Parents, do you often feel anxiety over your children (especially daughters) growing up so quickly?
My oldest daughter is rapidly maturing. She is 9, but already needs to wear a bra, she’s asking about shaving and makeup and is developing an older attitude. It seems like kids are growing up so much quicker than they used to. I told her she can shave when she turns 10 and wear makeup when she turns 12, because those were the ages my mother gave me as a child.
It’s so bittersweet to watch these changes. I vividly remember nursing her and changing her diapers and staying up all night when she was fussy, and now I’m watching her pick out more mature clothes and wistfully look at makeup… I like being with her to help her make the right choices about her clothing and hygiene items, but it makes me want to cry at the same time.
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I am not a mom but I can relate to raising a child. I have helped raise my sister since she was age 10 after I graduated from college. It’s really awkward to have to explain certain things to her because I’ve always seen her as my baby sister but being her sister and not her parent, I think it’s easier for me to witness the changes. I’d rather her grow up to be a capable, mature adult rather than one who clings onto their childhood for comfort.
My mother had a hard time letting me grow up and making choices on my own. She was no where as open in raising me as we are with my sister but my sister and I have a 13 year age gap. As for your daughter’s concern over hygiene and makeup, I think it’s a good thing. Asking about these things was not natural for my sister and I was very open to her about choices she’d have to make as a young adult and just basically, taking good care of herself. I remember as a young adult, my friends and I didn’t really consult our parents about the way our bodies were changing because it was embarrassing and almost taboo to talk about.
I would appreciate your daughter’s maturity and effort to try and communicate with you.
Yes, of course. Just do the best you can.
I just thank the universe that I never had girls. I’m already wondering what kind of Teen years we will have with my two youngest grandsons. their parents cannot control them at all, and often bring them over to me when they can’t stand it anymore. I have no problem with them.
I had my three oldest grandsons most of their teen years, because their working, single mother couldn’t supervise them properly. I loved having them.
Just don’t stop saying no, when you feel it’s the right answer. I never was concerned with what the other mothers were allowing their daughters to do. By high school kids were telling my daughter that if I would let her xxxxxxxxxx, the friend’s mother would too. Of course my daughter thought that was kind of embarrassing at the time, but now she is glad that I didn’t mind saying no and dealing with a sulking teen.
My daughter turns 13 this summer and I’m really excited for her. She is just at the point where I’ll let her wear makeup and we’ll have a lot of fun experimenting with it. She has developed at the exact rate and age I did. She is truly a beautiful girl, something that everyone who meets her tells her.
But I have to say I am so glad I home school her. Girls her age are giving guys blow jobs etc. and trying to outdo one another on how sleazy they can dress. They are also busy back stabbing one another. It’s crazy!
She has a nice group of friends who don’t give her a hard time about what she likes or how she looks. She is very confidant.
Yes, I have 2 children 1 boy and 1 girl… they are under 3 – BUT I seem to worry so much more and have rediculous anxiety with my daughter…? I love my son – but was so chilled with him!
Children are “developing more sooner” due to all the things around them these days! Not trying to dictate to your parenting – you sound on the ball with how you raise your child although 12..13..14 I say is too young for make up… just my opinion though. Hygene issues are great though :)
That’s terrible tranquilsea – isn’t it! Not you home schooling but that they are giving blowjobs so young!
OMG
@polkadots and tranquilsea I think that may be more media hype than fact…
Hmmm, well – maybe in a way although half the programmes on the television – don’t know where you live but here (UK) teenages of this particular age they practically brag about it :S
Read you’re a teacher.. do you not see any “she fancies him” going on?
This is something you signed on for when you became a parent and I mean that in the most loving way possible. You, as a parent, exert a greater influence on your child thank you think – there is a lot you can do to shield her from society’s targerting her for her ‘tween-ness’.
After my younger daughter “grew up” (She’s 25 now) she once told me, “Mom…I know that I screamed and yelled and stuff when you gave me “advice”—or clocked me for my behavior—, but I just thought you might want to know that I always listened…...” Pick me up off the floor!
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