If you split with a friend over a lie they believed of you, would you ever take take them back once they discovered the truth and apologized?

It depends on the kind of lie the friend believed.

Yes.Right after I make them eat some dirt XD

I believe Alexander Pope had it right, “To err is human, to forgive divine.”

Depends on how sincere the apology is. I would give it a shot again but some of the trust would be gone.

Of course I would accept their apology. For me its not about giving a person a second chance, I just don’t have time to be angry and upset over trivial matters. It doesn’t matter what kind of lie my supposed friend believed… that’s on them. I can only hope that any friend of mind had enough sense to check out all the facts before they came to any rash conclusions.

I would accept their apology. I don’t think our friendship would get back to where it was before that situation happened though. Perhaps over time it would depending on what the lie was that they believed.

Depends on the genuineness of the apology/the situation. More often than not, I’m willing to forgive and forget – unless the situation is that the person really isn’t genuinely sorry and/or shows no real remorse of what he/she has done, then I think they’re better off booted.

In your particular situation (what I think you’re saying), is that someone heard something negative or inaccurate of yourself and thought it was true. Why would it be their fault or how have they done you wrong – unless it includes them mistreating you somehow? They would have to mistreat me to the extreme before I forgave them in a similiar situation.

I’m curious, now =D.

Yes, but I wouldn’t forgive them and doubt are friendship would be the same.

My best friend in high school believed all kinds of rumours that weren’t true and I felt insulted that he took the words others over mine. They were always the most ridiculous things too. If you’re going to believe a lie it should at least be a plausible one.

@Disc2021 It wasn’t something said of me. It was something said of someone I love and they know very well. I set the story straight but was not believed. It has more to do with this persons character. We are no longer friends because of this and because she was a total douche to me. But even if she wasn’t a douche, I think the fact that she would call me friend on one hand and a liar on the other, and the person I love a liar, is not a forgivable offense.
The douche thing sealed the deal.
Anyhow, needless to say she got to see the real caliber of her new friend and I wish them well, but I don’t like it when people one.
Believe rumors without getting both sides of the story.
Two. Are easily persuaded to believe a rumor.
Either they are an idot, (I don’t make friends with idiots)
or they secretly want to find fault in your character to feel superior,(says jealousy)
or they don’t know you at all (never were good enough friends where they would understand who you are), so no point in staying friends in none of the cases mentioned.
Everyone tells lies. Its human nature.
But I dislike people who believe rumors more than the ones who start them. The ones who start them usually do it for some personal gain. The one who readily believes it does so because they want to believe it.

It sounds like this erstwhile friend is a shallow and superficial person. You should make up just enough so that you don’t make other people uncomfortable if you’re invited to the same place, but not so much that the person is privy to any personal information about you and your family.

A friend, probably yes but like others say, it depends on the type of lie they believed of me.

If me and a friend who did me wrong could come to a shared understanding of what happened, then I would have already accepted them back into my life in the process. It’s not a simple choice.

As a Christian I’d forgive them whether they asked or not, also as a Christian it’s up to me to allow a disrespectful and untrustworthy person into my personal life or not – being a good steward of my life. Having forgiven I’d be courteous but I won’t submit to ignorant untrustworthy people, they just cause problems and aren’t worth the time.

@Pandora I was recently in a similiar situation where a mutual friend outside of my usual circle of friends lied and told one of them that the other didn’t like him – we thought it was weird and for awhile, we really didn’t know what to think. Eventually, the truth was found.

I can’t say I agree with your last two lines – we honestly didn’t know that the person was lying, although we thought what he said had seemed pretty weird or unlikely. I definitely agree, though, that people lie/spread rumors for either their own personal gain or out of their own discontent or biases.

@whome Yeah, I agree. I guess I have forgiven her. I wish her a good life. Just far away from me.
@Disc2021 But in your situation, you said you found it odd. So you had doubt. It is what a good friend with no bad feelings towards you is suppose to do. I don’t think a friend should know everything about your character but they should give a person the benefit of the doubt until they know both sides of the story. You gave your friend the benefit of the doubt till you knew the whole story.
But the moment a friend is on the witch hunt wagon, than that says they were never a friend at all.

It isn’t about forgiveness and second chances, it’s about trust. An apology is where someone shows you that they understand what they did to you. Being sorry, is what someone does when they feel the sorrow they caused you, by understanding what they did to you. If I see that they do this honestly, then “forgiveness” isn’t a part of the equation. You can’t just hold some kind of righteous judgement over someone’s head for the rest of their lives. It’s either they understand, or they don’t—and it’s up to you understand which one it is.

Even though I’m the victim, I am still responsible for doing my best in helping the person who victimized me understand. And I am responsible for being able to see that they understand if they come to. When I can’t help them understand, I am responsible for protecting myself from the person making a similar mistake again.

Guys I have to go to bed. I’m having a hard time staying awake. I’ll read any more responses tomorrow and reply then. Thanks to all who answered. Have a good night.

It’s hard for me to imagine a true friend of mine believing a lie about me. I just don’t think it’d happen. We don’t have all that drama going on, though. I would think it pretty petty if they didn’t believe me. What type of friendship is that?

Am I the only one who thinks this question makes no sense at all?
You’re asking, if a friend believes a lie you told, would you accept their apology upon discovering the truth?
Excuse me but… what? Why would they need to apologize to you? You’re the one who lied.

Edit: Okay, I see. You mean a lie they heard about you from someone else. i.e., a rumor. Wasn’t really clear. I don’t see how a friendship would end over hearsay, don’t you think there would be some kind of communication/confrontation before it got to that point?

Most likely I would.

I would hope that the few people I actually call friend would come to me and try to find out first. Actually, something like this happened to me not too long ago. I have seen both people since then and had nothing to say, but I did not really consider them real friends to begin with, just co-workers.
I would have to actually have something hapen for real with all the particulars before I could say whether or not I would forgive. I probably would forgive, as I believe that carried anger is unhealthy, but whether or not I would call that person “friend” again is another matter and I lean towards doubting it.

Depends on the person, depends on the relationship I have and have had with the person, depends on the lie, depends on the sincerity of the apology, depends on all sorts of nuances of the circumstances. Friendships are precious. i don’t have any hard and fast rules that would allow me to simply cut a friend out of my life without considering everything.

@le_inferno, the question is awkwardly written, but I construed it to mean that the friend believed untrue rumors and gossip spread by a third party. Pandora then said that the lie was not about her, but about someone she cares a great deeply about. Rather than coming to Pandora for clarification of the story being spread, the friend joined in the perpetuation of the lies.

I’m going through something like that right now. I haven’t split with my friend, but i’ve been rather distant with her lately.. As i’m hurt that she would not believe me, and by the cold way she treated me last month. If she apologized, it would make things a little less tense between us, I guess. I try not to hold a grudge, as life is too short.

@BarnacleBill Thanks for explaining, I kinda got the gist of it after I replied

I’m willing to forgive. The “he said, she said” scenarios can rarely produce facts, so I’m willing to go with my instincts. Can someone really forget it? I doubt it. At least I can’t…I’ve been there.