Have you ever had difficulty maintaining perspective in your younger relationships?

enjoy the journey. it’s a long adventure. with many twists and turn.

I think you are right on course. Be patient…..

life will happen.

I didn’t make it so complicated….hehe. I met my husband when i was 18 right after school. We’ve just been together for over 12 years and got married almost 2 months ago. Things were going good in the relationship and i didn’t have thoughts about what things would be like with others, or that i wanted time to be “young and single” or anything like that.

Continue to enjoy what you have. It’s wonderful that you’re having fun and that’s what it’s all about.
Things will unfold just as they should.

Enjoy each relationship you have. You may never meet someone you feel is a “soulmate.” You may meet many people you love—and people you love deeply more than once. Take each relationship as something you put your full attention to while you are in it. That doesn’t mean you have to get married. It just means you want to get the most out of every relationship you have—whatever kind of relationship it is (although resist labeling things).

Here’s another thing: your “soulmate” may not be the best marriage partner. It is far more important to have a relationship with someone you can communicate with and solve problems with than it is to feel the magic. Frankly, magic is a dime a dozen. Workable relationships rely on hard work, not magic.

I felt like that at 16 and 17 but by 18 then I was already favoring giving attention to serious relationship minded men rather than funtime dates. As much as I tried to “just have fun”, I found it a draining, frustrating and yes it felt like a waste of time even though I didn’t know what I was waiting for so I kept on goofing off.

I found the path to finding myself much more rewarding! :-/
if there’s a soul mate out there!? great! so long as she only comes over when she’s invited we may last the distance.. Lol :-/

Good hunting! ;-)

Geez…Well since I’m still young I think it’s best to either enjoy what you have while it lasts with the person you got in your arms. Or, you can not date at all to avoid pain in the heart and feeling depression for a while. But I wouldn’t say throw my soul mate away. If it wasn’t working out so well or if things got out of hand like you said with thinking that they were married I would let them down gently and slowly without the pain. I’m too…of a softy I guess to cause pain in another life. But it’s always best to just…“Go with the flow” I always remember the saying of this: “It’s easy to fall in love, but hard to find someone to catch you.” Hope this sorta helped. =)

Relationship perspective when I was younger? Yeah, right…in some ways I was always the same about love – head over heels, full force ahead, risks…I didn’t think ‘oh this must be the person’, you know? – I always thought marriage and kids would be a later in my life kind of thing and I was wrong about that. I had a couple of passionate relationships when I was young but they didn’t last and looking back, that wasn’t really love – well, it was love then but not the love I consider love now. When I was with my first husband for a sufficient amount of time, I thought marriage would be ‘the right next step’ and because I had this ‘plan’ for my life. That was a mistake, I didn’t have enough perspective. But I do think I loved him – we just grew apart..well I grew up and he stayed stagnant and then I found wis.dm (a site like Fluther) and met all these incredible people which inspired me and I was intrigued by…I didn’t know why I was supposed to give up my intelligence to last in my marriage so I left him. From that point on, I knew better what I wanted and how to ask for it and thankfully found a partner that was my soulmate.

I wish I had your kind of relationship wisdom and insight when I was 19! I was a stupid train wreck. I think you’re way ahead of the game and your perspective is smart, rational and practical. Just enjoy the relationships you have, learn everything you can from them and when they change or end – if they do, just take the best things and move forward with them.

I for sure lost perspective! I often got caught up in the moment and wanted everything to happen right then. My life is so mild (but wonderful) now and it always makes me grin to think of how emotional and spontaneous I was when I was 19ish. I gave wholeheartedly in relationships, friendships, and in my dreams and aspirations. I often went overboard but it all worked out I s’pose. I agree with @figbash I applaud your mature perspective. I do not regret my losses of perspecitves though. I lived, and now I am wiser.

Finding your soul mate will happen when it happens. Nothing wrong with enjoying what you have, even though you know it won’t lead to something in the long term. I think women (and I am guilty of it) tend to hyper focus on the end result of marriage and forget to enjoy the dating experience.
If you do meet someone new, and you absolutely have to be with them, then I’d break up and move on.

I wish that I would of had your maturity and insight when I was your age. At eighteen I was engaged to the love of my life. I shudder now to think that I almost married that guy. Before you settle down with your soulmate someday, please experience as much of life as you possibly can. You can accomplish this by furthering your education, traveling, becoming independent, etc. Your soulmate is out there somewhere, and you will find him someday, but do it slowly and with much care.

For right now live in the moment. You said it yourself: you’re young and not looking for a soulmate yet. If you’re happy in your relationship, stick with this guy and enjoy your time together. Unfortunately you can’t fast forward life. Finding your soulmate takes patience, time, and personal growth that comes from all that you experience in life, so enjoy it!