How do you feel when you lose your dignity?

Can you give a specific example or two when you’ve felt that way? The one about you and Amber isn’t clear…at least for me. Thanks!

I think you may be confusing humiliation and being unlucky in love. Humiliation or losing my dignity I can usually get over by a good sulk and a talking to – remember, no-one is looking at you as closely as you are looking at yourself. If a love-object rejects me, that is a whole different feeling and may well take weeks to get over. Again, though, you have to talk to yourself and keep moving. Wallow for a while and then go out with friends and try to distract yourself.

Bravo, @janbb. This will be a hard reply to top!

Not sure how to answer that…I am afraid to ask what did you to lose your dignity?? I can only remember one time when I felt that way and to fix things, I stuck my tongue out, flipped them off and kissed my bicep. ;)

Exactly how i felt coming out of “Justice” (being the operative word) Court this week after fighting a traffic ticket. Too long of story to tell this morning…got rat killing to do, but it was not a very good feeling. There is no justice in “Justice” Court, in my humble opinion! You feel like a criminal. Just a couple of things. After the judge made his ruling, he advised me that he could send to jail for 10 days in this state. Say what! Also, told me to not to wear shorts the next time. I wish you could have seen some of the outfits in that court. My golf shirt, shorts, and sneakers looked a tuxedo compared to some of the stuff there. Bottomline, the judge thought a lot of himself.

Satisfied—uh,I mean humiliated and shamed—

When I lose my dignity, I usually try to laugh about it.

I must admit I am also confused by your referencing a relationship going south with losing your dignity.

I backed off a dock, fully dressed for an evening at a restaurant we were going to by boat. The whole family was on hand; the water was warm and only 5’ deep. I thought it was funny. They did also. It was undignified but engendered no other emotions. My clothes dripped dry as did my hair.

Having troubles with a relationship does not equate to dignity. (That’s an internal attitude.)

@Vincent_Lloyd, you’re simply about to be disappointed in love. ”Dignity is a term used in moral, ethical, and political discussions to signify that a being has an innate right to respect and ethical treatment.”

I was going to give you an example of what losing your dignity looks like from my own life, but I decided not to. I don’t need to do that to myself.

hungover

About the same! :-/
What’s dignity anyway???

I feel undignified—like everyone will laugh at me and think that I’m a loser. Of course, having come to accept that as the case, it doesn’t bother me any more. And oddly, once you decide you are a loser, everyone keeps trying to tell you otherwise. As they say, you can’t win for losing. Or do they mean you can win for losing?

Go ahead. Laugh! Make my day!

@cockswain

yep! :-/

Lose what?

@BoBo1946: “got rat killing to do.”
Bastard!

Sometimes the ending of a relationship can lead you to question yourself and what you could have done to make things better (I am assuming that this is what is causing you to feel as if you’ve lost your dignity) However, dignity is something that you hold within yourself- not something that comes and goes with the whims of someone else. But you have to be the one to choose to hold onto your own self worth. I wish you luck with your journey.

To answer your questions: I tend to take a few days to reflect (either through art or writing) and then I talk to friends and try to regain my balance. Just give yourself time to recover, and don’t be so hard on yourself. Relationships often end just cause it’s time to move onto a different phase in life (especially at the age of 13) Take care….

oh, and sorry if my assumptions about the dynamics of your relationship with Amber are wrong. You never said anything about it ending

Undignified

It took me until I was 40 years old to stop worrying about my precious dignity. Life has been a lot easier since.

like shit plain and simple.. words can’t really describe.
the worst is when you ignore people who try to give you warnings on this for months and then when you finally see it all come crashing down yourself, it’s just unexplainable.

when you have high hopes and put a lot of faith into a person you think the world of, this tends to happen.

@wundayatta don’t let anyone ever try and tell you who YOU are. You know, deep within yourself the truth and that is all that matters. be proud of who you are.

@everyone Sorry if the detail about Amber hasn’t really been clear in the description…Just that…She’s been lying to me most of the time…I have to think “it’s time for me to face the truth” So it was all just a lie…She doesn’t like me so she lied to protect my feelings instead of me. It was not only her but my friends too…I can’t look at them the same, same with Amber too. It feels like I’m not here anymore. I’ve been lied to my entire life and with the one person I actually like, She says she does then turns around and hits me full on. Make me think how my life will be later on..

@Jeruba I feel the same.

@Robot No one could ever tell me who to be. I was myself whether I wanted to be or not. I was rarely proud of myself because I was raised to believe that I could never be good enough. Never. Lately I’ve been learning to lower my standards a bit, and that allows me to say that I am proud of some things I’ve done or am doing. But don’t push it. I have a knee-jerk reaction of pulling back into the safety of always thinking I am worse than it is possible to be. It’s not a fun place to be, and my sense that I’m ok is very fragile at times.

When I trip over something and other people are looking, I feel really clumsy, but I get over it fairly quickly. When I use a word in the wrong place, or misunderstand what some one says, I can hardly face them the next day, because I hate being wrong.

Once upon a winter’s day, my little 73 bug delivered me to a Denny’s. I went in, had coffee and was feeling pretty confident in my favorite vintage dress and short swing coat. And, high heels, of course…very practical in Chicago snow.

I was standing in line to pay, when a man shouted over, “Uh, I don’t wanna be smart lady, but it looks like your dress has been on fire.” I looked down and was perfectly stunned! The entire back hem looked like someone had torched it…burned, jagged edges…a lot shorter than in the front. I was young and horrified. Now, I might have laughed.

My VW had a box heater that was incredibly hot. I never had to worry about freezing like others did. Thankfully, the material on my dress was not flammable.

Now, that’s losing your dignity.

@wundayatta and @Vincent_Lloyd

keep it strong, hang in there and keep truckin. I feel the same way as you 2 many of times with different people and events more often then not.

I don’t think I’ve ever lost it

I used to agonize. Then I came to a point in my life when I realized, it was really my pride that was hurt. You know ,“Pride goeth before a fall?” Well, after that, if I started to agonize, I’d do a self check. If it was really my pride, that was hurt, I’d tell my self, “Get over it!” It really shortened and lightened the process. It was an epiphany, to come to the realization of how much pride I have.