What should I do in this situation? [read question]?

Ew, don’t go – I wouldn’t.

I’m with @Simone_De_Beauvoir on that, I probably wouldn’t go and give some overriding excuse.

Why would your elect to put yourself in an awkward situation for hours?

I would simply tell the hostess you are not able to attend.

Yes, I would decline. That just sounds crazy. Maybe if it were a bigger party but with only 6 guests it just sounds like a very unpleasant evening.

I would avoid it. I hate drama and stressful situations and will not put myself in the situation where I’m uncomfortable. Also, there will be plenty other women there, so the hostess should not have bad feelings if you do not attend.

I recommend not going as well. I assume alcohol will be there as well and that can make it worse.

Tell the hostess that you will be unable to attend due to a grizzly bear wrestling match you’re competing in….—I know that’s what I’d rather be doing—;)

mmm weird… only 5 women and you and 2 of them are ex friends?? mmm it sounds like they might put you in that situation on purpose… they want to torture you!!! i don’t think you should go…

There is nothing that says that, if invited to a dinner party, you must accept, or that you must explain your absence. “A prior commitment” should be enough if you sound wistful about missing it. It could be a prior commitment to clean our your closet of all the clothes that no longer fit, call all your elderly relatives, or have dinner with your parents. Or with yourself to stay home and recharge.

The most unfair question that anyone can ask is, “What are you doing this Saturday night?” If you respond, “nothing,” then you are on the hook for whatever they dish up. Answering, “I’ll have to check the calendar; what did you have in mind?” leaves you an out.

if it were a big party, like a wedding, i would say go, be civil, say hello to all and keep your distance. however, at a small party where it’s an intimate gathering, and everyone will be at the same table and lingering in the same spaces, i would not go. i would just tell her that you would love to come, but you have a previous engagement. now if you told her you would attend, and now are changing your mind, and feel obligated to explain, i would say i have a cousin that is coming from out of town, you just found out and will have to entertain her (or him). if the hostess says “oh that’s ok, bring her with you” then say “oh i wish i could but she wants to go to the city” or something like that.

Meh – blow it off and tell her you’re having your nostrils plucked.

“Am I being selfish for not wanting to go for my own needs?” Wanting to go for your own needs is being selfish. Woman sure get catty, no men involved? I say lead with your chin and restrain yourself. If you cant be friends with this woman, at least you’ll find that out. And if you can’t you have to be the one to cut her off.

I definitely would not be going but it would depend on how well I knew the hostess as to whether I told her or not. The reason I would consider telling her is so that when she plans things in the future you don’t have to feel you have to turn down all the time as she can arrange her parties to suit. I think as a hostess I would never want to feel my guests were uncomfortable.

say something came up. no way would I go, and as far as ‘fixing’ a close friendship like that, good luck.

go only if you want to be on edge for a whole evening – and why would you want to do that? sounds miserable. at some point we (myself included) have to put ourselves first – find some friends you do like and have a great evening somewhere else!