What are you bringing to the Fluther luau?

I’ll bring some Mai Tais.

@Seaofclouds beat me to it! Pass one this way please!

Here you go @Dog, freshly made just for you. Enjoy!

I will help cook the hog in the pit.

@WestRiverrat : I knew you would help with the hard stuff. That’s great! cooking in an imu makes for great kalua pig, as we call it.

@Seaofclouds : Where’s the little umbrella in that drink?

I’ll bring my lei-ing skills.

Who wants to get leid?

@hawaii_jake They just get in the way of drinking. Besides, there’s already pineapple and a cherry on the glass. :)

^^^^ Like @Seaofclouds says. May I have one more? :D

Of course you can! Enjoy! ^_^

I’ll bring a cold sloppy seedless watermelon. And plenty of wet napkins

I’ve got buckets of coconut pieces chilling in ice water.

“Jelly shots”

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard : We need more leis over here, please.

@worriedguy : Yum!

@Trillian : Love coconut and fresh coconut water!

@Mama_Cakes : lol

w00t! I think it’s a party.

(and I’ve got Hawaiian punch for the designated drivers and me.)

I’ll bring a uke,and if @Seaofclouds brings a MaiTai over here, I’ll even sing. Or not, if prefer.

Grass skirt and coconut shell bra available upon request.

Leis for everyone!

Could I get a Mai Tai please? No cherry.
And of course a lei.

Men’s hula

Ladies’ hula

@JilltheTooth Here you go! So what will you be singing for us?
@chyna Here’s one without the cherry! Enjoy!
@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard I wouldn’t mind a lei. :)

@Seaofclouds, consider yourself leid!

and @chyna, of course!

If I bring poi, who’s gonna try some? I can’t stand the stuff myself

@hawaii_jake I’ll try it. What is it exactly?

According to the Rules Of Tacky Law, I have to start with something of Don Ho’s. Then I’ll take requests…
But right now I’m going to watch you try to handle poi. I have, I know what it’s like…)

I’ve been leid!

@JilltheTooth Perhaps I should have a few more Mai Tais first?

Poi(food) is the mashed root of the taro plant. It tastes like paste to me.

That doesn’t look very appetizing, but I’ll try it. <Gets Mai Tai ready for a chaser.>

@Seaofclouds : More MaiTais, good idea. My voice is pretty good, it’s my taste level that is questionable! Make mine a double, silly me for trying to weigh in on the “self mod” thread.

@JilltheTooth Here you go (double just for you). I’m still going on that thread, so I think I’ll have a double too.

@Seaofclouds: You are a woman of boundless patience. I ‘ll bet you’re a terrific parent. The music starts in 5 minutes, be sure to be back in time! I’m giving up over there…

Here’s some Braddah Iz (Israel Kamakawiwo’ole)

@JilltheTooth Aww, thanks a lot. That’s really sweet of you. I’m ready for the singing whenever you are.

I dunno, I kind of like @hawaii_jake ‘s guy. Let’s keep him on in the background for a few minutes while I change into the grass skirt and coconuts…very itchy, that garb, but quite fetching, don’t you think?

I agree. I changed into mine on my way back from that question.

@hawaii_jake : Working up an appetite over here, when’s the pig gonna be done?

@Seaofclouds : A couple more Mai Tais, our fetching island outfits, then we should go back there and teach him a thing or two about serious discourse! I’ll bring the uke, we’ll put it to music.

@hawaii_jake ; BTW, GQ! I’m having a blast! I am one happy haole wahine!

@JilltheTooth LOL. Here’s another round for us.

Sorry I can’t crash the party, guys, I’ll be over here.

Uh, I’m just going to sit over here by myself and drool at the dancers.

I’ll bring the special brownies. lol

I’ll bring the Lomi Lomi Salmon.

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard could ya, lei me?

@wilma, have a nice lei!

I’ve never been to a Luau, so I don’t know what to bring. I’ll say portable hot tub, Pina Colada, a spliff and some music. Everything from Lil’ Kim to Jon Bon Jovi. Bathing suits optional.

I’ll bring the pizza.

I’ll bring Obama.

@ChazMaz Oooooo. Ham and pineapple?

Here’s some Keali’i Reichel

I’ll bring my goose, he has his own orange lei from being MC of my Burning Goose bash last year.

@everybody: The kalua pig is ready! Come and get it!

@Akua : Just say “aloha” and try some of the kalua pig.

@Fred931 : Have fun!

@syz : The third man from the right in the front in all mine.

@Coloma : put the special brownies on the liquor table. Mahalo.

@wilma : Yum! Lomi lomi salmon.

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard : keep up the good work

@ChazMaz : Yum! Pizza is always welcome.

@zen_ : He’s a real island favorite, so bring him any time.

@Trillian : At this party, you can have all the pineapple you want.

@JilltheTooth : I’m glad you’re having such a good time. Watch those Mai Tai’s. They go straight to your head.

@hawaii_jake I’ll fight you for the guy at 31 seconds

@hawaii_jake Great idea, great party. Thanks for inviting us. What a lovely spot.

I’ve got some Grilled Pineapple Salsa and (of course) Chocolate Chip Cookies.

could I have a chunk of pig please?

I’ll have some pig and chocolate chip cookies! thanks for bringing them @cprevite, I’ve been craving chocolate all night

Here’s some Hawaiian slack key guitar.

@cprevite : aloha! Good to see you. Thanks for the ono grinds (good food).

<sigh> I wanna go to Hawaii.

I wanna come to Hawaii too.

how bout some poke, I think it’s fish, maybe in a banana leaf,,,,
if we have leis, we need a poke too.

You pronouce it 2 syllables – pok-A , i think. or Pok-E

Mmmph…tanks @hawaii_jake. Dis pig id ummy ::munch:: Mmmm…could I tr-ble du fer a bevrage? ::gobble::

(sorry, mouth was full of pig)

@cprevite : You certainly can have a drink. @Seaofclouds was just passing out Mai Tai’s.

I’ll bring a camera, just to prove it’s true, and a healthy appetite, plus my own portable lounge chair, since it’s practically impossible to find a comfortable chair at a party.

Aloha @YARNLADY ! Welcome to the party. Put your chair anywhere there’s room.

You know you’re a redneck when you find out you call it Poe-Kay.

it’s like ceviche without the citrus or vinegar. usually onion, sesame seeds, macadamia nuts.

@cprevite Here’s a Mai Tai for you. If it’s a little strong, blame @JilltheTooth, she had me drinking doubles earlier. :)

@jazmina88 : You’ve got it right. Enjoy!

@Seaofclouds I think it’s appropriate for you to have been drinking doubles, because I’m seeing doubles. ;-)

Who’s going to put the lime in the coconut?

More music

At this point, I’m thinking I will just bring a gallon jug of grain alcohol and leave it to the rest of you to figure out what to do with it. What the hell? It’s extremely efficient. A gallon jug of grain alcohol is a lot more efficient to pack in than the equivalent amount of liquor were I to decide to bring beer.

@lillycoyote : Iol.

@lillycoyote

We can use a cup to start the bonfire!

@lillycoyote We can mix it with kool-aid too. I have some tropical punch and cherry kool-aid in the fridge. :)

Here’s some ukulele and slack key guitar by some Hawaiian music royalty.

@Seaofclouds

Okay, kool-aide, but no cyanide at the luau. hahaha

@Coloma Okay, but we could have given it to only certain jellies… :( <puts away the cyanide>

Lol. :)

You can hear some gorgeous Hawaiian chanting, language, and music here

@Seaofclouds

The only jelly I’d have given it to seems to be gone now. lololol ;-)

Jake quietly sneaks in and gets rid of the cyanide. There’s too much life at this party to spoil it.

:-)

@Coloma Well good thing we don’t need it then since Jake took it. ^_^

@Coloma Yes, if you’re offered kool-aide, and you feel comfortable accepting or declining, then I think you can feel good about drinking it, but if you’re offered kool-aide and you decline and then someone holds a gun to your head, insisting that you drink it, well, that’s a good indication that you’re pretty much completely fucked.

@lillycoyote

Hahaha…true, that is. I think @Seaofclouds could be a cult name. lol

I actually live right next to ‘Heavens gate’ road!

Wow, this party has taken a weird turn. How ‘bout somebody fire one up?

Let’s lighten things up with some more hula

I’m going to step out and get some more ice for the cooler. I’ll be right back.

you guys cant handle your PGA…..put the coconut creme in it for sure. I used to make hurricanes in college. A couple of pigs I should have BBQ’d. Nope, not really, music school rocked.

I got my hula groove on…...if my dog was alive….she would have just laffed at me.

Do you eat a ton of sushi on the islands?
and where is Anthony bourdain?? he likes pig.

@Trillian and @hawaii_jake @Coloma was the one who brought up the kool-aide/cyanide connection and then I took it and ran with it, if that’s what you’re talking about. As far as I know, both @Coloma and @lillycoyote, that’s me, well, while we may not be completely harmless, and I can really only speak for myself here, I think we are both as close to completely harmless as harmless gets. Anyway, let’s all move on. There are Mai Tais, and roasted pigs and limes and coconuts and seedless watermelons and jelly shots and ukeleles played possibly well, possibly quite badly, hula dancing, brownies, Obama, pizza, and a gallon of grain alcohol that needs an assignment, and all sorts of things that need to be attended to and enjoyed. I only just got to this luau, it can’t be over already.

@jazmina88 : We eat lots of sushi and local style raw fish called poke, pronounced poh-kay.

where is the spam??
and any sweets?

jake, you like spam??

@hawaii_jake Aloha, I don’t eat pig what else you got?

Aloha, @Akua, we’ve got sushi now and island style raw fish called poke, and OMG @jazmina88 brought my favorite: Spam! We’ll cook up some of that great stuff and eat it with rice and seaweed. Yum!

edit: I’ll go out to the yard and get some avocadoes and lime and we’ll add some tomato and onion and garlic for guacamole. There’s also papaya.

@hawaii_jake we will not do any such thing. I alread had a bunch to drink which I normally don’t do. I tried the sushi, which I’ve never before done. I ate some of your wretched poi. And though I askd someone to fire one up, nobody did. Well, that’s ok, I’ve gone a long time without, so I guess it doesn’t matter. But I draw the line, I absolutely refuse to put spam into my mouth.
I’ll just be over here at the edge of the water, getting my feet wet and looking at the stars. If you want, you can put up a hammock for me and I’ll crash in it at some point.

@Trillian doesn’t want any. Who wants to try teriyaki-style Spam on rice with some nori seaweed? Jake nibbles some Spam on the side.

I’m with @Trillian on the spam. Thanks, but no thanks.

Here’s a hula especially for the ladies and me to watch. @syz really liked it. What do you think the dance is about?

@Seaofclouds Thanks. I feel like I’ve eaten enough already anyway. Lets go watch the dancers.

@Trillian It seems that for some reason, Spamarama is no more, but I imagine that with enough grass roots push and determination it could rise again. I suspect it’s just a matter of how much spam matters to the the people to whom spam really matters.

@Trillian Sounds good to me. These dancers are great. I just wish I knew what they were saying.

I’ll bring a case of Sailor Jerry, some Coke, and a shit load of limes. I’ll also supply the music. I figure Jimmy Cliff, Israel Kamakawiwoʻole, and a little Willie K. should be a good start.

Whoop it up, folks! @AstroChuck is in the house! He’s brought limes. I guess he didn’t know we have a tree in the yard. And he’s brought some great music.

@lilycoyote, Spam is funny to talk about, and I enjoy the whole Monty Python spam thing, but quite frankly, I’d rather put a stick in my eye then even smell that stuff.
@Seaofclouds Yeah, I watched that twice. Is it warm in here to anybody else, or is it just me? Hooo!
I have to go to bed people. Great party. I’m just taking that hammock over there. ‘night all.

@hawaii_jake that guacamole sounds good. This is going to be fun.

LOOK! A canoe full of Samoan men with their big bananas! lol

@lillycoyote

Yes, I’m harmless, just that non-linear humor showing up. Okay…run the with Samoan dudes, wait….they look thirsty, maybe they will trade a drink of kool-aid for a big banana moment. hahahaha

@Trillian

Pass the peace pipe. :-)

Drunken Fluthering has it moments – good and bad.

I’m perfectly sober, damn it! lol

@Coloma says “LOOK! A canoe full of Samoan men with their big bananas! lol” I hate to say this, buy I may have to revise my most certainly nonprofessional opinion regarding whether you @Coloma are or are not harmless. I’m just not sure anymore. :-) Anyone else care to weigh in?

Toothless, maybe, but certainly not harmless. She’s a single woman and likes her bananas as much as the next ##$##&!.

I knew a stupid banana that liked toothless, even though i was disgusted and made rude jokes.

I’m just gonna bounce round as usual, i found s’mores, playin on the beach. singin a spam song, making up the spam hula.

@zen_

I’ll have you know my teeth are perfect! lol

@everybody: I just woke up under a palm tree. Now, it’s time to really hit the hay. Where did those hunky hula men run off to?

Sorry. Was in the water all day with the girls:
The Ideal
Cruiser girl
Hang-10
Floater
Clearly

Any poke and bud left?

Shoot, I always get here late, but no worries, I am tired so I will take my blanky and head for the beach, nothing better than lying under the stars with the ocean sounds to lull me to sleep.
Great party @hawaii_jake and the videos of the dancers were wonderful, beautiful music too. I like poi, anything beats vegimite!

Soooo late to this damn party. I always miss the good stuff! I’ve brought the beer, and some great bread.

Hm. I seem to be missing my shirt. I’m pretty sure @AstroChuck took it and ran away. There wouldn’t happen to be a coconut bra left over, would there? Also, am I the only one that wanted to rip off those hula boys’ skirts? Like untying a big bow on a present? ;)
Trust me to bring on the nakey.

Nsfw: (smacked wrist) Sorry I couldn’t attend. I had a prior engagement you see…....well i’m just sampling the local “entertainment” Nothing wrong in that! :¬)

Wow, Did I miss stuff? I wandered off to find the bathroom (all those double MaiTais thanks, @Seaofclouds ) and ran into one of those handsome dancers…anyway, great party. Most fun I’ve had in awhile!

Great Party @hawaii_jake Thanks!

Wow, it’s almost lunch time and I’m just waking up. I found a nice little spot on the beach to cozy up and fall asleep on. Great party @hawaii_jake. I had a blast!

So I woke up under a palm tree with an empty Mai Tai glass in my hand and remnants of cookie crumbs on my mouth. I’m fairly certain I didn’t get leid though. pity

What, the partys over?

Sheesh, you guys are wussies, I thought it was a weekend long party.
Leftovers are always better the second day. lol

If those dancers are staying for the weekend, I am too. ^_^

If @seaofclouds is staying, then I’m staying. I don’t want to miss the dancers either.

@chyna and @Seaofclouds : They’re over there in that grove of palms taking a little rest. They should be ready to party again in justa a few minutes!

Then I need another Mai Tai, no cherries, and I would like an umbrella in my drink, please.
Who the heck is the bartender anyway?

@chyna : Look above you, she’s been the mixmaster all along! (Not me, @Seaofclouds )

Woo Hoo! I know I’m not leaving now that I know the bartender is staying. And @worriedguy is staying after he gets through with his 10K speech. I bet most of us stay. We are party animals.

Hey, who ate all the brownies? :-(

Here’s one for you @chyna with an umbrella (but no cherry).
@JilltheTooth Want another double?

You mainlanders get up way too early. lol.

Here’s some of the music that @AstroChuck left.

Spent the day surfing… @Seaofclouds , you still tending bar? Or are we down to tap water and the grain alcohol? Anything left to eat other than Spam?

@JilltheTooth We still have some Mai Tais left. Do you want another double? I think there still might be some of the pig left.

Are the Samoan guys still lounging around in their loincloths?

@Seaofclouds : Better make it a single this time, I think the Samoan guys are sufferring from “loss-of-loincloth-itis”. Anybody wanna come with me to ..er..see if we can help? @Coloma , you want in on this?

@JilltheTooth

Okay, tell you what, you find some new loincloth material and @Seaofclouds can make a needle and thread out of palm thorns and coconut fibers, you guys make hats and loincloths.

I’ll take on the really ‘hard’ work, I will baste the samoan guys with sunscreen, no burned bananas. lolol

I think we might all be a pretty good team, no need to vote anyone off the island. haha

@JilltheTooth Here’s your Mai Tai ma’am. ^_^

@Coloma Do we really want to cover them up? Can’t we just put them in the shade?

@Seaofclouds : Much better idea. Do you suppose all these handsome Jellies at the party would also like to be in the shade as well? Let’s go round ‘em up, Girls!

Gosh, I sure hope @Katawagrey isn’t lurking around here somewhere…I’m sure I’d embarrass her!

Meanwhile, Jake and his hula hunk come wandering back down the beach after having spent the day swimming in a private cove. I swear we were swimming and, well, let’s just say we were swimming.

@Katawagrey is safely in the dark, so far.

There’s still plenty of pig to eat. The hunks and I finished off the Spam last night. Somebody put on some tunes.

@hawaii_jake

What kind of a host are you?

Keeping the private cove a secret to your guests.

Get back over there and build a bonfire, the party is moving to the cove! lol

@Coloma Fingers in ears La La La! I can’t hear you! lol.

All right. All right. Let’s all move to the cove. I’ll grab the papayas. The hula hunks will bring the bananas. Everyone grab something.

But wait, what happened to my bikini top?

Those devilish samoan boys…it’s a loincloth now.

Oh well, it’ll be dark soon.

Okay…I’ve got the brownies and beach mats, lets move this party to the other side of the island. lol

See? I knew I would bring on the nakey. ;)

@augustlan : Who knew being Community Manager would entail such onerous duties? :-)

Party over guys? I borrowed the cleaning service from the speedway.

@Fred931 : Whew. I thought I was going to have to clean up this mess all by myself. I am certainly glad to see you.

@hawaii_jake Aww, I wouldn’t have left you alone to take care of it! Glad to see @Fred931 with the cleaning crew though. That was some party!

I’ll help those nice Samoan boys paddle back to their island if that’ll help! @Seaofclouds : Hand me that sunscreen, would you dear? This may take a few days.

Thanks, @JilltheTooth and @Seaofclouds, you gals are the best. That’s probably the best virtual luau I’ve ever hosted.

@JilltheTooth

Are you going to make s’mores for the Samoans? lol

Save one ( or 5 ) for me. S’mores and Samoan buys.

Okay, I won’t be greedy, 2 of each.

Ooh… I love s’mores! Count me in if we are making some! I even have some Reese’s peanut butter cups we can use on some of them instead of Hershey’s. They are really good!

@Seaofclouds & @Coloma : (Turning the canoe around and paddling back to shore) Coming back! S’mores for Samoans! :-)))

Did you have fun?

@weeveeship : Next time @hawaii_jake throws a party, be sure to come…it was fabulous!

I’m still a bit hung over. Those guys were fun!

@chyna : get @Seaofclouds to make you a milkshake. Resident nursey-person and all that…