What should I do in this 'friendship' situation?

Honestly, I think do nothing. Continue to be a good friend to her. If she wants to talk to you about what’s going on in her sex life, she will.
You said that she’s not “that” girl… apparently, you need to adjust your idea of the kind of girl who has sex.

Who your friend sleeps with is absolutely none of your business. If you actually respect her as you claim, you respect her enough to believe that she knows what she’s doing, and is not an idiot who needs you to inform her of anything.

At this age – yes I can know them as, “that girl”, because you know each school has one – and actually its close to illegal here what shes done, so im putting it lightly…

Your completely right @MrItty
And its just that – i dont want to know who she’s slept with, I wanted to just know the truth and apparantly its been more than 5 guys and shes not in a relationship with any. I think im a bit over protective…meh

Rumors and brutal and rampant at that age. Unless you know it first hand…believe what you know as fact not innuendo.

Well.. definitely don’t mention you know that about her. She will be embarrassed & she won’t want to listen to you anymore.

I don’t know how close the two of you are.. but ask her to go to dinner or the movies and something and talk with her there. I would ask her if everything was okay – then you could mention that the group she is hanging out with is not exactly the group you would have picked for her. Give her sympathy and act like you are worried and want to make she’s okay. Tell her that you are there if she ever needs to talk. If she is sleeping around like that, she’s probably a little self-conscience about herself. I would just try to be a good friend and let her know how important she is to you.

@ConfusedKid You missed my point completely. I’m not questioning your use of labeling her for her sexual behavior (at least, I’m not questioning you about it). I’m suggesting you don’t put her in a box about what kind of behavior she should be participating in. Beautiful, amazing, smart, wonderful people have sex. Sexually active people can look and act, for the most part, just like people who aren’t sexually active.

If these rumors are true, you need to realize that she’s not the innocent you seem to want her to be. And if they’re not true, which is very likely, it’s none of your business until she talks to you about it.

@Cruiser
I know what your saying – really.
But her ‘group’ that she’d gone towards are completely those types of girls and well the rumour is that…
Shes been close to a guy she liked and they ‘did it’ but apparantly she’s done it with a load of other guys..
A girl (mature girl) told me this who I completely trust as she overheard a conversation Abs was having…

@Likeradar I know – i could accept her having sex. Just not with guys who – constantly ‘like’ all her pictures on facebook – ive heard the way they speak about her and ive been a bit disappointed and like you say – beautiful, smart people do have sex and she can do so much better! Thats why Im mad I guess…

Just back off, let it go and do nothing. It’s best for the situation.

It’s rumors and there is no way for you to know this for a fact. Leave it alone.

Your description in your details is a little confusing, maybe it’s just me, but if I understand what’s going on, you seem to really only have a handful of choices, maybe just three choices. You can talk to her, you can completely ignore the information you have about how she is conducting her life and continue your relationship as is or you can gracefully, hopefully, remove yourself from her life because you either don’t approve or don’t know how to handle it. Only you can decide what to do.

@ConfusedKid Is part of the issue here that she’s only interested in you as a friend? I remember being a teenager, and when I was upset at a guy’s sexual behavior, it was because it wasn’t with me, and it was easier to tell myself that the other girls just weren’t good enough for him and that he was an idiot.

@Likeradar. I’m not jealous as I’m not interested nor do I see her in that way, I just want the best for her – it’s not cause I’m just a teenager. I’ve grown up with her, had great times with her. I’m probably just being a complete idiot?

Correction – nor do I see myself with her in that sense…

I think you might continue to offer Abs your friendship unconditionally. She really needs you.

I would not tell her that you have been told this.

You could bring up why you do not think sleeping around is a good idea.

Yeh, because were moving onto college next year, I wanted to us to go to the same college so we can stay close but now I hopes she goes to one further away – like this one she was telling me about, away from her friendship group which she’s only in really because her best friend started hanging with them and everyone I’ve spoke to about it think it’s becuase of her group.
And i was going to call for her -ask her how her holidays have been and hope she might open up to me? Maybe…

@ConfusedKid
You’re going to college at 16??

@SeventhSense I’m in England – we finish high school at 16, college 16–18. Our university is after that – pretty much our equvilent to college in America if that’s where you are…

@ConfusedKid Still it is all he said she said. Abs could even be embellishing stories to be cool with the fast crowd. It’s all head games at you age and even later in your life. I would waste your energy on being angry at her or the guys who supposedly ogle over her. Let it all go and if anything be her friend like you once were. It’s her life to live not yours.

I’d say nothing if it was my friend unless they confided in me what they’ve been doing and asked my opinion or advice. The friend who told you all about what Abs has been up, I might not think so much of that one from now on.

Just because more than one person agrees that she has slept around doesn’t really mean that she has. You are the one that’s closer to her and you should trust your friend Abs to be able to confide in you. Whether or not she is sleeping around is her choice and as a good friend, you can only be supportive and comment if she chooses to let you know. Give your friend more credit than a “source” who likes to gossip. If they were her friend, they wouldn’t share that information with you even if you are close to her without her consent.

It’s just sex, but it’s High School. And it sounds like High School drama. You consider a smart ass comment to be “talk to her” thats the best thing to do. Ask her, choose to believe her or not, then decide if being friends with her is more important than calling all the rumor spreaders, liars. If someone is jealous of your special bond with this girl, they may be trying to destroy that bond, people do shit like that, for no good reason too. I can’t say whether or not she has been sleeping around, but if I were to guess, nah, I would just sound like an ass. I say stick by your friend no matter what, its a good life lesson.

Ok firstly @truecomedian “talk to her” would be a ‘smart ass comment’ because I just said above I cant just bring it up even though it would be the best thing and im getting annoyed at people on fluther thinking theyre wise when I just said I cant do this or that.
Ok so I found out some more and Abs friends were discussing what Abs had ‘said’ she’s done – so hopefully shes just trying to fit in due to the fact have her friends have apparantly also been doing these things but yeh – its her life to live and im staying out of it now…

It doesn’t sound as if you are staying out of her business after “finding out some more and Abs friends were discussing what Abs had said she’s done.” If you were really her friend, you wouldn’t stick around to hear the gossip, or you would stop the gossip by saying you want no part of it.

Somebody told me out of the blue – i wasnt sticking my nose in her business.
READ THE DESCRIPTION

When I was in High School I had a friend. He was very free sexually, where I was very anti, for lack of a better word. I was into sex but I had been made to think it was bad, contrary to how I really felt. Needless to say I missed out on a lot of make out sessions. I kick myself for that. I wish I was more like my friend and that he was more like me, that there could have been a balance. We ended up both going to our extremes and stopped being friends. I lost a good friend because I was trippin on his sexuality. I would have been better off like him cause let me tell you, being repressed sucks big time.

@ConfusedKid READ MY ANSWER: If you were really her friend, you wouldn’t stick around to hear the gossip, or you would stop the gossip by saying you want no part of it.

@chyna
Sometimes it’s not that simple. Too always walk away, or not standing up for your friend, is tough. But she may have been doing these things, these sexual things in question. In that case, you have to figure out a plan, what your gonna do. How you’re gonna play this. If her behavior really bothers you, or if it just came as a shock then just try not to act too surprised at any news. What can you do, you have your own image to worry about. You dont want to lose all your friends over this. I’m not clear, are you upset that she’s doing these things, or that people are talking about it?

@truecomedian I think it’s wrong that people are talking about it and her “friends” are listening to these rumors.
I have nothing more to add to this thread. I’ll stop following now.

@truecomedian
Im more upset shes doing these things – because I never saw her like that and shes been brought up very well so at first it shocked me and now im kinda upset and disapointed in her…

@ConfusedKid
Maybe you just never really “saw her” at all. Regardless, you are far too involved in a judgment call over this one. She may be a little promiscuous now and still be a decent girl. Only time will tell with her behavior. Return the Jennifer’s Body DVD and get another hobby.