If you give a compliment to someone of the opposite sex (or to a gender that you prefer) does that qualify as "hitting on them?"?

No, not unless they’re kinna desperate! Heh!

No way. It totally depends on the context, the tone of voice, the body language. If a guy came up to me at a party, stood really close to me, with a flirty look on his face and said “You have beautiful hair,” I’d think he was hitting on me.

If my roommate brought a male friend into our room, and he was a friendly, outgoing guy, and says casually to me, “You have beautiful hair!” I would not think he was hitting on me.

I suppose it’s the intent. If you’re expressing appreciation or trying to make someone feel good, it’s a compliment. If it’s an attempt to start a conversation, impress them, or as a pick up line, it’s hitting on them.

No. I compliment people (irrespective of gender) all the time. If I think someone’s shirt looks good on them, I’ll say so. The difference between hitting on someone and just complimenting them lies in the tone, the frequency (how often they repeat their compliment), facial expression, and other non verbal cues (a hand on the shoulder, a slight nudge etc).

Hell no. I compliment people all the time that I don’t even know. Whatever I happen to have noticed. It never occurred to me to think that I was hitting on someone. I hope to god they don’t think so either. I just told a girl that I liked her bag, and two days ago I told a guy he had a great hat.
I never heard of such a thing.
Hitting on someone entails physical contact, or eye contact and vocal nuance. Tone of voice coupled with…. oh lord. I can’t have this conversation.

Well Gorgeous, a compliment is just that.A compliment .

I complement men and women alike, and no, I think mature people don’t automatically assume it’s a sexual hit.

I just told a guy in the store the other day ’ dig the shirt!’ lol

He smiled, I smiled, grins, went on our way.

Such a limiting attitude methinks.

Absolutely not, though there are some who interpret compliments this way. Unless the compliment is of a sexual nature, it can simply be motivated by wanting to share a positive opinion of another, to be kind, or as a way to cheer someone up or help better their confidence or self-image. Aside from the really overt ways people use to hit on someone, flirting is all about tone and body language. A straight forward “hey, like the shirt” can imply something very different when said slowly and seductively, standing close to the person, and having a lingering feel of the fabric!

Women can compliment men platonically. Men just want to get laid.

This woman that plays bingo with my wife and i looks just like my aunt. my wife even admitted this. the woman was a little snobish, so i just ignored her. finally one day, i walked past her and turned around and said to her “i am not trying to hit on you or flirt with you, but you look just like my aunt”. i was amazed that she was really a nice person. this opened up a conversation between her, my wife and i. she understood upfront that i was not flirting with her and the rest is history. we are now good friends.

If you’re not hitting on them, then you’re not hitting on them. If you say you like the shirt because you like the shirt then that is pretty much that, IMHO. It’s either about the shirt or it’s not about the shirt. If it’s not about the shirt, then yes, perhaps you are hitting on them. And yes, there are some grey areas. Flirtation is flirtation. Actually hitting on someone is something else.

I don’t consider it hitting on me if a woman tells me I have a great ass…:) She’s just uncommonly observant.

I compliment strangers that I am not hitting on. Sad that we all can’t just talk to people without sex coming into it. Not that I would mind some coming-er, sex, er…

er…

And sometimes it’s both.

Complemented a man the other day on his beautiful restored classic Harley painted the most gorgeous opalescent pearly white.

Said it was very pretty, and he returned the complement with a hit, said ’ not nearly as pretty as you are!’ Cracked me up.

I think that is just another every day compliment. Some compliment will satisfy you or make you blush but that doesn’t mean the one who did that has sexual attraction toward you.

Not necessarily items such as jewelery, tattoes or clothes do I see it as hitting on someone. If a girl says to me “I love your eyes” or “you are cute” then I see that as trying to open up a door to something else. From my experience this is usually true. Speaking personally for myself I will never give a compliment to a woman unless I like her. I guess everyones different.

It comes down to intent vs. effect. My guess is that the vast majority of compliments offered are intended to be an innocent offering of feedback on something personal that is admired by another. The problem is that the effect can lead to discomfort on the receiver’s part. (And it isn’t limited to sexual harassment, but I’ll spare you that HR soap box discussion.)

We don’t always know the underlying issues a person has from past experiences…things that can trigger them to feel uncomfortable from unsolicited feedback, no matter how complimentary and innocent it is intended.

No not necessarily.
Now in regards to this moderation which is getting silly. Is not commenting on the question and sparking a discussion “on topic” regardless of whether one likes the opinion? There has become such a narrow view of answering that all discourse is being squelched. There’s hardly a discussion nor even a question and answer with breadth anymore.

Why don’t we just have a form:

If you give a compliment to someone of the opposite sex (or to a gender that you prefer) does that qualify as “hitting on them?”

Check One
Yes
No