How important is sexual chemistry to you?

Very. ;)

Sexual chemistry can make or break a relationship for me. i find that sometimes after a while, the chemistry starts to fade, And i have no idea why.

Very.

It’s one thing to have a bit of a dry spell in a relationship, that can be worked through. But sexual chemistry is necessary for a long-term relationship to last, at least for me. I mean, the main thing separating a romantic relationship from a platonic one is the sexual intimacy. If I’m not having sex (apart from not being able to due to medical or legitimate reasons) in my relationships, there is something terribly wrong with the picture. Like, something deeper that indicates a relationship problem.

If you don’t want to fuck your boyfriend, he’s not your boyfriend. He’s just your friend.

It’s pretty important. Otherwise, we’re just friends.

And I’ve got enough friends.

I’m currently experiencing a dry spell in attraction towards my partner, to be honest it is getting me down but I somehow manage to work past it sometimes but other times I can get quite upset about it. Time will tell how it affects our relationship. In my opinion it is very important as physical attraction and chemistry is exciting, happy and sometimes euphoric.

I totally enjoy sex, so if I’m not getting any from my S/O, I’m going to find someone willing and able to have sex with me.

I would prescribe it as an essential element.

I am very attracted to my gal and am for the reason I know I will always be sexually attracted to her no matter what father times throws our way!

Numero Uno.

All I care about is that she doesn’t have a gag reflex :-)

We’ve had dry spells in our marriage, especially when the kids were little. Although not ideal it wasn’t a deal breaker. Now that the kids are older our sex life is better now than it ever has been.

It is still very important after 27 years for me.

It’s hugely important to me. I’ve had few but enough serious relationships in the past to have learned you can’t get one over on mother nature, not for very long no matter how many other things you think you have going for you in the relationship.

Are you currently still very attracted to your partner?
Yes. It’s going on 1½ yrs exclusively together and I am still absolutely sexually attracted to him to where I still look forward to deep passionate kissing and making out where I get butterflies in my stomach.

What would you do if after a few years you found that you no longer desired sex with them?
This has happened to me before but had nothing to do with the sex itself. The break in attraction happened after a lack of respect or trust or there were a lot of letdowns to where I was more angry and bitter with my partner than anything.

Is that a deal breaker for you or could you still live happily without a sexual connection?
It’s a deal breaker. I tried with a few people staying with them and living without sex but it wasn’t a good idea and just furthered hurt, anger and resentment. I know I’m capable of loving a person without loving the relationship and for me, that’s not enough.

Yes, to your first question (I am still very much sexually attracted to her. We’re both females).

If I am not sexually attracted to her, chubby lost. Sorry, but, true. Attraction needs to be there in order for it to work (for me, anyway).

VERY. I sometimes wish it wasn’t such a big deal to me, but it just is. If the desire goes, I tend to go, also.

It’s very important to me too. I am still very attracted to my husband. We have a great sexual chemistry together, even when we are miles apart. We had a slump once due to some medications he was on. Once we realized what was causing the problem, he spoke to his doctor, had the medication changed, and we got back on track. ;) I couldn’t imagine us not having the chemistry we have.

It’s essential. It just doesn’t feel right to be in a relationship when you’re not attracted to them. I just ended a relationship where we really clicked but my attraction gradually faded. It’s a tough decision and I definitely weighed the pros and cons for a long time.

I think there’s always an underlying reason when this happens. Like @Neizvestnaya said, it can be because of a breakdown in respect or trust, and then it’s not easily fixable. They’d have to want to earn back your respect or trust, and a lot of times the things that disappointed you about someone are part of their nature.

I think some if it’s because of the way all relationships can change over time. Early on, you don’t see that much of each other and if you want sex to happen there’s this give and take, will-they-or-won’t-they, dynamic that happens first. You sort of have to take a risk to move things forward in a new relationship, from approaching a new person to holding their hand for the first time to getting them in bed. You have to actively seduce each other, because it’s not a given that it’s going to just happen. I think a lot of the reason people lose attraction for each other is that longer into the relationship, they stop putting an effort into sex and romance. It’s just kind of like, “Ok, we ate dinner and went to bed. We’re going to have sex now.” People stop doing stuff that’s actually really important, like affectionately touching or really kissing each other, and not just when you want sex to happen. Add to that the issues that can come out in a long relationship and drive a wedge between people.

In my case, I think the big problem is that he wanted to get together and be involved in each other’s lives way more than I wanted to. Combine that with the lack of effort that can come with familiarity- we were hanging out all the time and developing a great platonic connection, but sexual chemistry suffered. In hindsight, maybe some time apart would have let me see all this stuff without breaking up, and then we could have had a very candid talk.

it’s a necessity.

The sexual physics is of more importance to me at the moment. ;)

I’ve written enough on this subject to fill two or three novels. Yes, chemistry is important. I think I’ve spent a lot of my life motivated by the search for this chemistry. I’ve found it and had it taken away; found it and lost it and the person I had it with; found it and lost it and found it and lost it and found it with the same person.

I wouldn’t say that maintaining sexual chemistry has been a problem in my marriage. Maintaining sexual interest has been. When I go for too long without sex, I go crazy. Literally, as in diagnosable crazy. I get depressed because I interpret the lack of sex as a sign that I am no longer loved.

Then I get manic because I’m out there trying to find another way to have that kind of relationship that sex is so much a part of. To some degree, it’s not me—that manic person. I do things I wouldn’t ordinarily do, Normally I have more control over myself and I am able to deny myself that which I need to live, really.

But sometimes I lose it. I feel unloved and unlovable. That makes me crazy, and sometimes I’ll try to find other people who can show me I’m lovable and loved.

That’s in the past now, and I hope it stays there. Maintaining a relationship is very complicated, sometimes. Dealing with sexual desire or lack thereof is challenging, to say the least. What I’ve found is that if I feel loved and lovable, then I don’t need as much sex as when I feel insecure and worthless.

Well, there’s a lot more, but I’ll stop there. I have written more in my blog—the sordid details (and they are sordid). You can find a link to it on my profile, but it’s not to everyone’s taste. But they will show you something about how important sexual chemistry is to me. For me, it’s the manifestation of love. What I found, though, was that the problems are the same wherever you go, and that the solution to the problem lies inside me, not outside.

One of the main reason to come to earth. That and driving a car.

I’ve been dating the same guy for five years, and I’m a virgin (so is e, we’re waiting for marrage) and I’m still strongly attracted to him. If you’re not, then something is wrong and you may have something on your mind.