Do you think the clothing that is sold for young girls ("tweens") is too sexy and mature for their ages?

You mean “slut clothes”? Yep.

YES!!

I hate it, it makes me cringe all the time. My husband is even worse than me, he always jokes that he feels sorry for our daughter if we should ever have one.

Yes, seems the childlike aspect of kids has gone away these days. Many little girls look like lil madams!

Shit yes and it has been going on too long.

And, it is sad that it is hard for girls to find good, pretty, conservative clothing.

Sham on the manufacturers that are turning our little girls into sluts. And they (the girls) don’t even know it.
Being little girls.

Some of it, absolutely. Just another example of how short kids childhoods seem to be now. Let them stay kids for god’s sake. Whoosh, blink & you miss it.

Absolutely and it’s a concern for many parents (feminist and non-feminist alike) – these kids are being taken advantage of by industries who don’t give a shit about their psychological well-being, whatsoever.

That has always pissed me off. ^

But who is really to blame? After all it is the parents that buy it.

I had a son, but if I had a daughter I would rather make her clothing then have her ware most of the clothing that is out there.

@ChazMaz It’s like anything – everyone and no one is to blame and it’s a mix of outside factors and parental responsibility. I know some parents don’t have a clue and find no issue with buying their toddlers pedicure sets but they’re not bright in any other (health, nutrition) department either.

True.

Not as slutty as the clothes elementary school girls wore when I was a kid. I remember tube tops, skintight jeans and short shorts. I don’t remember much innocence amongst my peers and the ridiculing was huge for any of us “geek” kids who didn’t fit it (parents wouldn’t let us dress ourselves). Once I hit public school then the focus was all about looks and relationships versus academic competition and building friendships & alliances. I’d be a terrified parent if my kid had all this pressure to handle.

Dave Barry summed it up well. “The clothes are too slutty to be worn in a whorehouse.” That may not be exact but it’s close. It might have been work in a whorehouse.

Yes, definitely. The over-sexualisation of children is a sad sight. These industries are making huge money. The message being sent to young girls and boys is certainly not an empowering one.

I can’t add anything to all the Yes! comments above except HELL YES! And it’s not just fashion designers we have to blame. It’s the Internet, TV, the abundance of self-absorbed “role models” like Lindsay Lohan, and indulgent parents. Maybe we also have to blame food and drug companies whose additive, I’ve read, are causing girls as young as seven to develop the bodies (though not the emotional experience) of those much older.

@Austinlad It’s the presense of hormones in meat and dairy – certainly a troubling development.

Yep. So why do parents buy them? I also feel sorry for the 12 year old boys in their class.

@stardust touched on the underlying issues:

The inappropriate sexualization of children.

The profit motive is driving the marketing of sexualized children as products in their advertising and marketing to retail outlets. They drive the demand and control the supply of clothing for this age group.

Parents and others concerned about the welfare of children, tweens and young adolescents must write to manufacturers and head offices of retail chains with their concerns and expectations. If they know what clothing options are expected and demanded by those who ultimately pay for these products (parents and guardians), they will respond to consumer demands.

Talking about it here only makes a difference if you find a way to make your voices heard where decisions are made.

Find other concerned individuals and combine forces to make your message heard.

@worriedguy Parents (and I say this, as one) buy what’s in stores near them and what’s cheap – they don’t have the luxury of looking on the internet for European designers and fancy boutiques that have nice clothing. I have the same issue because I need clothing that isn’t uber-gendered, I hate the whole ‘glitter princess’ shit on girls’ stuff and ‘look, I like cars!’ on boys’ stuff and I can’t find clothing anywhere and I’m persistent. If I find something, it’s expensive!

@worriedguy… and I would add I’m concerned for the harmone-driven guys in higher grade levels not emotionally mature enough to understand how young these girls are.

my daughter just turned 3 but she’s tall for her age and she’s in the 5 to 6x size, and we’re moving very close to the “no longer toddler styles” which is scary, because she’s still a toddler, and the clothes she’s moving into are more tween-y looking.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

The oversexualization of young girls is something that I consider to be heinous. We decry honor killings and yet…in the West….we have young girls prancing around next to naked and wearing mascara and makeup at age 7–10. Is this not also an “honor killing” of sorts…the cheapening and death of a young girl’s innocence?

It is very prevalent here in the UK. One evening a few years ago, I was out late with a friend and stopped outside a hotel when I heard a familiar voice say, “Hi!” and I looked and had to blink twice to recognize who it was. It was a young student I had befriended when she went by my house walking home from school. She was all of nine at the time, and we would talk over the fence sometimes as she scurried home. This girl who (by my calculation of the last time I had seen her) was now 11 years old…was wearing a very revealing tank top, heels, full makeup and carrying a handbag with a Playboy logo. Her hair was done up in a topknot and everything about her said, “Available.” At 11!!! When I asked her, “What are you doing out so late on a school night?” It was about ten. She answered, “Oh my friend and I were out at the pub…it’s my birthday!” And she giggled. I was gobsmacked.

Where the hell were these girls parents? Think she didn’t have their permission? She did.

I think it is appalling, but I think that overly revealing fashion is inappropriate at most any age. I am so tired of seeing womens’ butts sticking out of too tight hip hugging shorts and jeans. Kids up to a certain age usually imitate their parents and if mom is wearing a see through shirt and skimpy shorts, then when the kid plays dress up that is what she is going to wear. It might be good to have a full length mirror beside the door and have a look before we venture out.

Oh and by the way….I like Madonna. But I felt that her “Material Girl” line with it’s suggestive photos of a woman chained to a fence…even if the clothes were designed by her daughter…they were just too tarty. From what I can ascertain, Lola is a lovely, well-mannered young girl, so this is not a reflection on her. It looks a lot like what Madonna was wearing in her 20’s…not what a young girl should be wearing as a tween/teen. Perhaps that’s why the line is called “Material Girl” and not “Material Daughter”. She says Lola designed it herself….hmmm? Methinks mom was micro-managing every moment. Madonna missed the mark on this one. Even if the clothing sells well (as it probably will) she should really have known better. With all her spirituality and her work with good causes…the sexualization of young girls is something she should oppose.

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My wife was “indisposed” for a period of time and I had to take my step-daughter clothes shopping. I was totally out of my depth, but I came up with a handy rule of thumb: if she picked something out that I would’ve liked to see her mother wear, then she wasn’t getting it.

So, yeah, I have to agree with everyone else here.

And don’t forget, Halloween is coming up.

@DarlingRhadamanthus How can we make sure this discussion deepends without making it all about ‘slut-shaming’ to so speak? I have issues with people policing what women wear and this isn’t directed at you, just at anyone, but when we talk about these matters, it’s too easy to just talk about ‘slut this’ and ‘slut that’ without realizing that that, in itself, is part of the problem.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I didn’t have daughters so I have no idea what is actualy in the stores. It seems there just has to be cheap, reasonable items out there. What about last year’s stuff? Goodwill? Consignment shops? Or do girls not acept that?
My boys didn’t notice if clothes were used or not they just put on what was clean.

@Austinlad I am with you. What about the 12 year old who dresses and acts like a 16 year old. Boys don’t stand a chance.

@Simone de Beauvoir…

First of all, I am very liberal socially…if I came across as being a Bible-thumping, cotton/bonnet wearing church lady, I assure you I am not. Truthfully, I do go to church, but it is a church that bases its beliefs on inclusion…not exclusion. (And please, if anyone thumps their bible and goes to a fundamentalist church, I am not meaning to offend you either, okay? sheesh.) I also know about “Sacred Prostitutes” and the role of someone like that in society throughout the ages. I am not talking about that nor dishonoring that whole societal segment. I hear what you say in that the word “s—-” is probably a word that is shame-based. I had not thought of that. I don’t think of it that way. I used it as an “adjective” not a “noun”. I take it on board.

I agree that WOMEN should wear whatever they want…even if they look like sausage squeezed into a plastic bag. Why? Because they are women and are at an age to decide for themselves. Unfortunately, young girls who dress up in provocative clothing are simply out there as targets for men who are predators. I am not saying that girls do this on purpose most just like to dress up that way…but they are in the line of fire. I fear for the young girls who do this. I have worked with women who have been targeted (in all ways possible.) I have seen horror stories. My complaint is not about the right to wear the clothing, nor the morality of that right (let’s make this clear). It is about putting young girls out in the streets to attract the loonies who can hurt them. Most are then objectified, treated as dispensible and they are targets for men’s unhealed unconscious expressions. It’s sad, but true.

I agree that WOMEN should dress as they want. But young girls, underage girls should be encouraged to find ways to dress that are expressive but still not provocative. If that isn’t possible, then they should take a class or two in self-defense.

(Let me use the word “provocative” in order not to provoke more ire.)

It wierds me the fuck out, honestly.

In the end, it’s not my problem, though, and more of a parenting issue. (read: a lot of parents suck these days)

my daughter won’t wear some of it, it’s embarrassing to her. and she’s in catholic school and can’t wear the shorts and ripped jeans and revealing tops any way. I don’t see too much of it around here

I must admit I have to agree with all of the above. My daughter is three. I bought her some underwear.I got to chose of bikini, low cut, brief, and stuff at Target.What three year old needs sexy underwear? Hmmm?

I think it might have gotten a bit better than it used to be. But, still the clothes are not for little kids.

As the parent of an 11 year old girl, I can say that it is harder and harder to find decent clothes for a “tween.” Not impossible, but the trick is to have her try on every single article of clothing. Sometimes a pair of jeans will look OK until she puts them on, and then it is clear they are way too low-slung in the hips. Some tops look acceptable at first, but turn out to be too tight or too short. It makes shopping a big exhausting.

Oh, and finding shorts that aren’t short is such a pain. :(

As for the issue of looking like a “slut,” I don’t think little girls see it that way. They want to look like the tween or teen girls they see on TV, and many of them typically have a bare midriff. They don’t associate the look with sex, but probably do learn quickly that “look” gets attention from boys. It’s up to the parents to teach daughters that if they look like they want sexual attention, they are going to get it. It’s also up to parents to attempt to teach boys that even though a girl may look sexy to them, it doesn’t mean she is interested in sex or wants their attention. Being open about peer pressure, the desire to fit in and attract attention from possible dating partners, the unfair stereotypes of “sluts” vs. “studs,” and how to appropriately handle sexual advances from other tweens or teens is critical. Not all parents are comfortable with the job. Not all parents realize that their kids may not show up at school wearing the clothes they left the house in.

Oh yes, having a daughter is so much fun. ;)

My husband’s cousin is married to a wonderful woman whose sister has a daughter about year older than ours. Sometimes we see her at family events. This past Christmas, I was shocked to see this little girl, who was 11 at the time, looking like she was 14 or 15. She was wearing makeup, had a bigger chest than I do, wore tight clothing, and disdained the company of the other kids at the party that were within a year or so of her age. Anyone who did not know her would think she was much older. If she is comfortable looking and behaving like an older girl, I hope to God her mother is teaching her how to respond to being treated like an older girl. I can imagine a 16 year old boy at the mall would look at her and easily think she was close enough in age to pay attention to.

The way the question is worded is interesting. Had it said, “Do you think the clothing that is for sale to young girls (“tweens”) is too sexy and mature for their ages?”, then the blame would be on the manufacturers, marketers and companies that attempt to sell them. In my opinion, that is where the blame should lay.

The use of “sold” in the question takes on a different meaning, and it places the blame where it is deserved…with the parents that either buy or allow their children to buy and wear such adornments.

My guess is, at that age, most females do not know how male hormones work and what the effect is…at least I didn’t. For females, it is an age where peer pressure kicks in, and is up to the parent(s) to control the situation and educate.

Honestly, I don’t really know if it any worse today than it was when I was growing up. We wore hip-huggers, tube-tops, halters, and bikinis…but at that age, the majority of us were prepubescent. As several have pointed out, that has changed over the years. I have little exposure to the youth of today, but from what I’ve seen out in public, particularly at the mall, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen something that has made me do a double-take.

@Austinlad: I believe you about the hormones in foods because in my family then few women “developed” until late teen or early 20’s until they started eating fast foods and a diet of primarily grocery store foods in the late 70’s. My partner’s 15yr old daughter looks like she’s already in her 20’s, I can’t imagine if he and his ex wife also allowed her to dress like other high school girls. Yikes.

Yes, I think they are way too revealing for their age also. My dad would get a belt after me if I wore that when I was their age. Lol.

@Austinlad You may be interested in watching this documentary, the title is self-explanatory, Baby Bloomers: When puberty hits young

@Mom2BDec2010 Sorry your dad used a belt on you – that’s sad.

Since probably very few of these kids are working to buy their own clothes, it still comes back to parents. Don’t blame manufacturers if parents didn’t buy they wouldn’t manufacture.

@rooeytoo 2 things: again, parents have to buy something, they can’t not just get their kids clothing; don’t underestimate the power of kids’ choices on parents and the power of the industries knowledge of how to take advantage of kids and their likes and dislikes.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir … don’t underestimate the power of… the industry’s knowledge of how to take advantage of kids and their likes and dislikes.

I would like to add also the power of industry, in tandem with the media, to shape the likes and dislikes of children, and not only children…

@Simone_De_Beauvoir – I would never underestimate the power of kids over their parents, I see it everytime I go out the door. But I do think it is so lame to blame all on manufacturers. In the end parents should still be able to say no and that is the end of it.

I don’t know about USA but here stores have plenty of plain t shirts and shorts in nice colors and reasonable styles and usually are less expensive than the ones with the horrific (or gender specific) graphics on the front. I know this for a fact since I am a little squirt and often buy there myself.

But I know, I am old and was raised in an age when the relationship between parent and child was a lot different than today. And I don’t necessarily think that was a bad thing.

@rooeytoo I was not ‘blaming it all on manufacturers’ if you re-read my comments.