Attention seekers (adults), did they not get enough attention when they were kids?

Perhaps. That could be one reason. I personally got a lot of attention (first born) but I might be considered someone who likes attention. Here, or in real life. I am a deeply private person, and have avoided the limelight in my field – but that may simply be because of incompetence ;-)

Having said that, there are all kinds of personalities out there – and it takes two… to tango.

Sometimes people thrive on it because it makes them feel important and what they have to say matters. I can be that way sometimes. I wish more. It is nice to be center stage sometimes.

With some, it’s overkill, though.

Could be a lot of things. Just to play devil’s advocate re your question: maybe they got too much attention as children and have come to expect it, have come to feel entitled to it.

Interesting.

@lillycoyote Good point. My daughter is that way, bless her, me me me. But then – she’s brilliant and will be some kind of star in the future. My son, is quiet, modest, very polite and a super sports athlete. Very different kids – raised by me alone. So – I dunno.

Some of us are born exhibitionists, and it runs in the family.

Some people are experiencing a lack of validation in their lives and may be seeking it on fluther.

@Dr_Lawrence That’s what I was thinking.

@zenele That’s another part of the equation to. Sometimes, I think, there is a fine line between “attention seekers” and “attention getters,” and sometimes they have trouble drawing the line themselves.

I think I am probably symptomatic of what @Dr_Lawrence said. Plus I’m a complete idiot anyway.

I am an attention whore, and I got plenty of attention as a child. I was a total ham. ;)

I notice this in myself, I don’t know where it comes from as I was an only child and got adequate attention for my achievements. I consider this behavior to be a major character flaw and work against it. I’ll go so far as to avoid having my name associated with things that might get me recognition; for example, charitable contributions are made only with the provision of anonymity. Some people misinterpret my efforts as false modesty, I consider this to be self-imposed forced modesty. Whenever I catch myself doing something that might draw attention to myself, I back away from it or obscure my involvement in it.

A great thing about internet anonymity is that I can discuss this without having my name associated with it.

@jjmah Thanks for that 2KnowMyself reference, fascinating.

I would say it is a learned behavior that is enabled by an available cheering squad. I grew up in the shadow of a high achieving older sister and outside the limelight grabbing antics of an overly cute baby sister and there were little to no opportunities for my parents to be able to be there for each of us 5 kids as their time was spoken for trying to tend to the babies of the family. So I pretty much grew up as an only spectator of my achievements in life and later was self employed out of college and for 16 years basked alone in all my professional achievements. I can say I have at times craved outside recognition of my life’s achievements but alas have learned to move along more in a quiet fashion. Now my kids on the other hand not only have me as a sounding board of all that they do they have 2 grandparents who are a wild and enthusiastic cheering squad for many of their sporting activities and scholastic achievements so I can see the joy in their faces of all this attention their successes will bring their way. So will they now forever expect and “seek” out this adrenaline rush of attention? I doubt it will be a major issue as they are pretty well adjusted but time will tell.

Honestly, I just think some are just plain crackers.
This all ties in with, I need to find myself. (pass a mirror, you’ll find out where you went)
The world doesn’t recognize my genius. (wait till you drop dead, you’ll seem like a complete genius, ahead of your time)
I wasn’t loved as a child. (Time for you to grow up. There are people who grow up without parents who somehow managed just fine.)
This is simply all about the me generation. Its all about me all the time. There are plenty of excuses I can use to excuse my infantile poor behavior.
Some just need to grow up and some are simply crackers, and some are just A-holes.
No real explanation for A-holes except that misery loves company and they will take it where they can get it or not get it.

Lots of great answers above. Plus I think everything in our society including advertising, reinforces the notion of me, me, me. It’s one of the reasons we’re viewed askance in other countries.

They could have histrionic personality disorder. This isn’t just attention-seeking, but goes even farther. If you know someone who has this disorder, it’s clear there’s something not right. The article I linked to could be written about my mother. It describes her behavior almost perfectly, and the lengths she will go to in order to get attention are ridiculous. She does everything from exaggerate to flat-out lie, always has drama in her life that is never due to her own bad decisions, and is a master at manipulating and using people. Her behavior ranges from deceitful and damaging to just plain funny. Being with her in public or in a group is a terrible experience.

I think what differentiates a disorder from bad habits or bad manners is crossing a certain line. If someone is lying, manipulating, or acting out with dramatic and false emotions in order to get attention and really can’t control the behavior or even consider they might have a problem, there’s a good possibility they have a disorder that could benefit from treatment.

No, and still don’t! i need love!

@BoBo1946 we all love you here, boo.

@Aster ahhh….i’m feeling better already my friend! Love is what we live for.

Those who seek attention using various “scripts” and models are alwas having some need met by the behavour. Your best bet is to figure out what your part of the script is and stop sayig your lines. You are following their script so that they can fulfill the picture they have in ther heads about themelves and how people “treat” them. And honest, calm, confrotation is effective someimes, You say things like; “Everytime this topic comes up I feel like you expect me to say/act this way….” or “I’m not comfortable with ths conversation. I feel that we’ve had it before and I can’t allow myself to be drawn back into it again.” Or “I’ve seen/heard you do this before and I can alomst prdict the outcome. If you’ll excue me I’ll allow it to hapen wihout my presence.”

@BoBo1946 some need a lot more than others . Some people just don’t need much, others like MMonroe need an impossible amount—insatiable.
And, of course, many don’t know How to show love. A lot of people, men especially, feel showing love is wimpy. Or they feel they’ll be taken advantage of if they do it too much.

This article says that some of it is lack of attention as children:

Why do some people strive for attention?
If as a child, the person did not receive much attention from his parents or his peers he may grow up feeling neglected, those feelings will then be the main drive behind his attention seeking behavior. Abusive parents and parents who are always absent usually make their children feel that they are overlooked and so the child may grow up as an attention seeking adult.

I’m annoyed, though, because there are no sources.

@Aster touche my friend….

Basically agree with @BoBo1946. Though an individual’s behavior can’t usually boiled down to a generalization, it’s my understanding that some behaviors can be understood as strategies that individual developed to get needs met in childhood. Maybe their parents didn’t give enough attention, but maybe their parents gave them too much. The point is, that method of interaction was positively reinforced along the way, and the individual now relies on it.

@gregwasserstrom my parents were uneducated…My Dad hit Normandy D Day and came back a mental case. Stayed in and out of mental institutions most of my life. Mother waited on tables in cafe 7 days a week, so….my bro and i got very little attention. For the most part, I raised my younger brother. We both got a college education by hard work…and it worked out.

But, having said that, i’m a very strong person because of all of that….it could have destroyed me, but was not going to allow that to happen. Survival was the name of the game then.

Welcome to Fluther and you gave a great answer.

@BoBo1946 Good for you. It’s amazing how what would do one person in…is motivation for another to both survive and be better for it.

I’m glad you made it.

@MissA thank you MsA….take care my friend.

@BoBo1946 Thanks!