(NSFW) If you have herpes, how soon do you tell a potential partner?

I’d want to know ASAP…I’d tell ASAP as well. It is my understanding that you can deal with it better these days…and, there is no reason in this world not to know nor advise your lover.

I’d tell when it became apparent that sexual contact was definitely in the cards. And that’s when I’d expect to be told, as well.

The sooner the better! If the relationship has that trust (:

I’d want to know right away and I would tell right away..

I would want to know before getting physical. However some people get physical fast, and others more slowly. If we are still just holding hands I don’t need your medical records yet. I’d treat it as a need-to-know basis because many first and second dates turn out to be nothing more than “let’s be friends.” I mean it’s not like you have to wear it tattooed on your forehead.

I’d want to know before things became physical and I would tell before that time as well. I would be really upset if someone didn’t tell me sooner.

This may sound selfish but I’d want to know asap, but I prob wouldn’t say anything until things became sexual

I’d tell them after the first sexual encounter because then, they’re trapped with you so it’s no big deal anymore…~

Ok, not really. Like @Inked_up_chic, I’d want to know right away but I wouldn’t want to tell until right before things started heading to the physical direction. My reasoning is simple. I’d want to know early because then, I’d distance myself from a physical relationship but I’d keep mine a secret because I wouldn’t want the lady to distance herself from me. It’s selfish but true. I’m clean and don’t want herpes therefore, even if I’m hitting it off with a lovely lady, I’d want to not get physical and the sooner I know, the easier it would be to do that.

After saying that, if it came up, I’d mention it sooner. I wouldn’t lie about it but I’d keep it too myself unless I thought she was going to be at risk of it.

Exactly the same thing @MacBean said.

@Randy brings up a good point. If it came up in conversation before I brought it up myself, I wouldn’t lie. And if it came up and the other person DID lie, I’d still be pissed off, even if they came clean later, before actual sexual contact.

Duh stupid herpes is gross. That should be out front on the first conversation, it really changes everything.

I would want to know right away. And If I had it I’d rather tell them right away instead of getting attached to them first then telling them.

As soon as you’re done with the other other one, tell your partner you’ve been drinking from other’s glasses quite a lot lately. When the herpes appears, you just say: “darn, I shouldn’t have drunk from other’s glasses that much”. :)

Seriously, as mentioned before, the sooner the better! Don’t fear your redemption :P

If someone told me about their STDs right away, I wouldn’t be interested in seeing them anymore. Not because of the STDs but because I would think sex was the only thing they were interested in since they felt that fact was so important.

I agree with a lot of these statements. I have dated a person with genital herpes. I would say he told me pretty quick, and while it did impact how I felt it also made me realize he was interested and cared enough to tell me. That being said it is also good to be infomed yourself. SO be on Valtrix, demand to use a condom until they are comfortable with you. Know where your outbreaks occur and keep up on how you feel physically… it may seem like the flu but it could be an onset. And if you put off the actual sex it can make for great foreplay build up. However, I wouldn’t tell on the first date (unless you get physical on that date), it is something that is private and you don’t need the world to know if you aren’t ready for that judgement.

Mouth herpes? No, I’d not say anything unless you feel the need to. It’s not like you are getting much kissing done with herpes sores on your mouth.
Genital Herpes? I would say something before skin on skin contact happened in the southern parts.
I don’t think it is a deal breaker. You just have to be knowledgeable about it. Most people have some form of it anyway. It is also possible you have genital herpes now and not even know it, so you could be passing it on with out knowledge of doing so. Regardless, it’s not like you are having sex with herpes on your penis or on your vaginal area.
Herpes are like warts for those of you that don’t know what it really is. There have been cases of only one outbreak in some people and then never again. There are also cases that appear every couple of months or so. Just be careful. Wear condoms and don’t get hot and heavy on anything during that time.