What should I do if my boyfriend is confused about his feelings for me because of puberty?

YOU ARE TOO YOUNG.

Like it or not, its the truth.

What does puberty have to do with anything?

You’re too young. You’ll be too young until puberty stops. Maybe.

Really though, it isn’t about puberty. It’s about feelings changing. His feelings changed, and that means the relationship changes. Are you willing to accept that change?

Maybe he’s just confused. Maybe he’s trying to let you off easy. If he’s the one that blamed puberty, then he probably wants someone else.

I’ll say it again. You’re too young. Find someone else, because this relationship is all but over.

No, puberty is not the problem. all relationships grow and change. he is your first boyfriend and a year is a long time. But things are changing.

Be smart and accept life and it’s adventures.

Okay, I am not mentioning the age thing.

You both are not emotionally ready for this yet. You both need to mature, which requires time.
Don’t be in a hurry for this kind of pain.

Yeah, well, now you’re probably going to learn how to deal with break-ups, just sooner rather than later. Good luck. There will be more guys you’ll have relationships with as you go through life, and whatever happens, or however feelings change, you’ll be OK.

At your age I wasn’t even thinking about love, not even close. I wasn’t even thinking about dating (I was a late starter) but I did have my fair share of crush’s. But then again what I am like might be the complete opposite for you.

He could be bored with you and may be looking for something new, give him some time. Think about the high’s and low’s of what you have and you yourself might find that your better suited as friends. Not everyone can be friends after a relationship and your lucky if you can hold onto some kind of communication.

I just asked this question, and neglected to mention, that neither of us want to break up. ANd today he also told me that his feelings keep changing, and hes sorry. He told me that he can’t imagine himself not being with me (next door neighbors) And when I said love, we think its powerful puppy love.

Welcome to Fluther. 13 is a tough age. It is harder for boys to be “adult” enough to be in a relationship at that age then it is for girls. Stay in group settings and don’t really be alone with him too much at this age.

@sml As you get older you’ll realize that it wasn’t really love at all and that your never sure that it is/was as you mentioned “powerful puppy love”. You might just need time to reflect on things and to do your own things for a bit. It is a pretty big deal if peoples feelings change because if your seeing someone you want to know their definite feelings without that you’ll be left confused.

I know its a big deal, our relationship has been great till now. We were friends until we were 9 then became friends again at 12 and by the end of the year were dating. He has been very mature, and has been the best boyfriend I could have. This is the first time something has gone wrong, his dad, him, my mom, and me all feel that it is puberty.

O.K., you’re 13. Are you absolutely certain about everything. You’re never confused about things, never confused about your relationships? And yes, 13 just plain is young, whether you want to believe it or not, we’re not just making that up. You have plenty of time to sort these things out.

@sml I honestly wouldn’t put it down to puberty and certainly can’t see how it would be affecting feelings if anything I would expect puberty to lead you to like someone more rather than to be confused about how you feel toward one other.

I guess. I ‘m just really confused right now. Obviously that’s why I asked the question. And that’s why we are waiting it out right now, and are gonna stop seeing each other for a bit while he works out his feelings.

@sml You’re a little confused, he’s a little confused. That’s the way things go sometimes.
So what should you do if he’s a little confused? And you’re a little confused? Take it slow, take it down a notch, as you suggested, take it down a few notches; until you both are able to sort things out.

This is the way I see it. He very well may just want and need time to be a kid. The moment you said you loved him, he probably felt pressured. People may sometimes hook up with someone thinking its great because you are friends and then realize that one of you feel differently about the relationship. It could be he is simply maturing and realizes that he loves you but not the same way you love him. He actually may love you as a friend. Your relationship may have started as infatuation which can seem similar but not the same. Maybe he is more confused because he knows he doesn’t feel real love for you and never will but he doesn’t want to lose you as a friend.
If this is the case, it is difficult for anyone to handle at any age but even more difficult for someone as young and as inexperienced as the both of you.
Its always difficult to cut strings with a best friends and he doesn’t know how to let you know this without hurting your feelings and you going away.
You can’t always feel love for someone even if you feel they are super fantastic.
Of course I am simply guessing. Best way is to ask him up front and promise and mean it, that you won’t be angry with him for how he feels.
He simply may not be the one for you.

Pandora

I told him that today, and also he told me he loved me, and he asked me out in the first place. And believe me, when he wants he can be a kid, I think we both can.

Also thanks to every one for helping me. I could use as much advice as anyone has to offer. Its 1 am and I can’t sleep.

13 and confused….

I think I speak for pretty much every adult here when I say that there is nothing new or surprising there. I mean I was confused when I was 13. We all were.

Sometimes when the shit hits the fan, we all need a little space. Age doesn’t change that.

It doesn’t get any better even as you get older…men are just confused so get used to it!

You are too young, just like boots said.

Love at 13 is real. But it is not the same as love at 18 or 25 or 33. In time you will have another real love, and it’ll be one to keep.

At 13 you are not having your last new romance. That’s okay. It would be a shame if you were because you’d be missing so much that’s still to come.

You might have to prepare yourself to let this one go from your life. If you let it go gently, you can treasure the memory in your heart.

I got lucky in that I got it right the first time; we’ve been together for 17 years and married for 9½ of them.

Then again, we met when I had already graduated high school and spent a year in the Navy, so it’s a totally different ball game from being 13.

My daughter’s middle school teacher once commented that middle school social lives runs on “dog year” time. If you’ve been “dating” for a year in middle school, that’s like an older person dating for 4–5 years. Part of being 13 is learning to like a lot of people, but most of all, learning how to like yourself.

You cannot make someone like you, or have feelings for you if they don’t.