When did you decide to try to be a good person?

I was born that way ;)

Pretty much after I left the house at 18 and joined the military.

Throughout my life I have tried to better myself though at my core, I am a sucker for helping people.

When I figured out if you’re an a**hole you end up hanging with other a**holes and they tend to be lousy people to be around.

@Adirondackwannabe Yes that too. You will be come like the people you hang out with.

Quite young I had a great fear of “being bad,” which to me meant behaving or doing or saying anything somebody else thought was bad or wrong. It’s a fear I’ve borne my entire life—at work, with S.O.s, with family and friends. It took me many, many years to realize there’s no way not to sometimes do or say things that other people consider bad or wrong), and that all I can do is try to do what I think is right. And that’s what I do. Wait! Isn’t that the definition of being a grown-up?

I went through a lot in my early twenties (and before that even). I knew what it felt like to struggle and had great empathy for others then. I got it..

I continue to be that way. I’ll treat you with respect and help you out. If you’re an asshole, forget it.

My Grandma always said (to me) “you’re made of good stuff”.

@Blackberry What made you decide to join the military?

@Austinlad That’s very interesting – that your wanting-to-be-good has been predicated on not-wanting-to-be-bad. I wonder if that’s true for many others – or, rather, I wonder about the degree to which that contributes to most peoples’ wanting-to-be-good, since I’m sure it’s a contributory factor for nearly all of us. Great point, thank you!

comes naturally to me.

First of all, hi, @wildpotato. I’ve missed you.

Being a good person is all a matter of perspective. This guy you mention might be a total asshole to someone else in his life. And while you think he’s a good person, others might think the exact opposite.

I know a great guy who is one of the best people I know, just as long as you don’t date him. He’s a nightmare for women.

Personally, I’ve been trying to not be my parents since the moment I realized they were not nice people; maybe around age 5, or so. Since then I’ve tried to treat others well, not maliciously lie, and I try to do as much as I can for the least fortunate and the greatly damaged.

I’m sure there are people who think I’m a total asshole, right here on fluther even, but there are those out there who have thanked me for all I have done for them.

Again, it’s all a matter of perspective.

The more I’ve gone through, the more compassionate I’ve become. I’ve learned that if I want to be treated with respect, compassions, etc, then I need to live that way myself. So, in essence, it starts with me giving those things to myself and then it’s only natural to feel that way towards others.
I also agree with @tinyfaery

yesterday, today and tomorrow.

I will keep on trying.
Sometimes succeeding, on occasion failing, but never fail in trying, overall

@wildpotato I didn’t think it out very much, I didn’t have a plan after high school, the recruiter asked me what I was doing after high school. I knew I wasn’t doing anything, so I said ‘Meh, what the hell, sure….’..........

I think that sometime during my high school years I became consciously aware that I wanted to be good and do good. In middle, I became aware, gradually, that one could make a choice. Before that, I thought I was good, and it was others around me (particularly my mother) who just had the wrong idea when they said I wasn’t good.

I grew up without religion and in a community that was far to the left of most of the country. Even so, when I left the community to go to work in the real world, and even though I went to a pretty liberal place (New York City), I was still kind of shocked when I found out that people didn’t all agree. Some had bad thoughts, which made them bad people in my book.

I have, for what seems like always, tried to be a good person, but I have often failed. Sometimes I took that failure more to heart than other times. At the worst times, my failure relieved me of my right to live, in my opinion. At other times I struggle mightily to reconcile the things I do and want to do with the very real possibility that they might hurt people I care about very much.

Such is life.

I never really actively thought about being a good person until being a good person started to backfire. Throughout the past couple of years, I’ve gone back and forth between deciding to be a good person and just doing what makes me feel good. I always seem to go back to my default– good person.

Pretty much every morning of my life; well maybe not during the first year.

I tried to fight it, but I never really had a choice.

I reckon I must have been born that way. From a very early age I realised that I loved being praised, it was kind of a no-brainer from then on in which path I would take.

I was raised that way, it’s a family tradition from as far back as anyone can check.

I have always tried to be a good person. Being a “decent person” was actually the only guide rule I really had. I recently learned in a very harsh way that being a ‘decent person’ might also mean having the courage to go the distance for a belief. I don’t know whether I have really learned that, or like Janis Joplin, now have nothing left to lose.

Plenty of people are brought up to a high standard of morals and virtue, and being good has always been held up as their goal and ideal. I’m not sure where you place this scenario in your paths. It might have always been implicit and explicit, but I never knew anyone who didn’t have to work at it, strive for it, reflect on it, and self-correct.

When I was taught as a kid the differences between “good” and “bad” behaviors by my grandparents. They would tell me exactly why they believed something was bad though, who it would impact and so it seemed easy for me to learn. I saw how well people talked and thought of my grandfather and I wanted to be like him.

For as long as I can remember I’ve had an imperative to be a good person in all the roles I’ve had throughout my life. The few times I’ve done anything that has gone against that imperative I’ve felt it keenly and I can still recall it today.

This is a constantly changing thing. I have 2 moments:

I had always (that I can remember) run by the golden/platinum rule and enjoyed charity work. But I didn’t develop my personality or opinions of things during the years leading up through high school and I was very often an angry person. After high school graduation, I decided to let go of my anger and violence and try to be a calmer person. I also wanted to define my personality. Going to college and moving out was my first changing point. I realized what I wanted and was taking steps towards it.

After college finished, I had developed a understanding of who I was and what I felt about the world. I had prevented my anger from getting the best of me in a number of situations and had learned to get over it relatively quickly. However, during that time, I learned that I was too empathetic and it was creating a drain on me. I also hadn’t done any charity work because “I was busy,” which is only half true. Graduating college left me with the goal of controlling my emotional input into friendships, knowing when to step back from a dramatic situation, and volunteering again since I did enjoy it so much back in high school.

I also went through a similar thing in life, but i can’t remember when exactly it happened (probably piece by piece, haha), or what started it. But i’m glad i’ve changed. Although there’s still room for more improvement and i know this, but…..baby steps! :)

When I was 26.