How to I prove to my parents that I am mature enough to do things myself?

Homework without someone checking: show your parents your next report card. That’s the only way you can convince them (unless you get some tests back from particular subjects? That could potentially work as well.)

Ask to serve breakfast over the weekend for the family. Wager that if you can serve a meal without burning a single piece, you should be okay cooking breakfast without someone hovering over you. This one is more understandable to me though – my older brother (24) still burns something ever now and then. The kitchen survived, but not his meal.

Laundry? That’s a bit much. They should be happy you want to do your own laundry. Maybe if you offer to do the towels or linens as well, they’ll let you have a bit more privacy?

Some parents simply worry more than others. It’s not that they think you are incompetent at performing these tasks. Ask them to sit down with you and have a discussion about giving you some more responsibility. Verbally walk through specific tasks (such as doing the laundry) to prove that you know how to do them on your own already. Ask for a little bit more responsibility at a time. They will see that you are becoming more mature, especially if you take the initiative to open discussion with them.

It won’t always work. My mum still thinks I don’t know how to use the dryer. I’ve been using it forever.

When they are checking up on you, do they have to correct you often? If they have to correct you, that could be why they aren’t ready to stop checking on you yet. If they don’t have to correct you, it could be that they just aren’t ready to let go of that yet. Allowing our children to do more things by themselves is admitting they are growing up and that they don’t need us for those things anymore. That can be hard for some parents to do.

Keep track of how often they have to correct you in the next month or so. Then, at the end of the month, tell them that you would like to sit down and have a talk with them. Point out the number of times they have and haven’t had to correct you as evidence of being ready to do things without being checked on. Start out with just cutting back with how often they check up on you (so instead of every day, maybe every few days). That way they can gradually cut back. Tell them that you are ready and willing to take responsibility for your actions if you mess up. Good luck.

If your over 10yrs old then there’s no reason you shouldn’t be doing these things by yourself. Your parents may have gotten in the habit of wanting to do all they can for you not to keep you down, not to view you as a child but they probably think they’re freeing you up to concentrate on a bigger picture.

If you really want to do these things then ask your parents if they’ll let you add it to your schedule, let them watch if they like but keep doing for yourself until they get bored and leave off. At first they’ll probably offer all kinds of advice or options to what you’re doing so say, “sure, I’ll give that a try and see if it works better for me than this”. What’s your parents’ least favorite house chore? If it’s sweeping floors or dusting furniture or window sills then take that on where they can see it.

Next time they say that you need to prove it to them ask them nicely with no attitude to give you a chance to prove it to them. Tell them you can’t prove your responsible with them holding your hand 24/7.

How old are you? That will make a big difference in how this question is answered. :)

That said, I let my 11 year old do almost all of things you mentioned. We’re gradually moving from total supervision to partial supervision. Sometimes I make up things to do for myself when she’s cooking, so I can keep an eye on her without her feeling like I don’t trust her. Each of these things came with some negotiation, because while she likes to cook, she doesn’t like to clean up after herself. She likes to do her homework alone in her room, but she’s distracted easily and will forget to put the homework in her backpack or check her work.

Ask your parents for a family meeting. Make a list of things you would like to do without having someone look over your shoulder. Go over the list with your parents and ask what their concerns are, or why they feel the need to check up on you constantly. If they worry that you won’t clean up after yourself when you’re done making breakfast, that is very reasonable. Promise to clean up after yourself and double check that the stove and/or oven haven’t been left on. If they’re worried that you won’t finish your homework or get the correct answers, ask if they will agree to let you do the work on your own and then check it for completeness. Tell them you will be responsible for doing the work right, and that you will take responsibility for maintaining your grades. Find out why they don’t want you to do your own laundry, and address that issue. Maybe they worry you will accidentally ruin your own clothes by using hot water when you should use cold. Ask them to maybe post a list of reminders in the laundry room that you can check to make sure the machines are on the right setting. Whatever their concerns, work with them to think of ways to handle those concerns on your own.

Above all, remember to just talk to them without demanding, whining, or comparing them to other parents. It drives me crazy when my daughter says, “Well, so-and-so is allowed to do this or that.” If they really resist, maybe start with one thing on the list as a test run and, after a couple of weeks, revisit the rest of the list. When they see that you haven’t burned the house down or killed yourself or flunked out of school, they might relax a bit. Good luck!

Well, how old are you? I started doing most of that stuff on my own at 12/13. Maybe you could sit down and talk to them about it?

I was going to weigh in here with great advice but it seems it’s all been covered extremely well. GAs to all!

One question, though. Have you ever done anything in the past to make them distrust you? That could be a factor, here.

Act responsibly and maturely. The rest will follow with time.

The fact that you want to do things shows maturity to me, but I’m not your parents. Ask them to let you do a load of your clothes to start. Then ask if you get cook a simple meal without help. Money is tight so parents may be afraid you’ll be wasteful. I had to pull a chair up to the sink and wash dishes when I was 8 and wash everyone’s clothes at 12. Times are different but you sound mature enough by asking. Hopefully your parents will give you the opportunity to oprove yourself. Tell your mom it would help her a lot. She hould love that. Good luck and let us know how it works out~

It’s not so much about age as it is about demonstrating your maturity. Your parents don’t owe you trust; you owe them proof you deserve it.

You have to be patient, overprotective parents are tough. You probably will never do anything good enough to prove them that you are grown up and responsible. My parents are overprotective, and only since I left their house, they actually realized that I could do things on my own without their help or supervision. There are parents that need to supervise always, no matter what you do. I can’t really give you any tip with this. Just don’t let this frustrate you, and do what you think you have to do without wanting to prove it to them, just prove it to yourself. My parents keep behaving in a protective way still, after 10 years of not living with them. Maybe this is because I am an only child… hope it’s not your case…
You’ll have to face it and be patient until you can actually be economically independent I’m afraid.

The Wikihow article has some great tips and ideas. I typed How to talk to parents in my search box and found several good sources for you to check out. Doing research on the computer is always a good way to start.

@15acrabm When I first saw the question I thought: Hear goes; another teenager who wants to be able to go out at night and not have a curfew.

And then I read your description and was very pleasantly surprised. I thank you for that.

From the parent’s view: It can be very hard to let go of your “baby’s” hands as they grow up and become adults, especially after so many years of having to do for them.

I think a lot of what is at play here is simply that. If that IS the correct understanding, then as the other Flutherites have suggested, talk to your parents, and do the various things they have suggested.

Another radical thing to do might be to show them this post. What do you think?

Thank you for your question A GQ for you.

I agree with the other suggestions. Highlight the ways inw hich they can benefit by letting you do stuff on your own (i.e. you can help your mom do the laundry when she is overwhelmed by other household chores). With that said, I do agree with @Covergirlita who pointed out that some parents never let children do things on their own. Some overbearing parents don’t want their kids to do anything without supervision, because they’re so emotionally invested in their role as parents that they feel lost once their child no longer “needs” them. You are taking steps into the adult world now. Even if they insist on supervising, just imagine that you’re in the room alone and keep practicing. Then you will be more self-sufficient once you’re old enough to move out on your own.