Why is it that when a guy cheats on his girlfriend, the girlfriend goes after the girl he cheated on her with?

If the third person in the equation knows about the relationship she/he is about to screw up, then I can understand. They are just as guilty imo. Some women are evil and don’t care if a man is taken.

If they are lied to and don’t know that the person they are about to sleep with is in a relationship, they are definitely not the guilty party.

I see no reason to go after anyone. A relationship takes two people. If one of them is removed or removes themselves from it, it is gone. Legally I have seen successful litigation against “the other woman.” It’s interesting but winning such a suit is just about money; it does nothing to ease anyone’s pain nor does it do anything to deter extracurricular activity..

Hmm… usually I feel like the girl gets more mad at her boyfriend (at least in movies, TV, etc. I don’t have much real life experience with this).

When you get mad, the first person you blame is the one who interfered, then you realize that they were both to blame.

@jonsblond In your scenario I STILL say the boyfriend/girlfriend is more in the wrong. They choose to disregard their promises. I don’t care how cute, or flirty, or handsome or whatever someone else is, if someone made a promise to be faithful, they should stick to it. There is a lot of temptation out there, and if you can’t handle it, be honest and say you won’t make any promises.

@le_inferno Oh, yeah, they’ve got all the TV stuff on about “bitches” like it’s somehow cool. But it’s not. It’s uncool and destructive. Men get in fights over women more often than women get in fights over men. Maybe because it’s harder for men to land a woman than vise versa.

@YARNLADY I don’t know that I’d feel that way. I think my first thought would be of betrayal, which would be all on him. At least, that’s how I felt when my ex started going out on me with a chi chaka (whom I knew. She, in fact, got an ego thrill at the idea that she could “take” someone elses husband and tried to rub it in my face. I told her she could have him, and walked away. He broke up with her two weeks after I kicked him out, and tried to come home. I said no. He cried and whined. O well.)

I feel that the reason is simple:

It feels better to be a victim of some other girls evil plot to steal your perfect boyfriend, than to conclude that the relationship you were in was not as healthy as you thought it was.

The latter makes one’s self esteem a lot more vulnerable.

I’ve always thought it was because they have everything to lose with their boyfriend/girlfriend and nothing to lose with the interloper. Then when they have more time to think they get mad at the partner who cheated.

@whitenoise EGG zactly.

Because he/she blames the 3rd party for being the source of the betrayal. There is reason for anger at the 3rd party, but not to the extent that someone gets their ass kicked. Ultimately, the cheater is the culpable one, even if the 3rd party knew that the the other person was in a relationship.

@whitenoise I agree. It’s much easier to lash out and blame the third party instead of acknowledging the truth about the relationship, or the lack thereof

Going back to the TV/movie world, usually the 3rd-party-girl was oblivious to the relationship, and teams up with the girlfriend to kick the guy’s ass.

@le_inferno Now THAT makes sense!!!

you been watching “cheaters” again with that joey greco.

I think it has something to do with that biology theory that “Men can’t help it” or “Men are promiscuous by nature”. I call bullshit- if you’re over the age of three- then you know how to keep it in your pants.

Like Judge Judy, I don’t understand it. Scumbag gets off (no pun intended) while the lother woman catches all hell!

@gemiwing Thank you! But…it goes the other way too. Wait…not exactly. If she cheats on him, the guy beats both her AND the other guy up!

I’ve always thought women hold other women to a higher standard/expectation than they do men. Also, most women give other women the benefit of the doubt to know whether or not the man is attached or not even if he’s trying to lie about it. Kind of how we’re hardest on the people we love or who are closest, women feel betrayal by their crapped upon kind worse.

You guys are learning. Men suck because we can and get away with it. We need to be held to a higher level of accountability. Kick our asses more often. For any unacceptable behavior.

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. Back in the day when I worked in an industry were 98% of my customers were women after a time they get to confide in you as a man does his barkeep. The reason why they would go after the other gal and not take the guy to task is the same reason they will allow said guy to steal money from their purse, run up their credit card(s), freeload off of them, and borrow their car without asking and either wreck it or get it towed. Too many women feel they need to be in a relationship. To come home to an empty hose is worse than coming come to a house with some clod of a clown in it.

If they decided to open up a can of whoopass on him it might mean (A) the party is over and they will spit up, (B) she will have admit she picked a dud, or (C ) she will have to admit she ain’t all that to him anymore and that the other gal might be better at least in his eyes. That makes it easier to get mad at that skank her man is stepping out on because she is mad at her because she exposed the flaws in the fairy tale. So, she should be punished. If she would just go away he would see in her what he did at the beginning and everything would be right again in the land of Nod.

Larvae for you in asking such a pertinent question.