Do you believe in gender-based phobia?

In general, I think we come with some instinctive fears hardwired into us, but also I agree that people are also “taught” at some level what to think and how to react to things. For example, to be afraid of a bug is not manly, but my ex-husband always sqealed like a girl when he saw one. :) Personally, I love spiders, lizards, and all sorts of creepy crawlies (among other things).

You might find this brainsex website (which includes a test) an interesting exploration of male and female human brains possibly being wired differently.

I have to agree with you. I am afraid of bugs, and my three year acts the same way I do. Now if she spent all her time with my hubby scared free of bugs . I think she would be not scared. Children try to act like their parents that is why we need to set a good example. Can’t help about the bugs though.

I think phobias can often be something picked up from parents. When I was a kid, my next-door neighbour was terrified of thunderstorms, and both of her kids grew up to be afraid of them too.

As a social construct, yes but not as an inherant one. Like @Spider, I believe some fears are instinctive, self preserving things like getting startled by loud noises or pulling your body back from heat or extreme cold.

I think it’s a learned behaviour/fear. I’m a woman and afraid of spiders and snakes, but no other bugs as many other women seem to be (cockroaches don’t bother me in the sense that i think they’re ew, other than the fact that they’re in my house, and neither am i afraid of mice and stuff like that). My husband is not so afraid of spiders, but he’s afraid of wasps for some reason. I can think of no reason why certain genders are instinctively afraid of certain things.

I am not really afraid of any bugs unless they fly at me (and I hate june bugs! But I am not scared of them). But as a child I caught them, put them in a jar to try to make them pets, and untimately accidentally killed them. My husband isn’t really scared of bugs, but he screams and jumps up off the ground when he sees any kind of rodent. I would make them my pets too if they didn’t carry diseases. I will pick lizards up, if they let me, and I call them my garden friends. I always viewed insects and lizards them from a perspective of curiosity, not fear.

In short, to answer your question: no I do not believe in gender based phobias. I think it is socialization and temperment that has more to do with it.

Growing up in Mississippi, I’ve seen both men and women over-react to lizards and such, because it was a part of the prominent culture in my area. It’s almost completely a cultural thing, I think. The feminine drive to appear weak and defensible is a part of it, I’m sure, but I think it’s more of a learned habit than something that’s innate to a specific gender.

It’s definitely learned, not inherent. I’m a woman and I hold spiders, let flies land on me, pet/hold snakes, lizards, love rats and mice, ferrets, etc.

I don’t think so. It does seem certain phobias are overwhelmingly seen in one gender (usually females) but I think this is likely due to nurture rather than nature. Women are not generally viewed negatively for showing fear – it is quite often even expected. The opposite is the norm for males, who risk appearing weak, soft, or feminine by outwardly expressing fear. I know this is a generalization, but feel these are unfortunately the common perceptions. I imagine many phobias that are usually linked to women are also a problem for a high number of men, just not exhibited. I think another contributing factor, similar to wanting to display “socially approved” gender characteristics is who we model our behaviour after through our formative years. I think its possible that phobias are sometimes adopted through the unconscious mimicking of parents and other infuential people in our lives. My mother is very arachnophobic, as am I. This may be the case due to genetics or mere coincidence, but I think there’s a strong possibility she “taught” me this fear through example.

Of course I don’t believe in it.

@NaturallyMe ”... but he’s afraid of wasps for some reason.” Good reason to be afraid of wasps: They attack with only the slightest provocation and sting multiple time. I speak from experience and am always cautious around wasps.

@soozaloozakpow “Women are not generally viewed negatively for showing fear – it is quite often even expected.” Cagey women use it with telling effect, I have noticed!

@Doctor_D I think the influences of our early life, say before five-years-old, have an enormous influence on who we become in later life, and these influences stay with us all our lives: hard-wired into our brains, so to speak.

Apparently, when I was young I was a real water-baby, but I only remember being afraid of water, and when I learned to swim, of being afraid in water over my height. That relates, AFAIK to an early set of experiences around two.

I’ve known two girls who were absolutely terrified of dragonflies, and screamed and hid when they saw one. Dragonflies are harmless and delightful creatures. Someone must have taught them this fear at an early stage.

So, I must conclude that it’s not so much gender-based phobia, but training, experiences and examples that are responsible for phobias. (Side note: I agree with you use of “phobia.”)

@Andreas I’m not sure I understand – as a manipulation tactic, or tool to avoid? :)

@Andreas – yes i know they can get really mean, but a i know that a single one won’t just attack for no reason. I don’t know, i’ve never been afraid of them! I wouldn’t go near a nest though…. :)

@soozaloozakpow Re Cagey women in my comment above.

In films and TV, some women will pretend that a particular situation makes them afraid that they put on a “I’m so helpless, I’m only a woman” type act. Then the big hero comes in and saves the damsel in distress, because he’s so big and tough that nothing frightens him. This portrayal has to come from somewhere, and I suggest it’s from life and actual pretendings of SOME women; part of a stereotype.

Then there’ll be the woman who pretends she can’t reach, say, an item on a top shelf and the man has to come to her aid and get what she needs.

These are manipulations and abuses of their gender that real capable women (those who know their abilities) don’t stoop to. And it is a tool that should NOT be used by either women or (on some occasions) men.

On second thoughts I probably should’ve NOT answered this part of your comment as it’s not strictly a phobia, but it did spring to mind as soon as I read your comment.

@NaturallyMe “I wouldn’t go near a nest though…. :)” Neither would I. But even if you’re not aware of wasps in an area, if you upset them, then they will attack. If you are aware of them and you still upset them, it’s still too bad for you. They attack. Enough reason for me to give them “phobia” status, although strictly speaking this is over the top!

I’m a man and I’m fucking terrified of rodents.

I wonder if part of it is from the time I was sitting at my desk barefoot and suddenly felt something brush against my toes…I looked down to see a pair of mouse eyes staring up at me…EEK!!!

@Andreas Gotcha :) Faux phobias! I agree there are times when the fear displayed by women is not genuine, but rather a part of a ploy to win the attention of some heroic male. I think that is a good point when considering the role gender plays in phobias. In re: to females, even if the fear displayed is an act, it would still be a factor in the reasons women appear to be more prone to phobias. Hopefully the actions of some are not taken as the norm for my gender (I understand you recognize this is not typical of all women). I admit to having an attraction to “strong” men, though do not mean the steroid fueled, egostistical, antagonistic type. At the same time, I am also extremely proud of my strength and independence. The certainty I have of my ability to be self-sufficient if need be is very important. I do not believe in hiding these traits to meet any expectations there may be around my gender and would take issue with someone attracted to me based mainly on some perceived weakness . It bothers me to see some women perpetuating the stereotype of weak helpless women.
Sorry, went off on a bit of a soapbox tangent! Again, I know you were not stereotyping or speaking of all women – I have a bad habit of digression :)

@KhiaKarma The only insect or bug I’m afraid of is wasps and I see it as being totally logical. I’ve been stung, and it hurts. None of the other bugs hurt. I would be afraid of a scorpion if I met one because they’re dangerous. If I lived in a country where there were venomous spiders I would probably be afraid of those too.

@downtide That makes sense. There is a cause and effect to you fears! :)

@KhiaKarma that’s why I don’t say that I have a phobia of these creatures. A phobia is by definition an irratinal fear that has a negative impact on your life. As far as I’m concerned this is a logical fear that could prevent me from being hurt. People have a natural fear of sticking their hand into a fire, but that’s not a phobia either. It’s sensible self-preservation.

@soozaloozakpow Aw shucks! And I thought you were a pushover.

Back to seriousness: Most women I’ve known have been strong in all aspects of life, going back a couple of hundred years in my family lines.

BTW, I saw a natural history show tonight with a section on garter snakes coming out of hibernation in Canada. They were everywhere, and I would not be comfortable in their company. Yuck! Before you laugh: I know they’re fairly harmless; I checked.

@Andreas One of my friends kept a pet garter snake. One day I was handling it, and the snake decided to crawl under my shirt, coil itself round my waist and fall asleep. I guess it was cosy and warm against my skin. It was the only time in my life I’ve ever used the word “cute” to describe a snake.

@downtide That’s so cute. Almost like a kitten does!

It might also be worth noting that as far as I know, anyone who has a phobia (or even “rational” fear) of things like insects, rodents, and snakes can overcome it. I’m not saying anyone should, as it’s their preference.

I had my share of bee and wasp stings as a kid, and as a late-teen (away from home at an overnight camp) I was stung by a hornet and went into anaphylactic shock. For the next 15 years or so, I carried around a resentful and angry fear over being so vulnerable and weak against something so small and bothersome. Whenever I saw a stinging insect, I thought to myslelf, “that thing could kill me.” I carried epinephrine, and when I actually had to use it once (again, away from home, at camp), my fear of dying caused such an adrenaline rush that my friends feared I wouldn’t be able to hold a needle in my hand, much less administer the injection. I didn’t even feel the poke of the needle, and I ended up fine. One of the annoying things is that I may not have needed the shot because I reacted to a hornet, but I guess I was too scared to not take the shot.

Anyway, I no longer carry the fear, and I treat bees and wasps like I would any other insect in the world (well, except the ones that I would handle). I returned to my bedroom after a shower to find wasp flying around. I lived alone and was not dressed so I felt a twinge of fear. I took a deep breath to remain calm, kept my distance, and walked to the window that didn’t have a screen. I opened it, stepped away, and being still, imagined myself flying out the window. Immediately, the wasp flew toward the window and wafted out. The next day, the same exact thing happened, and I took care of it the same way.