What would you want to know about your parent?

How did my mother like to spend her time as a child? What was my father’s personality and demeanor like when he was young?

What a wonderful ideal. Get a notebook and just start, I’m sure all your questions will come to you by and by. Take lots of notes first and catagorize them later. Gather up any and all pictures you can from friends and family members. Most of all, make it a fun project So sorry to hear of your loss. Good luck with your project

Sorry for your loss. My dad passed away too, and I miss him a hell of a lot. Hang in there.

I always wanted to know what my dad was like as a kid and a teenager. Yeah I saw photographs, a burly youth with long ass hair and a buck knife strapped to his leg lmao. Apparently a lot of homosexuals used to hit on him.
But never he really told me much, he seemed to humorously dismiss the matter, beyond some few anecdotes. I’d love to really know what he was like, like how much, or how little, he knew, how he spoke, and what kinda jokes he made and all. My grandparents told me a lot about him when he was a kid, especially my grandma, but I kinda wish I could go back in time and see what he was really like for myself.

Yo dude, I’m some random chick from the future who’s actually your daughter lol.
Yeah that might not work.

I guess there’s nothing specific I wanna know, aside from all of it lol. (Except for his sexual escapades, I dun need to know that lol.)

If you want relatives to get talking though, ask what he was like as a kid…that might get a lot of things going.

I would have liked to have known my father as a person. My entire childhood, he was either at sea or on some foreign posting. I know him as a list of facts rather than a person: battles fought, enemy aircraft destroyed, ships commanded, decorations won. He was a hell of a warrior, parenting wasn’t his thing.Those who knew him were fanatically loyal to him. It was left to my grandfather to instill the values I now have.

The question I would ask could only be answered by him. I would like to know how was he able to keep his humor and his strength and love and belief in good people through out years of his illness? Even when he was wronged he was able to turn the other cheek.
Its been 31 years since he’s been gone and I still miss him. Miss the strength he had and his joy for life.
I’m sorry for your loss.

Start with his early childhood and work your way through the years. Think of your own milestones in your life and ask about his similar moments and you should see a pretty clear picture of what life was like for your dad! Have fun with this quest!

How much do you want to dig up?

I would start by doing my research. I would look at any papers and documents that your mother will let you look at. I would look at tax records and credit card records and old utility bills and old letters (if any of these things exist). I find that financial records often prod my memory about various events.

Once you’ve done that and read all you can, a million questions will come up because you will have only pieces of the picture. You ask about the pieces you don’t have.

If there are no records, or you are unwilling to do this kind of research, then I would sit down, and write out a history of what I knew about my father. Where he was born, how many siblings, what he did growing up, where he went to school, when he got married, what kind of work he did, what happened at work.

You’ll find many holes in your knowledge. That’s what you ask your living relatives about.

Or you could do both things. You might even end up with enough material for a biography. That might be a nice memorial.

Not that they’ll want to, but if my kids did do that kind of research, they would find it all laid out for them. I kept everything: letters, bills, credit card statements, etc. A lot of it is on computer, too. I just have to remember to give them the unlocking code before I die.