@austerus
The ego ( in spiritual terms ) is the false self.
Taming ego and knowing oneself is an ongoing process.
Ego evolved as a defense of ‘self’, and reacting appropriately to threats is one of it’s beneficial features for survivals sake.
But..ego becomes problematic when one over identifies with the external as truth.
To recognize ego as separate from ones true self is healthy psycho/spiritual development.
This is why highly defensive types react with such intensity, because they feel anything that mimics a threat places them in a space for potential annihilation.
The death of ego does not mean the death of self, but this is where it gets tricky for most.
They see something as simple as a disagreement to be a real threat to their survival, which is really ego survival and not self survival, if you follow.
They do not recognize that a blow to their ego is not on the same continuum as being attacked by a bear. lol
If I disagree with you, you will not die, but ego takes all hint of threat as a potential death.
This is where many issues with insecurity and depression and other mental un-wellness arises from, the mind believing the egos stories, their own and others, and identifying with thought and opinion as ultimate truth.
It is easy to tell how identified one is with their false self when a crisis of sorts is experienced.
A relationship loss, job loss, loss of status etc.
Those that are over identified with the external as a barometer of self will crash hard, those that have attained some measure of ‘enlightenment’ will not feel utterly destroyed as a self by the loss of some ego identifying external bookmark of their self worth or even, the feeling they no longer exist with the loss of that defining external prop.
Completely knowing oneself takes lots of self awareness work and due diligence, and is a lifelong process.
I believe self awareness is the most important work human beings have to do if they wish to live lives of inner peace and disassociate from over identification with false self that left unexamined is the cause of all suffering. :-)
The true self is eternal, and cannot be harmed.
To ‘die unto yourself’ is the death of ego, that liberates one from their false identifications of what ‘self’ really is.