Parents : What quirky things do you sometimes say to your kids on those occasions when they may misbehave?

I say something like ‘Oh, look at my grumpy fish’ and he gets angry and says ‘No! I’m grumpyshark!’ and we all start to laugh.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Yeah that’s how ours usually end up. Can’t stay mad at them for long, if at all.

My husband calls the boys “sir” when he’s upset with them. It kind of cracks me up.

My kids know they are in for it when I use their full names. If they are only being silly, and not really in trouble, I threaten to hang them from the ceiling by their toenails or tickle them until they pee in their pants. Or, I’ll tell them they have to live on the roof. We always end up laughing because they know perfectly well I wouldn’t do any of those things.

My youngest child is so dramatic and verbally grandiose that his response to getting in trouble is usually a tirade that forces me to leave the room so he won’t see me laughing at him. Laughing either infuriates him or encourages him. When I have control of my facial features, I can deal with him appropriately. My husband and I spend a lot of time giggling over that child’s “speeches” when no one else is around.

i heard someone threaten, (kidding of course), “Stop! before I rip your arms off and beat you with them!”
I’ll bet the kid still has nightmares. Heck! I still have nightmares about that! .

@worriedguy My dad used to pick us up and pretend he was going to stuff us in the garbage, oven, or toilet. You’d think after a while we’d stop worrying he’d actually do it, but every single time we’d freak out JUST IN CASE. I don’t remember getting nightmares from it, and now I think it’s funny.

I say Chelsea bug, Look I am getting my angry eyes. stop.( my daughter’s name is Chelsea)

If it’s something that’s not particularly bad, just annoying to me at the moment, I simply go, “Raaahhhh!” and then I pick him up, turn him upside down, and shake him (lightly!). He gets a kick out of it.

If he’s throwing a 2 year old fit (That overly dramatic throw yourself on the ground like the world’s coming to an end, and refuse to move thing) I say “Oh, it’s the end of the world. Better get my cookies,” and I walk away. I very rarely get to the end of the grocery store aisle before he stops and is back on my heels. And then there’s the timeless “__Full Name__… One… two…” and he answers “Nai too da!” and rushes back over.

For other transgressions, I just tell him exactly what I want. And now, he does the same thing to me. If he sees me chewing on a pen, I get “Mama! Pity Dow!” (Spit it out!), or “Mama, Stop! All done.”

@worriedguy
Your answer reminded me of the one-armed man George Bluth Sr. used to use to scare his children teach his children a lesson, in Arrested Development.

I like this one I heard years ago:

I’m going to hang you by your toes and beat you into submission with an organic carrot!

nothing quirky in the words spoken, but the tone. think: that goldie hawn movie in the 1980s with kurt russell. for the life of me i cannot think of the title. but goldie hawn caught amnesia when she fell off a boat and was survived by hillbillies who saved her.

kurt russell had several young boys. one of the boys always spoke like he had a frog in his throat. that is the sound i use when i am trying to get my kids’ attention. works every time.

I used to tell them that, if they didn’t behave, I would say “Nee”.

and they behaved!

@charliecompany34 The movie was Overboard. I loved that movie. It was just a cute silly movie.

When I was a kid my mother used to threaten to sell me to gypsies several times a week. I have been a mother for going on twelve years now and a couple of days ago I actually heard those words come out of my mouth for the very first time. My son had absolutely no idea what I meant.

I once had to tell my oldest daughter “Don’t fold the cat.” I’ve told all my kids that I was going to drop-kick them out the back door and punt them around the yard. None of them ever believed me.

@Trillian You are going to have to explain the ‘don’t fold the cat’ to me.

Oh! I forgot one.

“Mom! Mom! Mama! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama!”

“Ian what?”

“Mama!”

“Mama ran away and joined the circus. Leave a message.”