Got paraprosdokian?

Take my wife—please.

@zen_ That’s pretty funny.

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in there I’ll never know.

Oh, how I love Groucho Marx

I believe mud wrestling is a filthy, dirty spectacle that should be avoided—in favor of baby-oil wrestling.

I want to die peacefully like my grandfather died is his sleep, not like his patients on the operating table!

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

I was sent a link to this only yesterday. Before that, I’d seen such examples (I think I’d seen all of these), but never under a single umbrella term.

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

—Dorothy Parker

Either I am having a wicked case of deja vu, or we’ve had this exact question before…. have I lost my mind??

@TheOnlyNeffie,

I’m certainly losing my eyesight with your small font. :)

@xdimqt Sorry. I try to whisper when I’m not exactly on topic.

I looked it up, and apparently it really was deja vu. That was just weird!

@TheOnlyNeffie, it’s possible, but a search on a term such as ‘paraprosdokian’ really ought to be good for unequivocal results, and I don’t find it. Did it come up in one of your other hangouts?

@Jeruba Fluther is the only “hangout.” I thought I recognized the first few answers, as well. Was just a really intense flash of deja vu, I guess. Had me fooled.

I like my women like I like my coffee. I don’t like coffee.

@ * sigh * I got an email that someone had copy/pasted from the same source as your link – hence my examples. But it’s such a great word and idea – I knew we’d get some good examples from jellies that might be unfamiliar. E.g. @ratboy ‘s I had read before – but they were fun.

@TheOnlyNeffie Aer you going to contribute or just kvetch and kibbitz?

Roses are red;
Violets are blue.
I’m schizophrenic,
and so am I.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Or so they tell me
I don’t know, I’m colorblind

@Pied_Pfeffer I really laughed. That doesn’t happen much.

@mini me: you know we both share that blindness – so that was extra cute.

Extra cute is my middle name.

Another one: It’s not you, it’s me. Specifically, me wanting to bang other people.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

@zen_ good one!