What are some big turn offs when going out on a date?
Describe a horrible date you have had in the past or just something that is a big no- no in your book.
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A guy who leaves too small of a tip.
I like to bring my mum along.
Talking on the cell phone for mre than 30 seconds!
I went on a date with a guy that talked about his ex the whole time. That was our first and only date.
“What is some big turn offs when going out with you on a date?”
Wait, you mean what the other party finds a turn off in me, or what i think is a turn off when i date someone?
What’s a date? haha
It’d really piss me off when past gfs were extra special crabby a-holes when I had sprung for a night that was a little more upscale or expensive when that kind of behavior rarely or never happened on “normal” dates.
I’m with @jonsblond on texting. If you’re going to agree to go on a date, your arm shouldn’t be attached to your phone (in fact, I’ve used mine as an escape from dates that are going poorly before.) It’s also off-putting when people are overeager to agree with me about everything. It’s cool that we have stuff in common… but please don’t yell “No way! Me too!” after everything I say.
@TheOnlyNeffie Does it depend on the degree of self-deprecation?
@muppetish yes, it does, actually. Someone that can laugh at themselves or be honest… that would be a good trait. It’s the genuine, low self esteem, fishing for compliments that turns me off. I just like a bit of confidence.
@rebbel What do you think are some turn offs , Rebel? Name some turnoff that you have experienced or would be on a date.
@TheOnlyNeffie Gotcha. That’s exactly what I was wondering. I don’t think I could listen to someone who was fishing for compliments either. That sounds more like a therapy session than a date.
I once went on a date with a man I’d built a strong emotional bond with ahead of any face to face romance. We’d been out several times already, always a great time but this one night we left a restaurant and he noticed his ex wife was following us in her car back to his house where his kids were waiting for us. The tone of his voice got all girly and shrieky in panic as he made sharp turns through the neighborhood and then hustled me inside while yelping at the kids to check the windows and slider doors because his ex was known to carry a firearm. We didn’t go out anymore after that.
I lost respect for the man who would panic while I was held captive in his car and then panic his kids who had no idea what was going on. The ex never did materialize or call his celly so I never knew whether or not to believe she’d really been in the restaurant parking lot lurking us and then following us home. I tried to not date after that.
The worst date I was ever on was a blind one with a guy who only gave me barely three-syllable answers to multi-part questions about himself. And I’m talking things, like, where he went to school and why did he move to NYC, that sort of thing. But then when we left the cafe after cutting the date short, he tried to grope and kiss me at the entrance to my train station. I’d only met him that evening! O_o
A big turn off for me would be (and is) if my date, after drinking several (alcoholic) drinks, took out her car keys and made for her car.
Or for that matter, when she didn’t drink but would let herself be chauffeured by someone who did, then too it would be a turn off.
Making me wait more than 20 minutes without an apology.
@Neizvestnaya WOW! I can’t imagine. Sound like he did a 180. You were smart to stop seeing him.
I once had dinner with a charming, interesting nice looking man, things seemed good until a busboy accidently bumped him (very slightly). This guy went off on that poor kid, complained to the manager and demanded that the bus boy be fired. He then tried to carry on the conversation as if nothing had happened. I walked out after telling him off. My dad once said to me: “Someone who is nice to you, nice to his peers and nice to your friends, but is not nice to a clerk or a server is NOT a nice person.” Found that to be very true.
I went on a date and the girl wore a Polka Dot dress and I don’t mean with just little dots, BIG RED SPOTS!! EWWWW!!
These are some of my turn-offs:
*The term “Going dutch” annoys me. I don’t mind pitching in, it’s the term.
*Talking about the EX
*When a guy acts like he’s getting some on the first date at the begining of the date.
*When it seems like they are hiding something. Like they don’t want to get to know me cause they just want to get laid.
*Stupidity
*Homophobia
*When the first date was awesome and on the second date they have more confidence and act like a different person. What’s with the front? Where’d the first guy go?
When someone fishes for compliments; when they make fun of others; when they are into drinking—uh uh, buh-bye.
- Smoking.
– One word answers to multi-layered questions. ”@aprilsimnel” knows what I’m talking about.
– Dead conversation, or the inability to talk about anything other than TV shows and pop music. Not always anyone’s fault—more or less an incompatibility issue. A good conversation seems to be everything for me during the date, to me, it determines whether or not we’ll be having anymore dates in the future.
– Rudeness of any kind in public.”@JilltheTooth” knows what I’m talking about.
– Texting. Okay, one or two is cool but throughout the entire evening?
– Bragging. Okay, I get it, you have a life and you want me to like you. Get over yourself, tone it down and lets eat.
- I make exceptions, I’m not perfect by any means and I’m sure there are things I do that could be annoying or might be perceived as a turn off. We all have our preferences, though, and these are only mine.
The turn-offs have pretty much been covered here, so I’ll speak to the details of your post by describing some specific dates. Most were blind dates, but not all:
* The date who spent the whole meal talking about the woman he met in a gas station parking lot, moved in with him, and suddenly left while he was at work to move back in with her husband who was several states away. It was a fascinating story, but since he was still broken-hearted over her, clearly not yet ready to move on.
* The guy who, on the first date, told me about his two ex-wives. One wasn’t good in the bedroom, and #2 supposedly hated his child. Meanwhile, he kept putting his hand on my thigh. It was sort of creepy.
* The guy who, on the first date, told me that he had two sons. One was biologically his; the second was biologically the son of his wife and her sister’s husband. Personally, I admire him for taking the child on his own, but it was a bit TMI for a 1st date considering that the son didn’t know.
* This one, I have to admit, is really shallow. A co-worker fixed me up with his roommate. The guy showed up and immediately asked to use the bathroom. When I walked past it a few minutes later, the fumes wafting out about knocked me over. We went to dinner and then a movie. The guy passed more gas than you can possibly imagine the whole night. I will never be able to watch the movie Brazil again without thinking of “Fartin’ Martin”.
Bad manners covers it all in two words ;)
@Pied_Pfeffer Throughly enjoyed your stories! especially fartian Martian. LOL.
If she smokes, texts or doesn’t like me. ;-)
When my date is the driver and insists on driving around and around to avoid paying a few bucks for a parking garage instead. My best driving date insisted on us meeting in a paid, well lit parking lot and exited first so he could pay for both of our cars.
When my date eats so fast that I’m less than halfway done and he asks if I’m “ready to go”. Ready to go where? I’m still enjoying chewing my food! Also when because my date ate so fast the server asks if we’re done so they can take the plates and he says yes.
The date who tells me ahead of time he’s taking me to a very nice place that usually takes reservations but he hasn’t made one for our date. It’s kind of awkward to be all dressed up and looking forward to something and then being treated like they’ll fit you in somewhere.
A date who admires my grooming but has very obviously neglected their own.
A date who is plainly on drugs or already been drinking. I take it as a personal insult they didn’t really look forward to spending time with me but added me to their party schedule instead.
A date who answers the celly to talk update the meeting up later time with their buddies.
Wow, I didn’t realize I’d been on so many lousy dates and I didn’t realize how many chances I’d given a few people to show me something better about themselves. I’m glad I don’t date anymore.
@Neizvestnaya I must say that is a impressive list. I can’t believe now a days the way people act.
*The date who came to my house with a 6 pack of beer and wanted to drink them before dinner.
*The date that took me to lunch and talked non-stop about himself, but never once looked at me, was to busy looking at every woman that came in the restaurant, regardless of her appearance.
*The guy that, upon finding out I worked in the same building as his ex-wife, could not wait to pick me up at the front door in his corvette. He was going to call her at work to tell her to look out the window to see who he was with. (This never happened, I walked out).
*The guy that knew my name when he asked me out, but asked me if he could call me something else because he didn’t like my name. No, circle the block and drop me back home.
@Neizvestnaya I think we could match each other one for one on lousy dates.
@chyna He actually said he didn’t like your NAME! Oh Gosh.
@chyna
@Frenchfry
I found these guys had a commonality in usually asking me why I wasn’t already snapped up and married… doh, I kept getting sidetracked with wackos!
@Neizvestnaya Sidetracked with wackos!! LOL
@chyna I still think it is bad form to say that on a date…whatever or unusal you name might be. I had a friend named Urania. I thought that was unusual. But I would never disrespect her and say I disliked it.
I haven’t been on all that many dates when I date, the guy usually ends up being my boyfriend but I did have this one date that was a doozy.
I had a date with this guy everyone called “Muscles” so I called him Muscles too. We had one of those all day dates where we went to a movie, a music store, and got something to eat. This was before I could drive so he was doing all the driving. he was so sweet. During the movie he asked, very politely, if he could put his arm around me then asked if he could kiss me. I thought the date went very well. I tried to call him during the week but he wouldn’t return my calls or texts. After about three days, I got the hint and moved on, sadder but wiser. A few days after I had given up, he asked me out again. I was ecstatic. The problem? I was sick. I felt like I was going to puke all day but I said I’d go out with him again anyway. The next day, I woke up feeling fine so I agreed to go out with him again.
He picked me up at my house and took me to his house. We went up to his room and he had laid out a whole bunch of movies he thought I might like. We started watching one and were cuddling. The cuddling lead to some pretty serious making out. At one point the movie had ended he stopped the making out and said, “Katawa, I have something I need to tell you.” I thought he was going to tell me he was a virgin, which I already knew the friend who had set us up told me so I wouldn’t try and take things too fast. Nope. He said, “I’m not looking for a relationship right now.” I was floored. And then, instead of taking me home, he insisted we hang out in his room for another hour looking at stuff online! Naturally, he fed me the line, “You’re one of the coolest girls I know and I hope we can still be friends.” That was the most awkward car ride home ever. I got my revenge though. Apparently, I was still sick even though I felt fine. He missed two days of work because he was puking.
Okay, so not a terribly bad date, but it mostly sucked because the guy just wanted to make out with me and I really liked him.
@KatawaGrey I am glad you got him sick. He should of made his intentions clear the first time. Great story
@chyna—I’ve gotten the name one too. I have a traditionally male name. Once I went on a date with a guy who said that he was a “True Southern Gentleman” and couldn’t bear to call a woman by a man’s name. To this day I’m like—too polite to do that yet NOT to polite to make snarky comments about my name right to my face.
@muppetish I’ve also had the “quick to agree with” date that annoyed me to death. This is terrible, but one guy was so bad that I started making up ridiculously silly but strong opinions just to see how far he’d go.
Anyhoo.. I once went out with 3 guys in a row who were obsessed with talking about their various toilet woes. Two were constipated and one had the opposite problem. Mmmm let’s sit down to dinner and talk about bowel movements!
I went out with another guy who decided to talk about Diablo for several hours straight—and this was back before I ever played it. I don’t think I’d even heard of the game before he mentioned it.
I don’t date girls with nose rings or tattoos on the face.
@Pied_Pfeffer.. Aww, poor guy lol. He probably ate something that didn’t agree with him and couldn’t help it. I feel for him, that sucks. He was probably mortified
Okay, so I have never really “dated,” but my prom date asked me out to the movies one evening. We didn’t know each other very well and got matched up for prom through a mutual friend. He was really nerdy and socially awkward, but I thought he was funny and smart, so I gave him a shot. I was really really dreading the movie date, knowing it’d be awkward as hell, but I went (this was before prom). Guess what? It was awkward as hell. I seriously wanted to die the entire time, from start to finish. First of all, the kid couldn’t drive. COULD. NOT. DRIVE. It was like I was in a bad cartoon where he was some old geezer. He did the rapid back and forth motion with the wheel. Really? Drove like, 20 mph. Went under the speed limit on the highway. During the movie, I had my arms folded so he wouldn’t try anything. After the movie, we waited for my friend to get out of work cause we were all gonna go to a party together. Of course my friend took forever, and we had nothing to talk about. We stood around for a good half hour barely speaking. The party was mortifying. Everyone knew we’d been on a date because one of my friends has a huge mouth. So they kept asking us about it, and I felt so stupid. We didn’t talk to each other much the entire time, kinda just sat there. You can imagine how prom went. I steered clear of him all night, and found excuses each time he asked me to dance. I seemed terrible, but I really just could not stand him.
So, in summary: I need a guy who I’m comfortable with, who is confident and comfortable with himself, who doesn’t drive like an idiot, isn’t paralyzingly awkward.
@le_inferno I felt bad for him as well. At least I stayed for the duration. He never asked me out again. Maybe it was personal embarrassment…maybe it was me. I hope it was the former and not the latter.
When he pulls out his “shortcoming” in the parking lot and says: “See how small it is?”
First and last date.
I believe in being truthful…but there is a limit.
(I wish this was fiction folks…it isn’t.)
A big problem for is that girls want to have sex 5 minutes after we meet!... why can’t girls love me for my mind?
@Tomfafa….LOL….oh you poor dear…! Everyone come give Tomfafa a group ((((((hug)))))))
@chyna…Great answer! :)
Sorry @Tomfafa….We don’t want you to misinterpret our gesture of friendship…nor mar your need to be respected for your intellect.
What to do? What to do? :(
@Tomfafa….as Mae West would say, “Do you mean, funny as in ha-ha or funny as in fa-fa?” :)
((((((((((((((((((((((((little hug so that it won’t be misinterpreted and no fa-fa-fa-ing either)))))))))))))))))))
Mae West said that? Not sure what it means… but I know Mae was a slut (I read it in a book)
...
I love chyna though…
I love @chyna, too! She is a great Jelly!
(Mae West actually was quite brilliant. I was being humorous.)
I have no doubt about Mae… but she was a horndog!
Same here @chyna how’s the pooch?
Great. She’s loving that I’ve been off work for a while.
I forget… she is a boxer?
Yes. A very sweet boxer, Molly. You been vacationing in interesting spots lately?
Every time a bell rings she goes to a corner?
Sadly no… I think I really blew my chance in high school, twenty years ago.
BUT… the stories I have… you guys are lucky compared to me.
Do tell. That’s what this thread is about….
OY…. well….
My mama said
You cant hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don’t come easy
Its a game of give and take
You cant hurry love
No, you just have to wait
You got to trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes
But how many heartaches
Must I stand before I find a love
To let me live again
Right now the only thing
That keeps me hangin on
When I feel my strength, yeah
Its almost gone
When I was in my late teens a guy I had never met before (although we had arranged to go out on that occasion) came to pick me up, he was wearing shoes and no socks, at the time I found this an absolute turnoff… I was not rude to him but suffice to say he left my home alone…a harmless turnoff but a turnoff nonetheless.
Chewing with the mouth open.I don’t want to see it or hear it. That noise is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Ay.
First and foremost, poor personal hygiene…yuk!
The Ex shows up
It’s that time of the month
Forget her name
She’s trying to make me join Scientology
Her parents are there
Cell phone addiction, amongst other things.
A date a couple of summers ago that I took to a local nice restaraunt on the river near my house was obsessed with some biz. call he was waiting on.
I got the full monty of his work addiction that first meeting.
The call he had been waiting on came in but he was unable to get reception in the canyon so he actually LEFT ME sitting alone in the restaurant for 30 minutes while he drove around looking for reception!
Unbelievable! ;-/
@chyna Yours have got to be among the worst on here.
Boy; its been a century since I dated. I will say, if I accepted a date, I already felt it wouldn’t be all that bad. But thank God texting was before my time. I couldn’t stand for a date to be texting; I think one time would drive me up a wall. Just for dating, I’d accept smoking; I wouldn’t care. Talking about the ex? I’d get even when that started. I could out-talk any breathing thing on the ex. Some of it would be ok with me. I can’t wait to hear Coloma’s post, above.
I’ve already posted on one of the worst: the guy who was recently dumped who never said one single word to me from the time I showed up , all though the football game, to the time he dropped me off. Funny, in a way. His buddy fixed us up.
I have to think of another one or three.
These stories are awful. I’m floored.
@Aster To expand a bit on the guy who brought the six pack to my house – He asked me to drive because he had lost his license due to too many DUI’s. (Seriously, who would’ve guessed~). He had driven to my house. I chose not to continue the date.
I have so many bad date stories that I could write a small book.
Oh, and there are always the ones that want to come right over as soon as I mention I have a hot tub! lol
Sure…I always get naked in the hot tub on a first date!
Penthouse forum fantasies are alive and well.
Oh, and every guy I HAVE ever invited over ALWAYS asks if they can get naked in the tub.
Um, no…..hang onto your shorts…I really don’t want your weenie floating around in my tubby when I hardly even KNOW you! lol
These guys are assuming just a Tad too much, methinks? LOL !
dreamers If it were me, I’d never mention the hottub again.
@Aster
Yeah, I’ve learned that!
Give a dog a bone. lol
@Coloma Oh, well; as your “Tolle” would say, “it happened in the past, but there isn’t a past so it didn’t happen. Is that what he says? Or maybe he says, “it happened in the past so never let it cross your mind again and don’t think of preventing it the future because we can’t predict the future.”—he is too deep for me, Coloma— I obviously am not getting Tolle’s point.
@Aster
LOL
You’re getting it!
And you’re right!
The past is gone forever.
He also says to only speak of the past if it pertains to the present moment, sooo, I’m on track.
The present moment of this queston made it allowable to speak of past experiences. haha
How about , “we are not our minds. we are separate beings from our minds and when we live only in the moment we have found
the Being.” well , I guess I’ll not be finding the Being because So many foreboding things that are happening now happened in the past and since they may happen in the future too, and probably will , it’s asking the impossible for me not to make the correlation. (snif; onto the next book).
Is he a Buddhist?
Next in this series, we will discuss the High Powered Theologians and Doctorates of Biblical Whatevers who say the word “eyewitness” too much. Almost as if They were an eyewitness which would make them 2K yrs old.
The guy who near the end of our fantastic dinner and swimming under the stars date asked me to come with him to his dad’s church. Scree!
Here’s another:
I once dated a guy who seemed to be a little old lady trapped in a man’s body. We went out to dinner and he brought some Metamucil and spooned it into his water glass. At least he didn’t TALK about WHY he was taking it, unlike the other three guys I mentioned!
He noticed that the restaurant had little desserts that were in shot glasses and actually called the manager to the table and started lecturing him about how CHILDREN eat in this restaurant and these desserts served in shot glasses encouraged little kids to glamorize alcohol. Poor corrupted youth of today. Then he spent the rest of the time complaining about the loud “rock and roll racket” that was playing on the “juke box” I swear I think he was channeling my great grandmother.
@keobooks
Haha Metamucil…oh my, wonders never cease!
I forgot about the control freak as well, told me what drink to order, what entree to order and when I excused myself to go to the restroom he told me I should brush my hair!
I have GREAT hair, wtf? lol
1st & last, of course.
@Coloma I have great Hair wtf? hahaha Love it.
@Coloma….Some reception! Amazing…how rude of this guy. That pretty much told you what your life would be like with someone like him…in just a dinner, eh?
@Aster….I know…and he did it in mid-sentence…we are sitting in the car talking about some totally mundane subject——the weather maybe…and out of the blue, he unzips and does the (little) reveal: ” See how small it is?”
Uh, yes, dear, I do. Buh-bye. He was not interesting, so it wasn’t as if I wanted anything in the first place!
To add another story:
There was the guy I went out with….who drove me home….I went inside and was about to start undressing to get ready for bed…and there was a knock on the door:
“Do you have money for gas?” he asked. “I don’t have enough to get home.”
What????????
I shoved a bill through the door which was still on a safety latch. Go away, please!
@Coloma didnt that moron in the car make u nervous?? I had a little guy I barely knew walk me halfway to class and blurt out in this sad voice how small “it” was and I didn,t say a word.
I wonder now if he wanted me to request a private showing? I never saw him again.
I had thought guys in college were going to be mature but I was So wrong.
Got a new one from a friend of mine. He went out with a woman with a very BAD fake accent. He thinks she was trying to sound Australian because she said “No worries, mate” a lot, but it did’s sound Aussie at all. He tried to get her to stop, but she got really offended when he mentioned it.
Thing is, the woman who set them up worked with the fake Aussie—she didn’t have an accent at work at all. He said it was really weird,
@Aster,....No he did not make me nervous. We were both adults…and he was just a really strange person. I looked at him and said, “Oh…ewwww….put that away, please.” He was very, very embarrassed (as well he should have been.) We had met at a workshop and he seemed nice enough…so we met for dinner a week afterwards. I wasn’t really interested in him romantically. He was newly divorced. I am guessing he had not dated in years….and he didn’t know that this wasn’t normal protocol. :)
How tolerant of you, loll He thought it was normal?? LOL
@DarlingRhadamanthus
@Aster
Hahahaha…yep, I have been shown the smallest of the small, and then, well…the largest of the large. Both resulted in ‘GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME! hahahaha
( I should explain more, but, suffice it to say, there was no unkindness going on, just shock, talk about tact, grace and diplomacy…I think I did alright. lol )
These are all incredible stories… I beat them all. It got so bad for me I decided to see a psychiatrist. After a few sessions and a lot of cash… he chuckled and said ‘just have fun!’ Soooo… wee haa! I am.
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