My dog died today. How do you handle the grief and pain?

Aw… :( I know how you must feel, my kitty of 20 years passed away about 2 months ago, and my kitties are my children. There’s nothing much you can do to take the pain away, except the thought that you gave your dog the best life it could have had, and that you loved it a lot and that it knew that.
I however was not surprised at the amount of grief i’d felt (and still do), because i knew what it would be like to lose my kitties and i am really close to them and will do anything for them.
I allowed myself the time it took to feel better about it, there’s nothing you can do except wait it out, i think.
I’m so sorry for your loss.

bury him in your yard with a spade shovel. acknowledge that he is gone and wount come back. make sure where you buried him is clean. no plants growing there. go to the grave and talk to him. if you feel its necessary to then cry. this is how i got threw the death of my cat Daytona. but my neighbors dug him up. It will be alright. dont try to forget about him though. always remember and let this strengthen you.

:( went through this last year, you’ll move on. Don’t rush out and get a replacement.

i agree with mammal. dont get another dog just yet.

I’m so sorry for your loss. :-(

I lost my beloved 15 yr. old cat in May.

I have found, over the years, that the best approach to grieving is to focus on all the good and feel happy that you know in your heart that you provided your pet with the best life possible and embrace the satisfaction of that.

I also think that getting a new pet within a reasonable amount of time is a healthy action.

I adopted two new older kittens from the shelter within a moth of my Gads death.

It makes me happy to provide and share with them and bonding with the new guys is very healing.

I am so enjoying watching them blossom under my care and am having so much fun with them!

Peace to you.

my dog of 11 yrs passed this April and it still bothers me a lot. It just is going to take time. We got a new pup recently and I sometimes call her our old dogs name by mistake. I like to go to the mountains to walk and it just sucks to go there alone. Maybe should have let more time pass before getting another. My wife got worried about me moping. I’m starting to choke up now.

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how much it hurts. Eventually the pain lessens to a dull ache.

I am truly sorry, I completely understand your greif. I buried my Mitzi in the back yard near the garden and planted some lillies on her grave. Her little “buddies” were all soo confused and looked everywhere for her. Each new generation of my dogs has been taught by the older ones so there is a bit of each one held over. It gets better with time and the sorrow you feel is normal, I still tear up when I look at family photos, they were all such good puppy babies, I miss them still.

((hugs)) You gave her a good life, nature took its course, return her to the earth with love. We have two Persians almost 18 years old, I’ll likely be facing this soon. Plant a flowering bush or a tree over her.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

It is true what they say – they are man’s best friend. And I don’t mean that in a paint-your-nails-together, braid each other’s hair kind of way… they’re always there for you when you need them. No matter how long you’ve been away or how many times you’ve broken the promise to take them to the beach, they’re still so happy to see you when you walk in the door. They become closer to us than our own family, sometimes.

My husband had old Bub for 13 years. They were together through thick and thin – All told, they spent more time together in those 13 years than my husband spent with his father in almost 40. That’s no small potatoes. He played with us, protected us, defended our home from very real intruders… And to the very end, Bub had a twinkle in his eye when Jason touched him.

He’s been gone for two years now, and I still step over his place at the foot of my bed. My husband still dreams about him, and his eyes get all misty when a picture of him pops up on our screensaver.

About a week before Bub got sick, he was playing in the backyard like a puppy. He stopped and looked at us, and a butterfly landed on his back – just sat there for the longest time. After he died, and we buried him in the backyard, a Monarch landed on the fresh soil.

We call them “Bub-erflies” now. And there’s almost always one around when we’re feeling blue. I don’t believe in much mysticism, but it does always make me a little happier to see a Bub-erfly.

I’m so sorry. This is just going to hurt for a while. I feel for you. Hang in there.

I’m so sorry. Take time and allow yourself to grieve.

It’s OK to feel all the sadness and to let the sensations go through you. Don’t suppress them. I’m so sorry for your loss. :(

I’m glad for both your sakes that it was peaceful.

Oh, @DarlingRhadamanthus, I am so, so sorry. He sounded like a neat little guy. I do understand your pain. Years back I had to put my beloved Persian cat Elvira to sleep because she had cancer. To this day I feel guilty about that. She was a gift from my folks when I was living in New York. They had her flown to me all the way Fort Worth because they knew I was lonely and thought the cat would be comforting. She was, for many years. Her name Elvira came from the play “Blithe Spirit” about a free-spirited ghost named Elvira. I’m glad you shared your loss with us because I know many of us have gone through the same thing.

dont look at photos of him

@DarlingRhadamanthus , I’m so sorry for your loss.
Your grief is very fresh and real right now, you have lost your best friend.
Don’t try to suppress your sorrow, let it come and let it out.
Take care of her body as you need to, with some ceremony and respect as you feel is fitting. She was a friend, a companion, a gift in your life. Your hurting will ease, your memories will remain.
We are here with you and I feel blessed that you have come to us in your time of need.
{hugs for you.}

I am so sorry for your loss. It is as if a family member died. I know how it rips your heart out. I am crying right now as I type this.

About the only thing you can do to shorten the grieving period is to wait a few weeks and then get another dog. It does not in any way replace the dog you lost, but the unconditional love of another dog fills the emptiness in your heart.

@DarlingRhadamanthus I cried reading what you wrote and it stirred up the loss of first search dog Zach. These are not easy things to get through. There are some great pet loss websites, but this touched me when I was where you are . . .

The one best place to bury a good dog is in the heart of his master.
—Ben Hur Lampman

I feel for you.

I made this image, wrote this poem a few years ago for a friend. I hope it helps. It says all I can say about this.

Rainbow Bridge

Oh I know how much it hurts, and may for a long, long time. Bury her at home somewhere she loved to sit in the sun, somewhere she’d like to be. Visit her and talk to her. Leave dog treats and flowers on her grave sometimes. Make a photo tribute on flickr if you have pictures of her. Write poetry about her.

And when you are read a new critter will somehow find you.

My Jacky always guarded the back door by the cat door against marauding stray cats. So I buried him there so he could keep guard always, we had a little service for him, buried his ashes with his collar, some of his toys, and rose petals. During the service we read “the thousand names of Jacky” [all the nicknames a loved pet gets for doing this or acting like that or just for being loved]. His sister was briefly at the service, but she didn’t understand.

I remained inconsolable so I started a tribute to JackyJilly’s lives together and a memorial to him on flickr [they had been photographed often] and that gave me something bittersweet to do for a long time. I wrote poetry about him and them.

I still get sad happiness from looking at the photos on flickr and remembering. I am lucky I have Jilly and she me. We comfort each other in our loss.

I’m sorry for your loss. Take some time to mourn her and maybe spend some time sharing memories of her with your family. I agree with the others that you shouldn’t rush into getting another one anytime soon. I hope you are feeling better soon.

Cry and think and talk.

{{hugs}}
Ok, you’ve got me crying! What a special person you were to your beloved little girl. You were both lucky to have each other and she knows just how much you love her. I went through this 2 years ago and I still can’t think of the day my beloved Lexi died without crying.
Grieve in your own time, you deserve to feel all your emotions and to cry all you want.

I do feel your pain. Give yourselt some time and then adopt a puppy from PAWS or the SPCA. My 10 year old cat (my fluther picture) disapeared on March 27, 2010. I had no idea that I loved the little guy quite so much until he was gone. I’ve done all of the recommended things to try to recover him to no avail. He had a collar with phone number and other information but I beat myself up for not having an I.D. chip put in him and doing more to protect him. I’ll always wonder what became of him. Did he get trapped in a building somewhere and suffer and die slowly or did the coyotes get him? Perhaps he jumped into the back of a moving van heading for Arizona and is now chasing lizards among the cacti? Maybe he will just show up some time in the future? Or not.

Try to relax and take care of yourself. Good health!

I once had a cat I’d raised since he was a kitten and came with me when I left home very young so I was very attached. When he was diagnosed with feline leukemia after becoming sick again and again then I had to put him down in order he not suffer anymore. I felt heartbroken to see his suffering, I felt sad to know I wouldn’t have him anymore, I felt lonely imgaining the apt. empty without him to follow me everywhere and welcome me home. Mostly I felt angry I couldn’t help him and that he lived such a short life and I didn’t want to have pets every again and feel all that helpless kind of hurt. It took about 15yrs but I did come around to wanting another pet.

Let yourself feel the hurt and go through all the emotions keeping in mind they will even out in whatever amount of time it takes. Some people are better if they go and get another pet right away but others need to take their time and work through the fear of attachment. I’m so sorry for your loss though.

@gondwanalon

I know how that feels. I lost my 12 yr. old kitty 4 years ago when I moved to my new home.

I did everything right, keeping her confined while she adjusted over about a months period.

She was doing well, going in and out, and then, one day she just disappeared.

I was heartbroken and it took me two years to give up hope that maybe she’d be back.

Same thing, all the angst of not knowing. Did she too get nabbed by a coyote, get lost in the woods, find some new place to get food? She was very shy and timid so it made it even worse knowing she might not allow anyone to appraoch her.

I still do a double take on my road if I catch a glimpse of a black and white cat. So sad to never know. :-(

Losing ANY type of pet that you are close to can be very hard. I had a female orange tabby that was 18 years old that passed away 2 years ago. She had cancer and was slowly dying. I had to take her on a 30 mile drive to the nearest vet and they put her asleep. That was the longest 40 minute drive of my life.

I also had a large grey male tabby as well that died only a few months after the girl cat died. He seemed healthy but he had a stroke and I found him dead coming home from work. That one caught me off guard. He was only less than 10 years old. I finally got another kitten (unexpectedly) after finding it living in my yard. First pet I had after 2 years.

once again sorry for your loss, be strong, much love….

Oh Coloma, how sad. I ber you still hope. . .
Yes, even harder not to know.

Dear @DarlingRhadamanthus I grieve for your loss. I have experienced it many times since I got my first dog in 1963. Dogs( and for other people, cats) become part of our lives. They create a space in our lives and homes that only having such a pet can fill. Your grieving takes time and you should honour the memory of your pet in any way that suits you.

I have learned a tough truth that others may not understand. The only thing that fills the space in your life and home that your dog has filled is another dog.

When you are ready, take on a dog that needs love and protection and who will give you unconditional love as dogs always extend to their human companions.

Your local SPCA or humane society has dogs waiting for their forever homes. Take your time to choose one that will be comfortable with your lifestyle so you two can bond more easily.

When my 17 year old Shetland Sheep dog (Robbie) died peacefully of old age. I started a mourning process that is not yet complete. Our other dog, Walker was lonely and depressed even though they were never much alike in interests and preferences.

A few months later we rescued a puppy who was unwanted and neglected by the human owner of the mother (bitch). We adopted her and although she is a fireball of playful energy, Walker has accepted Mocha as a companion. Although she is a little wild and crazy, she is very smart and very dedicated to us. I still miss Robbie, but our home has its balance restored and we are much happier than we were after our loss.

We learn to honour the lives and friendship of our dogs and we go on to care for another dog. This acknowledges our ongoing appreciation for the place they have in our lives. You’ll see.

I’m so sorry, girlie. {hugs}

Tears are streaming down my face as I read this and that is Very unusual for me, @DarlingRhadamanthus . As corny as it sounds, I Have to believe that your pet is in Pet Heaven somewhere running and happy. Go ahead and cry ; it’ll make you feel better.
We had a Springer Spaniel I loved; he had been poisoned and found dead next to the road in the winter of colorado trying to make it back to our house. I am so sorry. I just saw this post. A.

Yes, all sad..BUT….what do all these sharings REALLY mean?

That we are all caring, loving and nurturing humans, in other words we have HEART!

Sooo…..three cheers for our awesome hearts! ;-)

@anartist

Yes, my poor little Sipsey. She would have been 16 this year, most likely she is gone now, where ever and whatever became of her. I have never lost a pet like that before :-(

When my pets died, I tried to hold onto their memories by collecting photos I had taken of them or with them, toys, etc. The pain you feel will go way over time but if you miss them, at least you’ll have something to look at in the future.

I’m so sorry :( I’ve never owned a pet, but this short film gets me every time. I think it captures the emotions very well. The pet is there with you unconditionally. Everything changes, your life can be chaos around you, but your dog is always there, loving you, being the same old lovable creature. They might make you angry, annoyed, frustrated, but they also make you smile, comfort you, play with you, love you. All kinds of emotions and memories… but everyone faces the inevitable loss. This quote from The Razor’s Edge helps me keep these kind of things in perspective:

“Nothing in the world is permanent, and we’re foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we’re still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it.”
You enjoyed your dog while she lived, and that’s all you can really ask for :)

@DarlingRhadamanthus I’m so sorry honey, I so wish I could take the pain away for you. I had my fur babies cremated and still have their little caskets. When I go they will be cremated with me and our ashes will be scattered together, that way we will always be together. The pain never goes away sweetheart, but it does get a little easier as time passes. You loved your little angel, and she loved you right back, no one can take that away, not ever. I so wish I was with you so I could hug you in person. Be kind to yourself honey, cry as much as you need to, and keep her little toys and things, you’ll regret it if you don’t. Maybe organise a little pretty box to keep her things in, then when you miss her, you’ll still have them. Somehow having things you can touch helps, just like keeping your photographs. Keeping you close in my thoughts, and sending you mountains of love and hugs honey, I’m so sorry this has happened xx
edit: I know that you won’t be able to bear the idea of adopting another fur baby now, but someday, when you are stronger, maybe you can give a good home to another angel. You have such a huge heart full of love honey, and there are so many babies out there desperate for someone to love them, and as you know they give you their whole wee heart and soul back. It would help you too. <hugs honey> xx

When I left home for uni, I couldn’t take my cat Jolie with me. I came back just for the summer after my freshman year, and discovered I was horribly allergic to her. It made me so sad. There was nothing available to treat it. I don’t know how it developed, either. It meant, however that I couldn’t take her back to school as I’d planned, and she remained with my former guardian for the rest of her life. Got a photo, though, of her in a laundry basket, at only a moment’s pause before she went to play in a cardboard box. Framed it and put it on my desk. It’s on my desk right now.

Jolie died at 17 of feline leukemia on 31 December 1999. She only really went downhill in her last two days. She stopped eating the day before. I was told that it was peaceful and she was in her basket that had all her favourite toys and fluffy pillows. I take comfort in that she was in a place she liked to be and not frightened in a hospital.

Your love for your little dog opened up something inside you, opened it all the way. Now you know the measure of that space because it is filled with grief. What a great gift she gave you, removing every barrier.

Back in the sixties I had a poster on my wall that said this:

Only a heart that is open can be filled with sadness. Only a heart that is filled with sadness can be emptied of sadness. Only a heart that is emptied of sadness can be filled with joy.

I don’t know whether that’s true, but it has given me comfort many times when nothing else could.

Let yourself experience your sorrow. Don’t fight it. It will pass in time. I don’t promise a rainbow, but relief will come.

To inject a bit of light heartedness in the midst of a sad time, I just was out in my garage and my new cats ‘Mia & Gizzi ’ are playng with a lizard.

Gizzi wants Mias catch and he is circling and tapping the lizard which runs between her paws. She smacks him on the nose. It’s HER lizard! lol

( Gong to see if I can rescue it now.)

My POINT?

LOVE is abundant….after some healing time, spread the love around with a new friend ( or two ) again! ;-)

(Please take a look at my avatar…this is my sweetheart…taken in May of 2010.)

Forgive me if I sound trite….. But I am so deeply touched by all the beautiful things you wrote. I felt like it was one big hug. And…you cannot imagine how much I needed that. Everything you shared was just what I needed to hear. It’s almost midnight here and I still feel so empty and sad. The house is so quiet…with wooden and tile floors there was always a tapping on the floors beside me, or a little scuffle to let me know it was time for me to let her out. You don’t know how noisy your house is…until it is empty.

I went this afternoon to see her. They kept the body for me to see. They brought her out in a blanket. She still had her eyes half-open. That’s how she used to sleep. She looked like she was just sleeping. I touched her and like a madwoman, I told her to wake up. I kept telling her to please, please wake up. She looked like she was ready to just bounce right back up. But it wasn’t going to happen. She had gone on to run and play somewhere else.

I just buried myself in her fur and I sobbed and sobbed. I took my tears and put them into her eyes. I took her tears and put them in mine. I kissed her tiny head and thanked her over and over. I kept stroking her and just wishing that I could turn back the clock. I had walked around my garden, picking flowers….primroses, lavender and a feather from her friends, the birds. She would always sit and watch them. I made the into a bouquet. I placed it in between her paws. I knew she was not there, it is just an empty shell now, but I went through the motions because I had to. I just had to…have some closure. To see that she wasn’t there. That she was, indeed gone. I was so glad it was a Sunday afternoon, and the hospital is closed to the public. I was able to cry without feeling like I had to be quiet. There was no one there. I read some hymns to her, hymns that I had read to her when she had been ill before. She would sit and look at me when I read or when anyone read to her. It was the most uncanny thing. She was just such a bright spark in my life. I miss her so much. So much. I was so fortunate to have had her in my life.

All of you have given me such comfort. Your tears and your sharing made my loss helped so much. I am going to respond to you individually.

All the brightest blessings to you, Jellies…to the love you have sent my way. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

How beautiful all of you are….honestly. If the world was full of jellie love…there would be a lot of rescued dogs, and a lot more peace.

@DarlingRhadamanthus

What an alert and sharp little thing she was!

I can see she was a handful or zany zippiness! lol

She just sparkles with energy!

I know, I know…I can still see my Gadwicke with his beautiful little face tucked between his paws the day he passed.

@Jeruba Your quote reminds me of this poem.

I am very sorry she is gone from you here. Can you bury her near your cottage. If not do not worry she is with you. You must let yourself cry. I can not really say one reason why I cry at the loss of my closest animals. Every single emotion I think. From sad to happy as I think suddenly of them. And the tears just come. Your dog will send you another when she thinks you are ready. I am glad you were able to talk to her alot before she left and you made it easier for her.
I just saw your note after seeing your little one:
I am so glad you got to hug her after she was gone, It is wonderful for us to be able to hug the wonderful package the soul resided in.
I am sending a huge hug to both of you..

Dogs are cute and lovable, they are easy to get attached to, and it is tough when they die. But of course they do. I would get another dog.

What a cutie she was, @DarlingRhadamanthus! ::(((((((hugs)))))))::

@DarlingRhadamanthus I am sooo, sooo, sorry. I lost my 15 year old dog, Snuffy, in 1996. The pain is racking…..only time can heal you. But I still think of her, wish there was some way she could have lived forever….it was one of the worst days of my life. It really was. I took her to the vet wrapped in a Power Rangers sheet. I don’t know why that seemed important at the time. Maybe because it was a clean sheet, one I used on the kid’s bed at the time. It wasn’t a throw away, old sheet. I was with her when she went to sleep. They offered me the sheet back, and I declined. I’m sure they thought I was crazy, like I gave a care….... One step at a time, Love. One step at a time…..

Dear Beautiful Jellies…...I am attempting to answer all of you personally. It may take me a day or two to get to all of you….but please know that your words of comfort meant so very, very much! It’s really late here (eight hours later than San Fran time).

(((((((((((((((((((((((hugs back to all of you))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

You Jellies are a special group.

Now, go hug and kiss your pets…and tell them how much you love them!

When you feel better, tell us some stories about your dog…..

I just tied a bandana around my dogs neck and hugged her. Told her I love her. She pushed me away “I know mom.”

I told Dakota I loved her. She just shed on me…..

We spend a LOT of time on our back deck, which is outside of our fenced in-yard. It’s open to the wild wild world and the Doggie Jail. However, Thanks to Dakota’s (probably brutal) first year, she doesn’t push boundaries, much and the boundaries for the back deck are you do not go off the back deck!!! Then, two years after we acquired Dakota we got a spaniel mix we, uh, named Dutchess, and Dakota managed to enforce The Boundaries of the Back Deck for Dutchess. Well, about an hour ago I stepped outside to smoke a cigarette…and the spaniel, Dutchess was already out there. I had neglected to bring her in the last time I went out, but there she was, laying at the top of the steps, placidly watching the world go by. When I opened the door she jumped up like she’d been shot! I praised her to no end for following the Rules of the Back Deck even when no one was around, and she was immensely proud of herself, and knew why, for a long time. :)

@DarlingRhadamanthus She was a cute little dollface. What a beautiful way to say goodbye.
And that bouquet with the bird’s feather.

Are you going to bury her ashes in that spot where she watched the birds?

Aww that’s painful to hear even for me. But I have to say I’m sorry…She must have lived a good life….The only thing I can say for you to get over the pain is to move on with it. I mean you can’t change the past. Or stop it from happening. You can only have time go forward. It’s always a good thing to cherish of what you had. And keep her in mind. But I think it’s touching to know someone loved his animal so much. I think that’s all I have to say, but to try and see through the tragedy. Again I’m sorry to hear that.

What a cutie she was, and how well you loved her.

I told Hoss I love him too. He slobbered on me. Yucky, black slobber full of the dirt he’s been digging. Oi, bulldogs.

Hugs to you. Thank you for taking the time and effort to share your home with a dog that needed you. Sounds to me like you opened up a new world for that adopted family member. You should also be happy knowing you gave of yourself when it was needed most by that very cute pooch.
Dogs are furry people I’m sorry for your loss. I’m sure that animal enjoyed every day because of you, feel better knowing that her world was better because you cared.
Sad and wonderful all at once.

I feel so badly for you. I do understand the love between pet and owner, I treat my pets like they are my children, I love them so much. In the past nine months I had all three of my dogs pass away. They were 16 and 17 years old but I was not ready. I can not speak their names or look at a photo without crying, I am told it gets better with time but right now I do not see that time coming. There is a hole in my heart and sometimes I can barely breath.

Thanks for sharing @mollydrew…Not sure when you left that response…I just revisted this today….and I still miss her (Jan 2011). So sorry to hear about your loss…that’s really painful..to lose three dogs…I couldn’t even imagine that.

(((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))

Honestly, try not to think about it as much,. Go have fun, talk with friends, go hang out, get your hair done, do things that are fn to you! Im very sorry about your dog, feel better. May she rest in peace. :-) <(”)

Oh Sweetie.
My deepest, most heart-felt condolences. I send a hug that lasts until your tears stop. Oh, what a sweet baby you loved. She knew. She loved you too. Very much. She knows that you hurt, but that you loved her enough to let her go. She will be around you forever. Every once in awhile she will send you a special sign to let you know that she is still there and that she loves you and always will – know that you will see each other again.
I seem to have a “save them” magnet imbedded in my forehead! If there is some baby that needs taken care of- they come into my life. Time goes forward and we are all getting older now. Their aging, however, is so much faster! Wow. We all have been through a great deal together. They have all been wonderful and loving companions. So as they pass, a piece of my heart goes with them. They are/were so special, as was your baby.
Feel however you want for as long as it takes. You will know when you need to get back up and keep going. It is at that time you will decide if or how you will give love again. There is never a lack of others to save and love.
A lot of people are sharing your hurt. And we’re all sending you messages of caring and love.
I had to step away when I first read your post. Tears for special babies.
But I’m ok.
You’ll get to ok.
Your baby is not hurting and is right there with you. So talk- she’ll hear. Continue to read aloud. It will be good for both of you.
Take care, Sweetie.
Reach out if you need…
Sending love. :)