Emotional meltdowns: necessary relase or lack of self-control?

Necessary release of self-control.

I don’t have emotional meltdowns, but if I did, I would describe them as such.

Nothing wrong with venting. Controlled venting.

Emotional meltdowns = lack of self-control

I withdraw into myself. I close myself off from everyone and deal with my stress internally.

I view it as over the top hysterics.
One can find other ways to release stress.I used to have a punching bag until I broke it snickers

I think “lack of self-control” has entirely too negative a connotation. I read @ChazMaz‘s answer and I was a little bit miffed [edit: I forgot to add that I’d thought about it and wasn’t miffed because so many people without panic disorders really truly understand what that entails]. People with panic disorders, like me, have worse than meltdowns… panic attacks are entirely altogether a different beast. Now, if an emotional meltdown is a lack of self-control, what is a panic attack? It sounds very negative, even though it’s not something that can be helped.

For me, an emotional meltdown is a necessary release. And, if all I have is a meltdown, I consider it a personal success that I kept it from being a panic attack, which demonstrates self-control for me.

How’s that for a wrench in the gears?

Do you want a politically correct answer? Or tell it like it like it is. :-)

If you, for any reason, loose control. There is a reason. In your case you have a panic disorder/ panic attack. That disorder is causing you lack of control.

Still lack of control, if you can control it and decide not to or you physically just cant.

Don’t get me wrong. I believe that there is some “normalcy” to just letting go. Sometimes, and I mean SOMETIMES, we just have to jump up and down.

“which demonstrates self-control for me.”
I don’t see that example as a form of self control, but buying time to get over it.

I have experienced the very same such meltdowns. Some of them very ugly.

What I’ve learned over the years is that if I take some time to regularly decompress (read, nap, listen to music) and make a habit of addressing issues as they appear (as opposed to sweeping them under the rug), these meltdowns happen much less frequently or not all.

If I do have one, it’s a sure sign I haven’t been taking care of myself.

@ChazMaz: I edited my response above. You don’t see it as self-control because you’ve never had a panic disorder, where even the tiniest thing can trigger a panic attack out of nowhere. There’s nothing we can do to control them, and often, we don’t really see them coming. So for someone with a PD to lose it, but not have a panic attack, that takes effort.

Stress isn’t a thing in and of itself—it’s how we react and deal with a particular situation—and that’s different for everybody. For example, the death of a beloved pet may drive one person to an emotional breakdown (I saw this happen recently to one of my co-workers), yet another person might express his/her sadness more quietly and use it as an opportunity to adopt a stray to take its place. Over the years I’ve learned about myself that when I’m in a stressful place, it’s better for me to distance myself from people. I’m a manager, so that’s not always easy or advisable to do, but people who know me well generally allow me that luxury.

We all have emotions. How we act out is a matter of choice. I think people who engage in high drama, yelling, cursing etc as they act out are very annoying. My ex wife did this, and targeted me when she acted out. I hated it. She is my ex wife.

My ex was the same way. Way too much drama, to get attention to HER issues and to end the conversation.
Not my idea of communicating or communicating a point.

@ChazMaz & @josie: I totally understand and agree with what you’re saying. In fact, when I’m panicking, I make it a point to find somewhere to be alone until I’m calm. People have tried to help me and I tell them to go away, specifically because I don’t want it to be seen as drama or a quick way out of the conversation. Does that make any sense?

Necessary stress release. We all act differently to very stressful situations. I feel a good cry makes me feel so much better. I literally feel the stress release through my tears. There was a time when my husband thought I did it for attention, then I told him that it is just how I deal with stress. He withdraws, I cry. We are different, that’s all. He now knows to just give me a big hug then let me be until the tears are gone.

To me, it’s hysteria and histrionics. Which may be better than when I become depressed and/or nervous which are not helpful either.

No, they’re not a necessary release, you just fall into the same pattern as always because it makes you feel good. To me, these kinds of meltdowns are something to stay away from and not to get into. I control this.

Not a bad thing as long as you go out into the woods and emote alone.

I often lose the plot when something terrible happens I can do nothing about , inwardly though I’m in bits but on the outside my demeanour is calm, I rage in private so as not to upset anyone, I tend not to sweat the small stuff though…… My Sister will cry if she breaks a nail! :-/

Emotional breakdowns are caused by a build up of stress, and continually ignoring or suppressing that stress. You end up boiling over, even if it is something minor. I have high anxiety and a lot of the time I end up suppressing it or not dealing with it openly. Many times you may think you are being strong by not talking about it or just giving yourself time to deal with it, but in reality you are causing an unhealthy build up. Finally you just go boom, trust me I know. So while it is healthy to finally let that bubbling up stress release you should not let it get to a boiling point, and rather deal with it as it comes and not let it pile up.

@Trance24: Almost exactly my experience.

@cprevite Yea thats how I am, I have been getting somewhat better though.

Better than a heart attack or another stress related illness.

I say it’s okay, just don’t take it out on anybody; it’s not their fault. I have a psychiatric disorder that makes me very emotional, at times. My wife knows it’s not about her, so she just allows me time to myself and she never criticizes me because of it. People are so insensitive to the emotional states of others. Proof is above.

If someone thinks you are overreacting, fuck ‘em. They do not live in your body, nor do they know your feelings. You don’t have to live according to others’ opinions.

@tinyfaery: as always, you have said what I wanted to and didn’t.

^^agree

@tinyfaery: ”Better than a heart attack or another stress related illness.”

Absolutely – I’ve been down that road too. I was so stressed once and bottled so much up, I thought I was having a heart attack. The folks at the hospital thought so too so I was admitted for three days for observation. Turns out it was stress.

The term “meltdown” implies a loss of control, so I’m going with that.

How is it necessary to lash out at other people? I agree that it’s necessary to release your anger/stress/etc., but screaming and yelling is hardly “necessary.” There are many, many other ways to deal with problems. Not all of them good or constructive, but certainly not always a meltdown. To me, a meltdown by definition is a loss of control over yourself.

No matter what happened to me I looked fine and I acted fine. A lack of emotion was paramount to me after seeing anger out of control as a kid. But the truth is I needed to cry, scream and break a few things. Crap, there were a couple of guys I needed to go and beat the crap out of. They deserved it that much. But I didn’t. I went on with my life thinking I was doing the right thing. In reality it was maladaptive and extremely damaging.

Twelve years into therapy and I still struggle with getting angry.

It is not really that you get angry, it is what you do with that anger.

I have a meltdown from time to time. Not often. Just when I really, really need to. Generally, it’s directed at my husband. He is the most laid back person I’ve ever met. I really feel bad after I’ve lashed out at him. I’ve seen him cut loose one time in our almost 12 years of marriage and that was when his mom died.

Repeat after me…“Goose-Fra-Bah”....“Goose-Fra-Bah”

Both. Humans can’t be in control of themselves all the time. I think the healthier way of life is the more intuitive one. Where you don’t have to constantly worry about your actions and your appearance. If someone has emotions that cause them to breakdown, it would probably be best for them to release control and breakdown for a time. The idea is not to get to the point where you need to breakdown in a destructive way.

Lack of self-control. If you’re adequate to utilize syllogism for your offsprings during your emotional meltdowns, then unequivocally the tantamount reasoning can be exerted to thwart & combat emotional meltdowns as well, thus sparing yourself & husband.

I don’t like it, but I do it sometimes, too. Like @poofandmook, if I can avoid a panic attack and only have a bit of a meltdown, I consider that to be a success. I’d still rather not do it at all, though.

I think they’re necessary. Whether it’s a crying fit, yelling, sobbing, or withdrawing…do what you need to do to just release that bad energy.