How are people not constantly angry and sad at the world?

We are. But I have periods of light amidst the dark.

Focus on solutions, not problems.

As a student of history, I can tell you for sure that we live in very comfortable times. Sure, bad shit happens, but when you look at our modern world through a historical lens, things are really, really good.

So chin up, go outside, be thankful that you don’t have the plague, and you have internet access, and you aren’t starving to death, take a deep breath, and take advantage of what our comfortable world has to offer.

Understand that EVERYTHING is just part of a process.

Well we only get one shot at this thing called life, best make the most of. Besides life is in fact grrrrrreat!

First, I say thanks for all the blessings in my life every day. That tends to remind me of the good things.

Next, I do not focus my thinking on world issues that I cannot control.

Third, it helps to volunteer your time.

When I was in high school, I guilt-tripped myself into a deep depression because I thought I had no right to be happy when there was so much suffering in the world. It’s not healthy to walk with the weight of the world on your shoulders. It’s normal to feel saddened (and angry) about the bad things – and they still weigh down on me – but it’s so important to look at all the wonderful things out there, too. There is good and beauty in the world. When I get into a negative head space, I think about those things… how I want more of them, and try and channel myself into being a force for good in my life and as much in the world around me as I can reach.

Most people who meet me in university think I am an unflappable optimist. I have not always been this positive.

What would be the point? Take lemons and make lemonade.

It takes a lot more work to hold onto the BS rather than let it go.

Nothing like a cold glass of lemonade..

Every day you can wake up and get out of bed is a GREAT day. (Helps to realize how lucky you are sometimes, even on a so-called bad day.)

Every day that you have to get out of bed, well… how good’s that day going to be, really? (Helps to keep unbridled optimism in check.)

I believe people are inherently good. I have hope in the future and belief in humanity. We need to be humbled. We need to go outside and look at the things around us that are full of beauty. You have to take every day with a grain of salt and remember the good things. They are there, I promise. Every day I think of 5 things that make me smile, and whenever my day dims I pull those out and think on them. It could be anything. Even taking 10 minutes out of a stressful day to sit back and do something you enjoy whether it be listening to your favorite song or reading a few pages in your favorite book. This life is all we have and I do not want to spend it being angry and sad. Cheer up buttercup. Life is truly beautiful.

I just keep telling myself that when I’m completely alone, I have full control of everything I do and say, and if I can do that, then I have power to change even more when I’m working with a group of people. My father constantly complains about how horrible the world is, especially in politics, but I guess because I’m young (22) I feel that I haven’t had any rights taken away from me, because nothing has directly affected me yet (except for pollution maybe).

If I want to change something, I feel I can, but it’s once I start realizing how big the world is that I start fearing how horrible it has become, and how little I can do. But I know that everyone has some kind of job to do in this world, and if I can do a job that somehow truly benefits humanity, even in the smallest way, then I’m doing my part in making the world a better place.

I also just read a quote today that helped me appreciate other people striving for good:

“Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.” -Plato

Hope that helps. Feel free to PM me.

I am not. It would drain the fuck out of me.

I think Try to live optimistically by being thankful for all the good things. That’s all you need to focus on, the good things. If you focus on all the good things you will attract more good things into your life :) and keep in mind that we don’t have control for other peoples actions or feelings but we do for our own. So cheer up, take a nice walk, meet new people and soround your self with positive energetic people!

When you believe in God, there is no reason to be angry nor sad at the world. You simply bypass all the hubub and live a wonderful life despite what the fools are doing.

It’s hard to remember to live, before you die.
It’s always back and forth.

Maybe it would help to separate the larger big world problems from your own, personal, and potentially happy life. I think of this in concentric circles, where you do your best to make your own little life (including your intimate family) as good as it can be. Then, you can begin to focus on your community—what can you do to make that better? (food banks, help in schools? work on particular local policies you think are important?), and then, when you are maybe feeling a bit better on these smaller scales, you can take on the larger ones. But, getting it right in your own life first is the only way that you can make this work. I remember hearing how Tutu is a joyous person, even though his work is about horrific things.

Also, depression is anger turned inward to yourself—so if you find yourself depressed, you might think about what you might be angry about—and it usually more about something in your own life (often something in the past) than a huge bad thing going on in the world.

Wow, lots of outstanding answers.

I really am trying to make the best of things. I am a very, very lucky person. I’m finally in a somewhat comfortable place financially, and I’m in a loving and respectful marriage, I’ve got beautiful kids. I have food, shelter, love and health. I truly count my blessings (is it still a ‘blessing’ if you’re not religious?) many times a day. But for some reason, I still get that dark feeling of hopelessness every day. Not all day, but usually some time throughout the day. Then I feel guilty about it because I feel like I don’t have a right to be depressed since there are those so much worse off than I am. I don’t know how to break the cycle. But these are some terrific suggestions.

@anansi, suffering is suffering, no matter the magnitude. Do you know why you feel hopeless? Do you feel like your life is inconsequential, or is it because of the guilt you feel about people who are worse off?

If the former, then make your life more meaningful. If the latter, then do something about it. Go work at a soup kitchen or something.

If you have spare time I suggest you go do some volunteering. It will give you a nice sense of meaning :)

There are far too many beautiful things to see and hear and do in this world than only the ugly. Also, you might consider that no matter what your lot in life is, you have it so much better than people ill or dying from serious diseases, people maimed by war, people with serious mental problems, homeless people, and people living in impoverished company or those under disctatorships.

@anansi – why don’t you think you have the right to be upset? In nearly every case, no matter how bad off you are, there’s always someone worse off. You can’t judge how you feel based on your condition in comparison to others. You might be able to calm yourself by rationally looking at your situation objectively, but how you feel is always justified – it’s what you do with that feeling that is the difference.

Go ahead and feel like shit – it is absolutely your right, and anyone that tells you different is a self-righteous dick (ahh, cursing is fun). Just try to recognize or listen to others about when it’s time to get over it, or when it’s time to express it.

@iamthemob well said.

Some things your just going to feel like crap about, just try to remember the good with the bad, don’t dwell. Say to yourself ” well, this sucks!” and then move on and try to either improve it or get on with it…. I am a pretty bubbly person myself, mostly always happy and bubbly, and I feel some things crashing in on me at times, I let them, but only briefly, then I concentrate on moving past it, like ucme said, you only get the one life, make the best of it. I try to find at least one thing everyday to make me smile…. even if it’s just smiling at someone else who looks down and making them smile, that can change my mood in an instant! So this one’s for you. :o)

@anansi You’re not alone. Plenty of people seemingly “have it all,” but are inexplicably unhappy. Sometimes it’s not so simple as an answer on a Q&A site. No one can give you a recipe to happiness. If you’re depressed, you should consider counseling. Therapists can guide you to look at life in a different way and shape your cognitions.

I have moments where I feel so angry about the way things are – from the big to the small. What helps is when I remind myself that I’m in control of my own thoughts. I can create the life I want for myself. If I’m feeling angry, sad, frustrated, I question the thoughts/feelings and remind myself that I can change anything I’m truly unhappy about. If that’s not possible, I can always change how I view it.
Naturally, life takes over and this is a process I have to remind myself about daily. sometimes several times a day
It’s hard when life is taking its course and it doesn’t seem to be going well. Those are the times when I tell myself I’m exactly where I’m meant to be and remind myself that this too shall pass.

I just roll with it. I see a lot of bad too, really. Get really annoyed by stupidity. And everyones stupid. I swear. I’m stupid, you’re stupid, the guy next door is stupid. There’s always something we don’t get. I know that’s depressing, but it’s true. Once you understand that, you just.. roll with it. The key is to understand what you’re good at, and emphasize/publicize that. Because while I believe everyone is stupid, I think everyone is brilliant too. It just depends on how you look at it. The best way to live is to learn your strengths and weaknesses. As for the world, there’s nothing you can do about people who won’t figure it out. Especially if it annoys you that they won’t. Like stupid people in some country that want to bomb a nation because they think WAR R GOOD WE NEED TO NUKE EVER’THIN’. I shouldn’t be talking. I’m American. .. God I’m so mean with stereotypes. But yeah.

What I often do when something sucks (when it’s not a game. I flip out over games.) Is think that there’s nothing at all I can do about a situation that has already passed. So you lost your big paper, oh well. So you dropped your new .. thingamabob down a sewer. That sucks. So there’s some guy beside you that’s looking you up, .. okay. You can punch him in the face. It may be a depressing aspect, but if you think about it, there’s no point in being depressed about it. Shit happens. It’s gonna keep happening, and if you flip out over that shit happening, then that.. shit is gonna win. All that’s gonna happen is you’re going to worry about something that there’s no point in worrying about. if you need to, tell your teacher the situation and ask for extra time on your paper. .. Whip up some tears if you think they’ll believe you’re lying. Stutter some. But don’t give yourself a headache over it, just move on. ... As for your thingamabob that dropped down the sewer, just think of how… little it costed. Rather than how much.

From a realist (people call me a pessimist, but optimism doesn’t make sense to me. it’s just blindness. You’re happier, until you’re WRONG.) perspective, There is more bad than there is good in this world. In my opinion, the key is to remember that the bad is usually something that makes you better (Unless it kills you), when the good builds your arrogence. The bad will make the good feel amazing, the good will make you happy, but if there’s too much good, it won’t just be happy. It will be dull. Nothing will change. Then you’ll develup a pompus british accent and act as if everything is a drag.

Hannyywwayyyyyyyy that’s my 2 cents. I know it’s a bit cruel and to the point, and I’m sure there’s at least 2 or 3 contradictions in there, but I got enough reviewing to do in my creative writing class. Hjskdanxsfhsdjka. Someone survives a freefall from a baloon flying over the grand canyon and suddenly fal-.. I mean. Yeah.

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard Thanks for your answer. I don’t know specifically why I feel hopeless. It’s silly, but I really don’t. It’s a lot of things- a combination. I think I’m too sensitive for one. Watching “The Cove” or hearing about war, or the oil spill, or a natural disaster makes me pretty crazy. But then more personal stuff gets me really down, too.

I don’t know how to change my nature, or what my nature has become. How do I toughen up and roll with it?

@anansi I’m a lot like you… a lot of existential angst that has nothing to do with my personal life (which is good). Counseling and medication helped me a lot. I am still angry and sad at the world sometimes (often, actually), but am able to live my life in a generally content way. When your brain chemicals are balanced, you’re more able to concentrate on what you can do to change the world for the better. Even if it’s just your little corner of the world.

I am constantly angry with the world. Why do children have to be abused? Why do women have to be abused? Why do animals have to be abused? Why do I suffer daily from an incurable medical issue that can’t possibly be resolved unless I have drastic surgery which I can’t afford or until I go through menopause 15–20 years from now? Why can’t I get free chocolate? Why oh why oh fucking why do children have to be abused? If I could get away with it, I’d go on a pissed mother rage and kill every filthy human being that abused a child. I have anger issues…

@muppetish I was the same way in school. The mess of the world tore me apart and most people didn’t seem to understand why it consumed me. I felt it wasn’t fair that I had the necessities of life when so many others in the world did not. I was in endless therapy/medications etc. I still get sad often with the world but I learned to see the good in humanity as well – I seek out stories of good people. It helps. I am much more positive than I use to be. It’s a long process but humanity is learning ..just not as fast as many of us would like.

Most of what people think is a problem with the world is actually just the way reality is. It is healthier to recognize that every human life experiences some suffering, set backs and disappointments, than to imagine that somehow, somebody should have donated something somewhere that would entitle you to a blissfully happy life. Things go good, things go bad. You control some of this, but not all of it. Accept what you do not control, change what you can. Respectfully, how is that so complicated?

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

Even a committed atheist like me can find guidance in striving to practice this principle and relief in knowing I don’t have to try to control more than my own part in things or manage anybody’s life but my own, which is enough of a challenge in itself.

@Jeruba Thank you for that. Those old words are suddenly relevant. Maybe I should be reciting this every day as a mantra. :)

Some people do, @anansi. I cannot imagine that it could do any harm.

It’s another way of expressing the aim of seeing things clearly (meaning seeing them as they are) and acting on that perception in a reasonable way. Even if all you achieve is the opening of your mind to a clear perception, a very great thing in itself, you’re bound to be better off.

Because my husband suffers from clinical depression, I can imagine what you are going through. Even with medication, which helps tremendously, some days are still dark for him. I know some people are opposed to meds for such conditions, but if you’re not going to follow strict diets and other regimens, than it is advisable to seek medical help.

Non-depressed individuals are able to distort their perceptions of the world to support feeling good despite many reasons to despair. Depressed individuals are much less able to do so. There is much research to support this answer.

@Dr_Lawrence Wow, that’s… depressing, lol! Seriously though, that’s very interesting.

The Four Agreements. That book saved my live.

Have Integity with your word
Do your best everyday
Do not judge
Do not gossip

The book will get into detail but I know it can help

As a humanist I make a point to remember to love people for being people all the time and keep an eye on the fact that most are just trying to do right, and we all have things to learn before we get it perfect.