Do you feel heard?

Heard? Yes…. Understood? Rarely.

Didn’t get your question?

Most of the time, no.

I do now! It took me over 40 years to get it through my thick skull that it is what you say that is everything towards getting your message across. There is a time and a place for every emotion and applying the wrong emotion at the wrong time is what scuttled many of my attempts to be heard. The key is understanding your “audience” and their state of mind! 90+ percent of the time their head is some other place thinking of their own problems and yapping away about whatever is the proverbial Charlie Brown adult and all they hear is “Waa woa wnaa waaa!” with test patterns in their eyes.

So if you are a careful study in human behavior and psyche and approach each situation knowing that you probably need to find a way into their head to get your message across, your success rate in achieving desired results will improve exponentially!

Sometimes. Maybe even usually. But not always when it comes to some really important subjects, and that can overshadow everything else. :(

I have learned how to make myself heard when I need to be, and when my thoughts are trivial I keep them to myself.

Yes, for the most part, I do feel heard.

Yes I do. Okay sometimes I go on a bit but yeah. Most of what I have to say especially with the family is absorbed, understood & in most cases acted upon. Which is good.

With some people, yes. With some people, no.

I’m not (yet) Madonna, who famously said, “Now that I got everyone’s attention, what do I have to say?”

Sometimes, but usually I am busy herding the sheep to notice.

Sheep prefer to be herd then heard.

Most of the time I feel heard. The only time I don’t really feel heard is when it comes to talking to my family about visits. I know they “hear” me, but I don’t think they really get it sometimes. They think it is so easy for me to make these trips across the country constantly and they really don’t get how much of a toll it takes on me sometimes.

Not always. But, I do my best to be heard (when it has to do with something that is important to me. I’m relentless that way).

I’ve found out that the way to be heard is to find somebody who has the ear of the person or persons you want to hear you.

yes… but I have lots more to say

Not very often.

Honestly it depends on who I am talking too. I know it sounds typical for my young age but I never feel like I am heard by my grandparents who are the ones who look after me. I will be 20 in November and they still treat me like a child, and rarely try to listen to what I have to say. But I will talk to other older and knowledgeable adults and they will hear me just fine and tell me what a fine head I have on my shoulders. Not that my grandparents dont think I am intelligent and responsible its just they think they always know best and always are correct when in some cases they really are not even when I have a valid and solid argument. But maybe thats just how “parents” are.

I rarely feel as if I’m being heard. Which makes me wonder how some people can rattle on about any and everything and all ears will be tuned in to what they are saying.

Occasionally, everyone feels left out, I would think (i do). It does not bother me. Learned a longtime ago, not to take what i’ve to say very serious anyway.

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. The usual.

Most people are incredibly self absorbed, stuck in their own little universe of thought and self fulfillment.

I try to remember to practice presence and give my full attention to the person/situation at hand.

Sometimes I am more effective than others, of course, but….at least I am AWARE, while most are clueless to training their minds to be fully present.

Giving another our full attention is so important, but, sadly, pretty rare.

Sometimes you need to give people a good pinch to be heard. Wait that works with Husbands only.

Yes, but only since the beginning of this year.

I feel heard.. occasionally half-heard, overheard, unheard, but mostly heard.

Yes, moreso than ever before. I do think a lot of that has to do with age.

Nobody listens to me, i used to be in a constant state of screaming, now i realize that a lot of people hear my screams but don’t care. I learned to be independent and live without the help of people. Screaming just tires me out.

Your question reminded me of a song I really love.

I think that being heard is in direct proportion to those in your life who care enough to listen.

Oh, I’m heard but not always validated.

Mostly, but I don’t feel understood as often as I feel heard. I don’t feel persuasive as often as I feel understood. I don’t get my way as often as I am persuasive.

It’s interesting that @Simone_De_Beauvoir mentioned getting validation. I’m not sure validation is all that important to me. I’m more concerned with changing things.

@wundayatta I think that was just the first thing that came to mind. This validation I speak of is not the kind you are thinking of: it’s not about whether people will validate my opinions, it’s about whether they will validate who I am because I have asked them to – this only has to do with people that matter and not anyone that doesn’t. But, don’t worry, I get your snarky remark – you may, by all means, make it at my expense.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir It was not meant to be snarky. I am not putting down validation—of either sort. I’m just saying it doesn’t do anything for me.

For the most part, I do.

I definitely feel heard. But there are those that disagree so much with what I said, they twist my actual words and try to put me away. Unfortunately for them, when I bite, I am like a fish on a hook and I don’t go away very easily.

I’ll say no. Not because I’m being all Emo and depressed, and not because I want people to particularly pay attention to me.
I mean I yell, but it’s not always heard. As I yell, other people yell. Everyone is yelling in unison. Songs of despair, war marches or pleas wrought of sorrow. The problem is, as I yell, other people are yelling too. Nobody hears anyone, because they’re too busy yelling. Nobody listens to anyone. Nobody listens to me, and I listen to no one.
People are caught in their own webs, and you can’t blame anyone for not hearing the screams of death coming from the one next to them, when they’re busy trying to shovel their entrails back in their abdomens.

Some few people may traverse the violent seas and plant their flags. Good thing I met a few who taught me how to whisper. It may not seem like it, but I’m still thankful for those here on Fluther who listened to me on that one night I posted about my booze problem.

At work the concept of regular 1:1 is key, for example 30 minutes every 2 weeks. Cell phone free time. Active listening. Both ways. Then you will be heard. And vice versa.

In private life some ritual can help, for example a longer walk twice a week. Active listening. Both ways. Then you will be heard. And vice versa.

This is what I do and it does satisfy my needs.

I’d have to say no. Much of what I think isn’t heard because I don’t speak aloud much of what I think. Most of what I do say aloud isn’t heard, mostly because I speak softly. And hardly any of what is heard is understood when it comes to the more big, abstract, conceptual things.
However, if I have a strong opinion, I make damn sure I’m heard.