Why are people so phobic about phone messages?

I actually disabled VM from my cell phone because it cost me money and the messages were invariably, “Hey. It’s me. Call me back when you get a chance.” Now I just look at the missed calls and call back when I get a chance.

The only time I don’t leave a message when that option if offered, is when I am in a public place when making the call and cannot speak freely.

Me, I’d rather get a vm than a live call via cell phone from somebody informing me know they were sitting on the tarmac or walking up the cereal aisle.

I think there came a point when people started ignoring VM because of the typical, “hey it’s me…” messages. Most people would rather send a text because they feel it will be received and seen quickly.

I hate my voice and I get all stumbly with my message with a whole lot of Ahhhh… mmm… It is rather comical. I hate leave a voice message.

I got yelled at by a good friend for doing that so now I prank her in the voice of Nacho Libre.
The first time it scared the he!! out of her!
XD
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N14Y81L4IXE

My phone ettiquite depends on why I need to contact the person. If it’s not a matter of immediate importance, I will send them a text message (it can be checked, read, and deleted without much fuss.) If it is important and longer than a text, I will ring them. If they don’t pick up, I’ll leave a voicemail. If I don’t know the person that well (such as a professor), I will exclusively call.

In voice mail, I will say who I am, why I called, cheers, then hang up.

The majority of people I know are text-exclusive people. They will text you for everything. They would probably text the police if they were being held up in robbery. I don’t mind it, but sometimes I want to hold a conversation and not see typographical errors or hear a laugh instead of reading “lol” (and when someone texts you “lol” the conversation is over. How are you supposed to respond to that? “Yeah, I’m laughing too… heh.”)

It’s not a phobia so much as it is that voicemail is more annoying than an ass-crack full of fire ants.

There is also a generational gap since people my age and older remember the days when, if the person you called didn’t pick up, tough shit! No voicemail, no machines, no texts, no “missed call” alerts, just a phone that rang until either it was answered or the caller gave up with no sign that anyone ever called. No caller ID either, so no screening calls.

It was a simpler time…

I’m horrible with leaving messages. I get all nervous and stutter a lot and throw in tons of fillers. With normal conversations, the other person does half the work, but with a voice mail, it’s all on me. I’ll leave a voicemail if I have an actual message, but most of the time it’s just “hey, it’s me, just calling to say hi/see how you were, call me back if you want” and I figure the missed call alert tells you that without wasting 30 seconds of your time in a nervous, awkward, stumbling way.

I hate listening to voicemails, getting transcription changed my life. Because once you get passed all the “hey it’s me” voicemail, 99 out of 100 will be so incomplete or incoherent that I’ll have to call you back anyway to figure out what the hell is going on.

If I send someone a text instead of voicemail, a lot will get it sooner because they check those at work/ during class. I needed my sisters new address the other day, so when she didn’t pick up, I figured she was at work and couldn’t – but when I sent her a text, 10 minutes later, I got a response. Had it been something bigger, probably not, but if it can be taken care of in 1 or 2 texts, people often do respond via text when they otherwise wouldn’t.

Oh, also, I’m not one of those girls who spent hours on the phone every night growing up, so I have a good amount of phone-phobia because I’m still not comfortable with talking on it, especially since the rules of etiquette change with every person. Those long awkward pauses? I HATE those.

I leave messages and people leave me messages, so I don’t have the same telephone experience as you do.

All right, so a lot of what I’m hearing is people get kind of stutter-y and don’t know what to say when the message pops up. That is reasonable, but I wonder what you do if you have something important to say but whomever you’re calling doesn’t pick up. Do you continue to call until they pick up? Do you assume they’ll call you back if they see that you’ve called? What if the information is time sensitive and you really do need them to get in contact with you as soon as possible?

Also, a lot of you seem to hate when someone leaves a message saying they just wanted to chat. Wouldn’t that let you know that you don’t actually need to call back? I instituted my “no message no call back” rule to avoid all the phone tag that seemed to happen.

@KatawaGrey If I have something important to say, I’ll leave a voicemail, but I’ll probably also text them, especially if it’s time sensitive.
No, the message won’t let me know I don’t need to call them back. If they had something important to say, they’d have left a message. Since they didn’t, I can assume I don’t need to call them back. A missed call but no message has an unspoken message of “it’s me, just checking in”. However, if it’s something like “I’m at the movie theatre and they gave me an extra ticket so if you can get here in the next 20 minutes, then great, otherwise disregard this message” then I WILL leave a message so they know to disregard the message.

@Minute_And_A_Huff: I think you and I are on the same page. If someone doesn’t leave a voice message but sends me a text, that’s perfect. However, I find that, as I said in my question, people just assume I’ll call them back no matter what. Since I don’t call back unless a message is left for me voice or text friends will often say, “Why didn’t you call me back?” to which I respond, “Why didn’t you leave a message or text me?”

@KatawaGrey It does kinda depend on the relationship I have with them already. Most of my friends I talk to online as well as see regularly in real life, so if we don’t get to chat, it’s no big thing. However, my sister lives far away and I don’t get to see her or talk with her too much, so I do leave her a message saying I wanted to chat because otherwise we will never, ever talk. Course, half the time she disregards the message no matter what it says and doesn’t call back, so YMMV.

@Minute_And_A_Huff: That’s very frustrating. I have friends like that who will not call back no matter how many times I call, leave messages or send texts. I also agree about the relationship. I will call my mom and my boyfriend back no matter what but everyone else must leave a message.

@KatawaGrey There’s probably an implied “call me the f*** back” if I call more than twice in a day. Usually it’s an actual emergency – I called a friend 10 times in 30 minutes after I’d been in a car accident but didn’t leave a message because (aside from being in a weird state of mind) I didn’t want her to hear it hours later and think I hadn’t gotten someone else to help and freak out.

But it’s really possible that your friends are just kinda flaky.

@Minute_And_A_Huff: Yeah, my friends are deeply flaky. I’m not actually talking to those people anymore. However, if someone calls me a bunch in a short span of time, I most definitely call them back because then it must be an emergency.