Social Question

water_123's avatar

Is this guy I met worth my time?

Asked by water_123 (120points) September 6th, 2010

So about a month ago, I met a very attractive guy. He soon got my phone number and weve been hanging out ever since. When we hang out we usually watch movies, cuddling and making out. He tells me he wants to get to know me, but that he is not ready for a relationship. The only time he seems to want to hang out is late at night at his house.

For the last week he has been texting some of my close freinds he met though hanging out with me. Asking them to come hang out with him so them two can chill.Is this guy playing me? Or am i just paranoid and over thinking? What should I do about it? Should I just ignore him and stop hanging out with him? Does anyone have any simular experiences they could share?

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14 Answers

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Welcome to Fluther!

Is this guy worth your time? Only you can answer that. Considering how many relationships the average person has, there are always more that eventually fall apart than the the few (or one) that stands the test of time.

There are a few relationships where I listened to my heart instead of my head or gut. While I cannot say I regret any of them because of what they taught me, a few were heart-wrenching.

If I were in your situation, I would distance myself from the relationship. Something doesn’t sound right, but of course, we don’t have all of the details, and it is from your perspective. The fact that you are questioning it pretty much states that you feel that something isn’t right as well. This may be a situation where you need to let your gut instincts guide you if you don’t want your heart broken.

Seaofclouds's avatar

He’s already told you he doesn’t want a relationship, so if you are hanging out with him in hopes of a relationship, I think you are wasting your time. If you are looking for a relationship, I’d say move on since he’s clearly told you he doesn’t want one.

If you just want a friend that you can make out with and are okay with the idea of him doing it with other people (wether he is or not is irrelevant since you aren’t committed to each other), then continue being his friend. If you aren’t okay with the idea of him doing the same thing he’s doing with you with other girls, I’d stop hanging out with him or at least stop making out with him.

HothisCold's avatar

I second @Seaofclouds.

A relationship is, bare-bones definition, a connection between two people. If you’re ok with the relationship being defined as hanging out and snogging, then it’s not a waste of time.

The important thing is that you are both on the same page, expecting the same things. Think about what you want. The hard part is accepting whether or not he can give it to you.

Trillian's avatar

How much is your time worth? what do you expect to get out of being with him?

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Would you like to meet a guy who wants a girlfriend? If so then this guy isn’t for you if he’s fishing off your dock with your friends. I wouldn’t want a guy like that but then again, friends of mine wouldn’t be up for giving their numbers to a guy I’m seeing. Also, when a guy has ever told me he wants to get to know me better then it has meant he wants to spend time to see if he wants and then I want in return to have sex together.

BarnacleBill's avatar

He only wants to see you at night, at his house. He texts your friends to come over and hang out, but not at the same time he’s hanging out with you. Sounds like he’s trying to get lucky with someone.

You can do much better. There are lots of great guys out there.

Trillian's avatar

What @BarnacleBill said. Trying to get laid while at the same time leaving his options open. The phrase “Yeah, I’d nail her, I just don’t want her for my girlfriend” has probably crossed his lips.
His prime time is not given to you, is it? Just late nights. I’d drop him like a bag of dirt, but I’m not known to have patience anymore, I got an attitude somewhere and can’t seem to shake it. Now I’m all or nothing, and if I can’t have all that you have to offer a woman I’ll have nothing.

15acrabm's avatar

i’m no expert, but it doesn’t sound good to me
i’d say he might be using you, for your friends and of course you
maybe you should get some for information before kicking him out of your life, though
ask your friends what THEY do with him

aprilsimnel's avatar

What do you want?

That should be your criteria at this stage, since you barely know him.

Do you want a serious relationship? He’s said to you that he isn’t serious boyfriend material, which is his right. If you want a real boyfriend, he’s probably not your guy.

Do you want some sexing a few nights a week, no strings, and it doesn’t matter that he’s not into you or exclusive? Can you handle just seeing him when he calls you late at night and you go over to his place late at night (aka booty calls)? Is that all you want right now? Then go for it.

Haleth's avatar

“Is this guy playing me?”

It seems like he’s made it clear that this won’t be exclusive or serious. Do you expect/ hope for more, or are you fine the way things are?

YARNLADY's avatar

If you gotta ask, the answer is invariably no.

bippee's avatar

He is not worth your time. He doesn’t want a relationship. He wants a booty call. If you want more than that, wipe your shoes and move on.

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