Would a guy check his phone / answer a non-urgent text if he's into you?

Are you saying that you are on a date and the guy answers a text from another woman? Not a good sign and very rude, to boot. I would challenge him.

A rude inconsiderate guy would do that and be a clear sign he is not into you, at least by my standards.

How did the rest of the date seem? Don’t look for signs and portents; what was your overall impression of him? Ideally, he should have turned off his phone, but things aren’t always ideal these days (or ever.)

Some younger people, I have noticed, check their phones like a tic or something. It may just mean he’s a phone addict.

When I was at the oncologist’s this week, I saw a middle-aged woman return to the waiting room after her chemo session. She was looking typically grey and tired. Her daughter had her iPod plugged into her ears and was texting on an iPhone. The mother had to finally poke the daughter in the thigh to get her attention.

Ok, this would probably say NSFW if it meant what I thought. Never mind

I think it’s rude.I’d probably get up and walk away.

I wouldn’t go out on another date with him and I would tell him why.

I, for one, find it really hard to not look at my phone when I get a message. If I’m at lunch with my mom or something, I will look at a message, but won’t return it, unless it’s something really important 99% of the time, it isn’t I wouldn’t write the guy off totally because he texted during a date. I would maybe say something about it, make a joke and see what he said.

I’m in agreement with @dpworkin. Does your date have kids or maybe excited nosey friends who want to ask how his date is going? I used to get all kinds of bent when people texted in my presence until I got a celly and then I had to really work out what is acceptable behavior. Someone else suggested you look at the overall date aside from the texting for an idea if he’s into you, I like that advice too.

Quite possibly. Cellphones have invaded every corner of our lives. And lots of people enjoy broadcasting their lives to the world.

The problem would occur if he does this in bed.

Full disclaimer: I wrote this answer on my iPhone.

I wouldn’t take it to be a sign that he’s not into you. Some people are just ridiculous about their phones. But, if it bothers you, I think you should ask him not to do that.

Checking the phone on a date is rude. On a date recently, I purposely left my phone in the car. I’m not a brain surgeon or a high government official, so I figured I wouldn’t be getting any calls or text message more important than the person I was having dinner with. Don’t get me started on cell phone etiquette.

It is rude, in my opinion, but judging from the number of people who do this kind of thing, a lot of people don’t think it’s rude. Similarly, people’s attention seems much more scattered. You’d like to think that on a date, the other person would only focus on you. But people are distracted and trying to do too much multitasking and going off on social tangents.

I’s say this is a sign of his character. If he does this on a date, imagine what kind of attention he will pay you when he is much more used to you. Not much.

It’s your life.

It would depend on what the text was. If it was a text from the babysitter, I’d respond in a heart beat. If it was something else that needed an answer right then, I’d respond. If it was something else, I still would have checked it (to be sure it wasn’t something important), but I would have waited to respond.

I also think it’s rude…unless he is a physician on call, in the President’s Cabinet and the US is being invaded by Venusians, or he was married before and he gave the babysitter the number because of his kids. Even so, he could say,“Excuse me, I just have to check my text to make sure my children have not set the house on fire.” Check the text, no emergency? Then, put the darn phone down, already!

If there are no kids, no Venusians and no emergency rooms involved….a person should leave their phone in their car or turned off completely during a date.

Is he that into you? What do you think? I just think you may want to consider whether you want to be that “into” him. I feel it was just inconsiderate.

I’d like to hope for the best and assume that he’s just sort of clueless and maybe no one has ever asked or expected better behavior from him. So if you decide on a 2nd date, when you get together, why not make a point of pulling out your phone and saying, “Let’s only pay attention to each other tonight,” and turn yours off.

If he has a problem doing the same thing, there’s your answer.

Start as you mean to go on. :)

Perhaps you really answered your own question in the asking of it.

Depends on the person. As has already been pointed out, some people are just too addicted to their phones, and they probably don’t realise they’re checking them. Or they just don’t realise some people think it’s rude and they think that everyone does it. I think @netgrrl ‘s answer about asking him to turn the phone off while he’s with you is a brilliant one.

Did you turn your phone off, too?

How many times did he do it?

I don’t think one text message qualifies him as a rude, non-interested dickbag.

You could, to check his reaction, send him a text, asking him if he wants to continue the conversation via texts.
He might laugh and say: “Ah, sorry, i didn’t think of turning the thing off when we entered the restaurant.”
Or: “Shhtt, let me just read and answer this text, jeez”
Or something else, but you know then how he thinks about it.

If you like each other enough for a second date – other than the text thingy – why not ask him at the beginning of the date to turn his phone off and see what his reaction is? That would be better than trying to guess what it meant.

If you are on a date with someone neither of you should be answering your phones whether it is a call or text unless it is a family emergency. Apart from emergencies there is no reason to be touching your phone.
From my experience first hand of guys doing that while on a date with me I find it rude and I feel like i’m being ignored. It actually really puts me off a guy.
If he doesn’t answer his phone then he is deffinatly in my good book (not like I really have one).

How do you know if it’s an emergency or not, without looking at the text?

@downtide you could always have particular people on your contact list have a different tune/ring tone that everyone else.