick and expertly done be prepared to spend deep. If you want it cheap and quick don’t look for high quality. If you want it cheap and expertly done better be prepared to wait, and maybe wait more. You will never get anything done expertly, cheap, and in a hurry. You might also ask them if they are willing to give of their time or items in sweetheart terms? Ask the millionaire if she will give you a $50,000 signature load at 1% and deferred for the 1st 8 years and see how she reacts.

I spin and knit and have made some fabulous stuff. And people always want me to “make one for them.” Because it’s knitwear, people see it as either “something like what grandma always made them for free,” or they expect to pay as little for it as they would a sweater sold at Wal*Mart.

My solution, when they do offer to pay peanuts is to make a quick total of time and materials right there for them, so they can begin to understand the effort involved. “Would you make me a sweater like that? I’d totally pay you!” – “Great! Since the wool itself costs about $50, and it took me the better part of a year to make in my offtime, I could get by with charging you only about $750. Is it worth that to you?” – “Oh. I’m sure it’s totally worth it,” they say, “But I think I’ll just buy one. I mean, I totally thought it would be cheaper than a store-bought one since you made it at home.”

Most of the time they offer nothing, though, so since they want to make a significant claim on my time and materials, I offer to do it if they do something of a similar commitment for me. Suzy wants a sweater, but she is a baker? Great, Suzy, can you keep me in bread for a year? Oh. That sort of thing. Usually they are unwilling to invest something of the same effort’s-worth and the subject drops.

I get this all the time, and really feel your pain. I build websites and it seems everyone “just needs something simple, nothing fancy at all” or “just a blog” for their new business, or their baby, or their dog. I love helping friends, especially when they’re excited about an idea.

I said yes so many times and then would do them when I could. I did an awful lot for free, I did an awful lot of bad, fast work that I wasn’t proud of because I just couldn’t put the time in. The turning point for me was when I had someone get upset because I didn’t deliver in a timely manner. From my side, I was working a ton of hours and just didn’t have time to put into their project. From their side I wasn’t living up to my word.

People have no idea how much time goes into your work or mine, they simply see the results and the results in both cases (written work, and websites) are so plentiful, they must be simple, correct? Unfortunately not.

I hate doing it but now I force myself to charge a “friend” rate on this sort of stuff. It’s a great value for them, but I’m surprised how few take me up on it. I explain how long I think it will take, and use the advice above about what my normal rates would be, but most people take it as me saying I don’t have the time. Which I guess is true. Some are negative, but most really just had no idea how long the work would take.

One thing that has worked for me, but may not translate for you, is to refer the ones who aren’t interested in paying to some of the do-it-yourself type services that are out there. Maybe there are some writing guides you could refer them to?

Perhaps the solution is somewhere in the middle? Suggest they do the initial research, creation, and pass it along to you for editing and suggestions at the friend rate. Then you give it back for reworking until it meets their approval. This could “save them money” and at least the initial work isn’t on you. If they’re committed, they’ll take a shot at the initial work and get a feel for what it actually takes to produce something like what they want. It won’t be professional quality, but the price may be more to their liking and you’re still helping out with your expertise. If producing the quality and quantity of work their asking for is too much for them, then maybe your friend rate doesn’t sound so bad after all.

@funkdaddy A Web page like anything else. tell then they can get it free, well done, or fasr they can chose which two, if they want it well done and dirt cheap tell them you will see them in 8 months to a year. If they want it well done and fast trell them it will cost them X amount because they would be hording in on a paying customer’s time and as a professional that would not be ethical or right for you to do them that way. You would have to give them a break and they should be willing to make up the discount they are forcing you to give the the paying custoimer in order for you to do their project.

I’m a writer-editor, too, and have struggled with this issue for many, many years. (It was especially true in my ad agency days—copywriting is considered a necessary evil which NOBODY wants to pay for!). I finally got to the point when I would do the “simple” job gratis only for someone very close to me or when I felt I was making an investment in a potential paying client. But to answer your question specifically, I can’t do it better than the first reply in this thread. Might your close friend be offended by such an email and stop being your friend? Probably not, but if this happens, the friendship wasn’t built on solid ground, right?

Just say,
“Oh great and good for you. I can’t wait to help. Business has been slow so I could really use the work. And you get the friend rate! When do we get started?”

I don’t think I can improve upon @nikipedia ‘s answer. I really liked it and think it’s a good way to go about this.

This happens to me sometimes; help me with this, edit that. Teach my kid here, translate something for me there.

One person went so far as to send me a 25 page article for his doctoral thesis and asked me to “just translate is for him.”

One person wanted my “going hourly rate” – but lives an hour’s drive away. I explained that the hour actually meant 3 hours of my (fluther) time, plus travel expenses. How could I just give an hourly rate?

I just say that I am working on jobs that are paying and I don’t have the time. After that they usually offer to pay thinking they will get in front of the (non-existent) line.

Just tell them my time is money to me and how I pay the bills..simple.

I’m verklempt. I’m gobsmacked. So many incredible, lovely and helpful answers, Jellies! I really am touched by your responses. It’s amazing to me how many of you have also been faced with the same situation. I didn’t expect such a huge and thoughtful response…but I am ever so grateful.

All of you had great info…I am going to combine advice from all the offerings and come up with a plan of action. Most of my friends and family read my blog….so I think I’m going to put something there, too.

I will respond to everyone personally….in the mean time, I am sending all of you Lurve. I think that you have really contributed great information that will help a lot of Jellies who need to stand up and get paid for their creative work dammit! :)

You Jellies….rock. You really do. Thank you from the bottom of my ink-stained heart.