Supposing you had the ability to reason and talk on your way out of mum's birth canal, what would your first words be as you greeted the light of the delivery room?

about time!

Mom, Dad, where’s the beer?

@mowens milk flavored beer??

Put me back!

What the ffff-OH MY GOD, THE LIGHT HURTS MY EYES

wtf!?
Mama, we all go to Hell. nice

What have you done?

me? many things

Hmmmm .what else is that used for?

Wow! It’s bright out here!

Dear goodness, to be born and expected to say something intelligent right away. Even with reason and the whole lot I’d be in no state of mind to produce anything worthy of the occasion. Waking up after a night of sleep is enough to incapacitate the clever-saying modules of my brain, never mind being born.

Perhaps something to the effect of “huh what how did I who?”

And of course I’d spend the rest of my life trying to discover the secret that allowed me to speak English right after being born.

@Fyrius I think you’re missing out on the symbolic value of the question. Or maybe not.

@zophu
Well, I imagined what I would say, and this is what came out.
Though perhaps I do take imagining things a bit too seriously.

I would sing this song (Hello my rag time gal, for all you who don’t want to open links)

It’s about time you got me outta here! and please don’t start rubbing me, honey I got enough of that when I was inside your stomach.

My it was cosy & warm in there.I must visit some more of those wonderful resorts some time in the future.Again & again &...... ;¬}

Sheesh! What a tight squeeze!

Anybody got a light?

My Mom used to say I was born talking.

“Wow, that was some ride. I don’t like it here, can I have a nicer room? Do you see all those bright lights, it looks like a hospital in here. I’m hungry, when’s dinner? Could you loosen the blanket a little, please? Where is the bathroom, I don’t think I’m going to like this diaper thingy. Is that my brother? He’s so cute. and on and on and on….............

I suspect I’d say “WAAAAAHHH!!!!” actually.

I can’t believe you’re just going to leave me here.
(I’m adopted.)

What do you mean you thought I was going to be a boy?

“What do you mean, it’s a girl? I’m a boy!”

“Why the hell did that jerk in the white coat smack me in the ass!? That’s sexual assault right there!”

don’t you dare slap me…or put me back in!!

@downtide—That’s probably what my “WAAAAAHHH!!!!” would mean, too.