What funny "lies" did your parents tell you?

My parents always told my sister they found her in the pasture under a pile of horse turds. Oddly, my sister enjoyed this story, as I recall.

My mom always told us we couldn’t eat cookie dough or cake batter because it would give us “worms”. I don’t know what kind of worms, but it just sounded horrible.

It was my grandmother—be a good girl and never play cards or smoke cigarettes. I guess these were the worst things she could think of that I might try.

My Mom used to tell me and my brothers that if we didn’t finish all the rice in our rice bowls, we would end up with wives with ugly, blemished faces. Well, I did leave bits of rice behind in my bowl occasionally, but I ended up marrying a girl with one of the clearest, most fair complexions I have ever seen on a girl. Lol.

My mom used to tell me that if I’m not good, I’ll burn in Hell for all eternity.

Granted, I can’t actually say if it’s a lie or not, but with how she was it probbaly is, regardless of the truth lol.

Interestingly enough, I used to think that about watermelon seeds, that a plant would grow inside me, and I don’t remember anyone ever telling me that. That was just a product of my own ridiculous thoughts. :)

@DominicX That’s funny though. :D Incidentally, I used to think that when we ate something, it stayed in our stomachs forever. O_o

@DominicX Me, too. I also thought I came up with werewolves and was terribly upset to find out that they were already in books and movies and had, in fact, been part of folklore and legends since pretty much forever. XD

The best “lie” I was told as I child that I can think of was one my grandfather told me. My parents wanted me to give up my bottle but I was being really stubborn about it. So Pop told me that the mama bear that comes around our house needed bottles for her baby cubs. So I put them all out on the porch for her one night and in the morning they were gone.

I grew up as a Jehovah’s Witness. Hated it. That girls were bad, that college was bad, that friends were bad, that the world was ending within ten years, that celebrating your birthday was bad, and that bad suits were in.

I was born on Friday 13th, turned out it was a Thursday. My middle name was Walter (arrrgh) I have no middle name. Thunderstorms are actually God moving his furniture around. If I keep pulling on my tail it will fall off. Aww, Mum was such a tease, & all said just this past week…....

If two people knock their heads against one another, they’ll grow horns.

My Mom would tell me that she had killed the bug when she didn’t!

My eyes would get stuck if I didn’t stop crossing them is all I can think of right now. lol (as per Jake)