@Seek_Kolinahr There’s a huge difference between child abuse and giving a kid a swift swat on the butt.
And I’m going to explain this badly and it’s going to sound worse than it is, but it’s not the act of spanking that’s a deterrent. It’s the fear that they’re going to get a spanking. It’s that fear that gets kids through childhood. Not just fear of spankings, but fear of burning their hand on a stove, fear of getting shocked playing with a plugged-in lamp. Humans feel fear for a very good reason.
These days kids don’t have to fear discipline. Take away the Xbox? They’ll get it back, eventually. Even if they have to steal it from you. If you raise a hand to them they can call the police or tell their teachers and then you’re the one in a lot of trouble.
@Aster You need to care. Anger breeds resentment. Resentment doesn’t help when it comes to having respect. The more anger, the more resentment, the less respect they have for you as a parent. The older they get, the less they’re going to care.
Denying a kid something, or taking it away, is a passive act. A passive act that lasts a while; long enough to brood over. If you don’t want to spank a kid then do something else that’s active so that when it’s done, it’s done. And if they start feeling like they want to be bad again they’ll think twice because they… don’t want to clean a siblings room, or do dishes, or wash the car. Whatever.
Of course, every kid is different so punishments need to be adjusted.
Ultimately, it’s not going to make a difference. Like I said, kids know that all they have to do is turn in their parents. Even for something fake. Read up on some CPS cases.
In summary: I’m not necessarily condoning spanking, as long as something else will work. It should be an active something rather than a passive something.