Just out of curiousity, what do you think the reasons are for someone cheating on their bf/gf?

I think there are a lot of reasons a person comes up with for why they did it. Lack of intimacy in the relationship, being unhappy, no longer being in love with the person they are with, just want to sleep with someone else, and they’ve developed feelings for another person all come to mind.

What it boils down to in my opinion is a lack of respect for the person they are with.

I agree with @Seaofclouds analysis.

I see that lack of respect to a general view of people and relationships as disposable, just as we are accustomed to disposing of furniture and consumer electronics as soon as something else comes along.

In hetero couples: The man usually loses interest because he no longer is attracted to the woman’s physical appearance. The woman usually loses interest because the man has been verbally abusive or continually falls short of responsibilities. These seem like HUGE generalizations but in the many couples I’ve known since I was a teen, this is how it’s gone.

My grama used to tell me as a kid, don’t stay ignorant, don’t be dull and don’t get fat.

I agree with @Seaofclouds there are many reasons. I always think they cheat is because they love someone else and is afraid to tell the current other he/she has. Or unless she/he is a total douche bag then yeah. But maybe lack of physical attraction or intimacy (like seaofclouds said) maybe you just lost the spark in the relationship and got bored with you so he/she went on to someone else. Those are only some of what I think, but it’s true to me. Any of you agree or disagree?

@Vincent_Lloyd: I’ve always thought if the cheater was at least in love with the other person than their partner then that wouldn’t make the resulting breakup as bad but sadly, so many people cheat for fickle reasons and forsake good love.

I have a reason that makes a lot more sense to me. People cheat because they want to cheat and they want to get caught. Some lowlifes might just be abusing someone that trusts them but I think most of them are just looking to shock and provoke the people they really care for.

I think the only possible reason is because the person has a lack of respect for their partner (as a lover and as a human) and their relationship.

I believe cheating comes from co-dependence. A person who cheats is invested in their relationship for some reason, or else they would leave. People stay together for all kinds of reasons even when their heart isn’t in it anymore. They feel obligated to stay together, like if they have children, or they could feel like it’s easier not to change the status quo. (I’ve known a few couples who lived together and stayed together longer than they should have because it was just easier that way.) Or they could have low self-esteem or a small social life and feel like they can’t get by without their partner, even if they aren’t happy together. For whatever reason, a person doesn’t have the strength to leave their partner, but still wants to be with someone else.

One of my ex husband cheated with a younger woman because I was not exciting enough and he was going through a middle age crisis. There could be tons of reasons. . He said he still loved me. Yeah! Right my ass.

Not being happy in the relationship, he/she might have a serious commitment problem, falling in love with someone else.

Frenchfry, how can he not think you are exciting enough?! I only know you from here and Askville but I can definitely tell that you are fun and exciting. What a jerk!

I agree with Nicloe8 thumbs up

Here’s some more that have crossed my mind:

Feeling like your partner isn’t attracted to you or when they are aroused then it’s a quirk mood of theirs and not really them being aroused by your company.
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Feeling taken for granted, not feeling looked forward to, little talking or sharing other than eating a few meals together and lying in the same bed watching tv or whatnot.

Feeling like you come last in importance to your partner. Maybe they’ve taken up extracurriculars they don’t include you in or they give their energy to their jobs, their kids, their pals and then say they’re too tired to “argue” with you over your needs and wants that you still want to include them in.

When a partner hates the other’s job or circle of friends and feels one or both have a negative impact such as partying/drugs.

Because they think the grass is greener on the other side? Or because they’re trying to eat their cake and have it too – so many pretty people and the prospect of having to only have sex with one for the duration of the relationship is just more than they can bare, apparently. Or because they don’t really love their partner anymore so don’t bother being faithful to them anymore.
Either way, cheaters are scum. (the only exception is where your partner is a crazy abusive turd who won’t let you go and who treats you poorly or cheats on you as well – such people don’t deserve faithful partners anyway).

There is a guilt that comes from loving someone you know loves you but their actions aren’t what you want or they are so self destructive that you feel insecure and alone in order to keep your sanity. You can love them but also be so lonely, feel so overlooked and not worth their efforts to change for the better that outside people who offer you emotional support… a more, those people become a balm and a diversion.

What starts out innocent can bring you face to face with how little you have going for you in your present relationship. The thought of someone else wanting (without you nagging, begging or negotiating) to give you what’s important to you, appreciative and excited over what you want to share of yourself- that’s where you think to cross the line. I’ve been there.