I never know what to say to someone when a loved one has died. What should I say at the funeral tomorrow?

I would stick with the tried and true things like “you have my deepest sympathies”, “I’m sorry for your loss”, or “Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.”

“I’m sorry” is good. So are “We’ll remember him warmly” and “I was glad to know him” if you can say it with sincerity.

Yeah, stick to the simple things. When Tigh died, it became uncomfortable for me when it was obvious that people didn’t know what to say. And that’s just the thing – it’s okay to not know what to say, and to just be sorry. Anything forced is too much, and I would have preferred silence in those circumstances, so a simple “I’m sorry” is good enough, in my opinion.

When I had people pass in my life, even though I knew these strangers to me really couldn’t help, just hearing them say the ” if there’s anything I can do, please let me know” made me feel better because it made me feel like even though I don’t know you personally the person who passed made a possitve impression on you enuff to make you want to help the family of him/her and that always made me just a little bit happier.

I think the simplest thing is the best. For a couple of reasons. When some one you love dies, there’s nothing anyone can say that can really make it better, the only thing that could make it better is for it not to have happened, for the person not to have died. And because people who have lost someone they have loved are very often fragile and very sensitive and the less you say the less chance there is that you will say the wrong thing. I have lost both my parents so I know a little about this. A simple “I am so very sorry” is really good enough and an “I’m so very sorry. If there’s anything at all that I can do for you or your family, please let me know” is pretty good too. There is a 99.9 percent chance that they won’t ask anything of you, but they might, so be prepared to make good on it.

I agree with the above. A simple, “I’m sorry for your loss” variant is probably best. Try and stay away from things like, “God picks His flowers” or “He/She is in a better place now.” I found them to be vaguely insulting.

If you do offer your help or services, make sure you mean it.

Sometimes a warm embrace & a knowing look can say more than any words can. That’s my policy anyway.

A hug and he will be well missed.

I agree that less is definitely more in these situation.

I usually stick with “I’m terribly sorry” with a hug. If I knew the deceased well, I might add something small like, “I’ll miss his laugh” or “I loved her cookies” (said softly during the hug).

Truthfully, when my dad died, the wake was such a blur, I barely remember what anyone said to me anyway.

i am so sorry for your loss.

I’m so sorry for your loss. He ( she ) was a delightful ( energetic, intelligent, etc. ) person. I’ll keep you in my prayers. Call me if you need anything, or if you would just like to talk. [ HUG ]

Less is more is very easy for me since I’m a woman of few words. You have all been very helpful. Thank you for reminding me to keep it simple.

Many patients of mine die and I have the families to put back together after. Generally, I say ‘there is nothing I can say right now to make you feel better – life will not be the same and it will be hard for awhile. Let’s make it through each day and I’ll be here for you.”

Just say what is in your heart. The survivors would probably like to hear a heartfelt snapshot on how he impacted your lives.

It’s such a hard time for everyone that they probably wouldn’t notice what you said. But I do understand that it will be hard on your part. I think the best you could possibly do is apologise for their loss and listen to them talk about him. That will mean more.

Say something simple and conventional such as “I’m sorry”. Those closest to the deceased likely don’t want to hear speeches. I abandoned the reception line after my wife’s funeral.