I have no sex drive..what could cause this?
I’m seventeen and I have no sex drive whatsoever. I joke about sex and stuff, but I don’t care for or even want to have sex. I mean at seventeen..shouldn’t my hormones be going crazy? All of my friends are having sex non-stop and they have strong sex drives. I feel like something is wrong and I don’t know what it is. I’m bored with people, I’m bored with myself and now-a-days nothing is peaking my interest. Sex isn’t the only thing that seems boring and stupid to me. Is there something wrong?
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Could you be depressed? Sometimes our emotional state can have a big say in what our sexual state is.
I would say that unless your periods are irregular (or missing completely), I wouldn’t be too concerned about the hormonal aspect. I am assuming you are female judging only by your avatar, forgive me if I’m mistaken.
You saying that you’re bored with yourself and have a general lack of interest makes me think this might be an emotional thing more than a hormonal thing. I’m not a doctor, but I don’t think it would be a bad idea to discuss this with one. Never hurts to ask. :)
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Nothing is wrong with you. Maybe you have some intelligence to go with your hormones.
I agree with @TheOnlyNeffie. A general feeling of listlessness and lack of enthusiasm are closely related to depression. There is nothing wrong with having little or no sex drive, but it may be an indicator that you are less likely to be excited by anything, in which case there may be larger issues at play.
Don’t worry too much though. The spectrum of depression is very broad, and a large proportion of the population live right on the edge without ever seeking help. For some people it isn’t necessary to seek help, while others need help to keep them on the right track.
Some medications can cause decreased sex drive. Depression can cause it. Feeling listless, no passion about anything, can cause it. People who find their passions in life, and/or are in vigorous health, can feel a lift in libido. Were you interested, and this is a drop, a change? If not, each comes into their own, in their own time. It might be that your time, hasn’t come yet. Realize, it’s kind of nice to have that ahead of you and you can relax and enjoy your life, as it is right now. Starting to have sex is a corner, once you turn, your life is different, can present new problems, pressures. Don’t be fooled by talk of others. Later in life, it’s not unusual for someone to look back and wish they’d realized how nice life was, when it wasn’t complicated by sex, and relaxed and enjoyed that simpler life. It’s always a good idea to have a check up, to rule out any health issues, and talk to a medical person who will take the time to listen to your concerns. You may find, though, nothing actually is wrong with you. It’s a cliche’, I know (but the older I get, the more I come to appreciate them), “You have your whole life ahead of you.”
Rule out medical causes first:
Age -your sexual peak won’t occur until you are in your forties. You might be quite the dynamo by then.
Illness-diabetes, weight gain, fibriod tumors etc. Get a physical and discuss the problem with your doctor. I know pain from a urinary tract infection would make anyone want to lay off instead of on for a couple of weeks. Also I knew a woman who had to have her hyman surgically removed before penetration could occur.
Rule out definition:
Your definition of a dynamo and your friends might be on different scales.
You may also need love and or romance in connection with arrousal. Empty might not be your thing.
Rule out Mental Illnesses:
Depression, stress, developmental delay (Aspergers Syndrome)
Rule out guilt from traumatic experience (rape), religion, parental expectations,
Rule out fear: Fear of men, diseases, or pregnancy
Rule out opportunity: Not having the money to get new duds to date, or go Dutch can hamper a style, or not having the money to hang out in the places boys your age go could be a factor.
Rule out confidence: Confidence in your own body as being desireable. Remember the mind is the sexiest organ in the human body. If you don’t feel comfortable in your own skin it’s hard to be attractive. You’ve seen the plane Janes who get the guys simply they have confidence.
Love yourself first.
And finally, you are only 17, there’s nothing wrong with waiting. I was 20 when I first “did it”. What’s the rush? Peer pressure can be a stressor as well. At this time you should be concentrating on making good gal friends, as they will be the ones to pick up the pieces when the guys are gone later in your life. They will also be the ones you hang with when your guy is off with his guys or you want to keep from him taking you for granted. Now is the time to prepare yourself for your future; college, trade whatever. A man under 25 is unlikely to marry, so unless you want “empty” why fuss with it?
Concentrate on the meaning in the relationships with the boys. Most girls like the characters of Bella and Edward from “Twilight: becase they have romance and love and not just sex drive. Can you imagine the story without those two components…boring. Instead we have Edward telling Bella that she is his life now-that’s definetely not boring. That may be what your life is missing.
Until your 17th birthday it is actually illegal for you to have sex in NY state. Supposedly you are incapable of giving consent until you 17. Depending upon the age of the partner it could be a felony – Rape 3rd. Maybe there isn’t a illegal to legal.
Take your time. Diet, exercise, and general health can all have an effect.
You simply haven’t met the right person…
Here is the reference for my statement above: NYS Penal code
When you do get your drive back, make sure you are not doing it with a 16 year old.
ducky…...irresponsible sex at a young age is not that fun. boys peak much younger than girls…..alas:(:( It’s not fun til you find somebody you feel really good doing it with, and you are close to. So dont worry about it now…...the bad stuff is not worth it.
Are you a senior?? You doin okay?? Lookin hot??
xoxox
Bored…...hmmm. I feel the same way. But you are too young. Play music. Hopscotch while you can.
jan
@jazmina88 i agree…. what she does not realize, she is very lucky. That gives her something to look forward to with the right person. Just to have sex is just good exercise. To have sex and in love, that is what I’m talking about. That would be a homerun. Besides, there is consequences to being sexually active with more than one person. You can bring something home that you don’t want.
@ducky_dnl Sport…just stay the way you are…plenty of time for that.
I agree with @TheOnlyNeffie and @lookin4otherslikeme – sounds like symptoms. Get it checked out with your doctor. Have you always had no interest in sex? (Or urges).
@worriedguy and others. You don’t need partners to enjoy sexuality. Lack thereof is problematic.
It is always a slippery slope to start comparing yourself to everyone else. There is a chance that you could be depressed if you really feel blah about most things (not just sex). There is also a chance that there your brain is just waiting for the right situation to be excited about. I agree with @TheOnlyNeffie that if you are not excited about much, you may be depressed. DO you have anyone in your family that has problems with depression or anxiety? This can run in families and would be a sign that you may benefit from talking to a professional about it. It doesn’t always mean that you need meds. Sometimes talk therapy and/or cognitive behavioral therapy does the trick. I wish you well.
I’ve ready all the postings – all with great input, however, are you on birth control? There are many types of birth control prescriptions that can actually kill your sex drive. This happens to woman more than you think… talk to a doctor.
As far as your friends “having sex non-stop,” it’s normal for sexually active people having stronger sex drives (active hormones) than an individual not enaged in regular sex.
Not to mention you are only 17. No rush getting sexually active.
You could be a rare visionary. If you’re bored with what common culture has to offer you, wondering what all the hype is about, well, the visionary mind is typically beyond the trifles of every day satisfaction seeking. Could be that your satisfaction lies elsewhere.
I recommend taking an IQ test. I’ll wager you are quite brilliant, beyond book smart. Do you find yourself looking deeply into things, past the surface? Go here and see if any of these guys make sense to you. Check out the K’s, particularly Kierkegaard’s inherited melancholy. If any of this makes sense, you may indeed be a visionary.
Warning: No one suffers like the visionary.
I have no medical qualifications, but lowered libido is one symptom of depression. Some antidepressants (such as Paxil) can cause this as a side effect. You may want to get a complete physical with lab work to rule out physical causes. It can also be possible that there is nothing wrong with you at all; people vary in their level of sex drive, all perfectly normal. Maybe that “right” person hasn’t come along yet. Maybe this is nature’s way of telling you that your body isn’t ready for sex yet.
You’re quite young, no need to worry overly about this. This may be a blessing in disguise; you can concentrate more on your studies, you’re at less risk of STD’s or unwanted pregnancy, you may have more energy available for other useful activities.
@ducky_dnl Your profile states: “I’m also a Christian Conservative.”
It seems your abstinence is in line with your identity. I don’t really see a problem with that at all.
Your just a late starter, maybe your burning the candle at both ends & not giving yourself enough time to yourself to chill out. Life is a rat race but not at seventeen , no need to keep up with everyone else just yet, most kids I knew at seventeen said they were having sex, but truth be told, they were full of shit.. :-/
Don’t be to eager to join the young mothers club…….accidents can happen.. Take a step back & give this some real thought, ultimately just be you, you can never be everyone else…. :-/
Thank Goodness you don’t, laws or no laws, this is to young to be getting involved sexually. Stand proud of yourself!
You are totally normal. I wasn’t interested in sex at all for all of my teenage years, and I’m a guy. Just focus on school and enjoying what remains of your youth, and the right partner will come along later. Sex is great and all, one you finally take the plung, but it’s a bad idea to rush these things until it feels completely right.
It sounds like it is an issue for you or you wouldn’t be raising it. It also sounds like from this and other posts of your that you are depressed. I would consider counseling to look at some of these issues and see where you want to go with them.
I agree completely with @Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard. If it is more than just the idea of sex then, like others stated, you might be depressed.
Don’t compare yourself to those around you. Ever. You do what is best for you.
I know that you have posted recently about a couple of tragic experiences. If you are still dealing with such recent trauma, you might not be feeling into the sex thing at the moment.
I would not worry myself, some girls just do not mature like others. Some girls reach their sexual peak in their twentys when the ones that hit it in the teens are already moms are wearing down and tired and wishing their husbands would leave them alone. Right now enjoy the the things that you enjoy. At 16 and 17 my youngest daughter was still watching cartoons and I thought there was something wrong with her she did not want to go to prom or anything she was nothing like her sister was. Now she is 29 and like the Energizer Bunny when it comes to playing in the “playpen” she has all kinds of sexy PJ’s and loves to buy things like that. She is always smiling too so while a lot of mothers at her age do not want to play like that she all ready in the mood and willing she was just a lote bloomer and she did not miss out on her childhood either.
She still loves to play with her kids too because she had a good long childhood and she knows all the good kids movies and songs. Enjoy this time and do not be hard on yourself. Be who you are and do not judge yourself based on others. Be you and love you for that! You are the BEST!
I’m experiencing that now. I’m thinking depression.
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