How do you get a house guest to leave when you ask them to go and they say no?

This is seriously the guest from hell. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this.

It sounds harsh, but I would bluntly state that she has 2 choices: pay to change her flight and leave early or pay for a hotel since she can no longer stay at your house. If she declines both, then pack her bags for her, drive her to the nearest hotel, and leave her on the curb.

Give her $50 and take her to the Best Western. Seriously. You may have to pay her to get out. Unless you’re prepared to take @hawaii_jake‘s approach. If you do that, I suggest you have several large male friends around when you do it. Although they shouldn’t touch her. If she struggles, call the police.

This all depends how badly you want her out. Personally, I prefer the pay to go approach. It was one I once proposed for my brother when he had a very problematic tenant. It worked. Expensive, but it was worth it, because the tenant was violent and setting fires and whatnot. Your guest is doing serious house guest shit. Pay for her damn hotel, or pay for the cost of changing her plane ticket.

Wow! That is almost unbelievable!

You asked her to leave and she said no? I am sure you are rethinking your friendship with this person from the beginning.

She needs to make alternate arrangements to stay somewhere. Does she have relatives or other friends nearby? Tell her that you’ll give her a ride to their house.

Otherwise, it is the hotel thing. I would make a reservation for her somewhere. Then drive her there.

Start the vacuuming and walk around naked

@marinelife She is from London. There is no friendship anymore. She just said she was through talking and about leaving and that I was being unreasonable. My husband got very upset and told her to get out or he will put her out. She has locked herself in her room and is not talking to us.

@Hawkeye Funny that you would say that. She got kicked out of her daughters house. She was in the kitchen one night totally naked and her son in law walk in and right back out. Told his wife and she can’t come there anymore, not even Christmas. I tend to think there is more to the story.

@RANGIEBABY : It seems like she might be seriously deranged in some way. Ask you husband to figure out a way to get that door open and throw the bum out.

I would be afraid to actually sleep in the house with her.

Is your house alarmed? You could set the alarm and leave so when she walks around it should trigger off the alarm. Call the cops

@RANGIEBABY – Agreeing with @Hawkeye – CALL THE POLICE RIGHT NOW!

@hawaii_jake I am inclined to agree with you. I didn’t sleep well last night.

I can’t seem to find where you have said who this person is. Is she a relative, a friend you invited over or what? I would call the police now. She is deranged. I would pay to change her flight. Who knows what she will do when you are sleeping or gone.

Pan
Head (hers)
Great velocity
Problem solved

Tell her your’e sorry and you’ll take her to lunch to apologise. Then ditch her. Secretly bring her things with (one of you can pack her stuff and put it in the trunk while the other one distracts her) then… sit and eat lunch… the two of you get up from the table at different times… meet at the door, leave her bags with the waitress to bring over to her in 15 minutes…. leave her with the bill.

Calling the police sounds like a good idea. Failing that, there’s always knifepoint.

DOOR. OPEN. BOOT. ASS. DOOR. CLOSE.

Play the gummy bear song at full volume 24/7. im not sure about where you live, but here, you could legally just throw all their crap on the street followed by them.

EDIT: personally, i would never call the police for anything, but still, you may want to consider it.

This is horrible, I’m sorry. Is there someone or a few others who can be in the house when you and your husband are not, until she’s gone? At this point she probably knows there’s no return to a friendship (good riddance) but short of paying out money you and your husband need to protect your home and belongings. Is there a sherrif’s dept. you can call for advice? I’d have no qualms about calling them to remove her if I were in your shoes. What a headache!

@chyna This is all my fault. No she is not a relative. She is from London, and I met her on a forum. Obviously she misrepresented herself through all the emails. I thought she was a sweet 60 year old woman that lived a quiet, nice life. After she got here, she started telling me all about her life. Whoa horsey, I said to myself. I have made a huge mistake and I need to take care of this.
I will never ever do this again!!!!!

On a side note. where the hell is this persons pride? if someone kicked me out, i rather live on the street or the airport until my flight rather than be where im not wanted.

this is sounding stranger and stranger, be careful, people like this have a habbit of becoming a nightmare. it would probably be wise to invite a big strong friend over to stay for a while so you dont have to be alone with this person.

Tell her “you don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here.” If she still refuses to go, call the police, report her for trespassing, and have her forcefully removed from your home. If you are feeling kind go ahead and share your plan to contact the police but at this point you have more than met any commitment you might have had to her and you owe her absolutely nothing. If she is so far from being the person she presented herself to be you really have no idea what to expect and in the interest of safety she needs to be out of your house.

I’m sorry but I gotta say it… It is unfathomable to me that someone would invite a person – from a different continent no less – to stay in their home without ever having met them.

@SuperMouse Don’t be sorry, go ahead and say it. I deserve what I get for being so stupid,you are absolutely right. What the hell was I thinking. Apparently, I wasn’t thinking. My trust in people has been slightly changed for sure.

Be right back. She just came out of her room and went into the bathroom

@RANGIEBABY: Don’t write off all possible forum friendships because of this particular experience, even though it’s a weird one. I’ve been ivited to and stayed in the homes of several people I’d only ever interacted with on a site (wis.dm) and I am friends with those people still, a few who have also been my guests since. There’s got to be a way the law enforcement can remove her to go stay wherever else until her return flight.

@RANGIEBABY : I wish there was some way to help in all this mess. Try not to be so hard on yourself. You made a mistake. You have learned. You won’t do it again.

She’s out of her room? Throw her stuff out of her room! Get her out of the house!

Good luck!

@RANGIEBABY “Be right back. She just came out of her room and went into the bathroom”

yea, probably drinking your perfume or cutting her self.

@hawaii_jake that is the best idea yet! @RANGIEBABY run, don’t walk, into her room, grab everything of hers you can get our hands on and throw it on the front lawn! Or you could grab the mattress and get it out of there!

If she goes to the bathroom again or comes out of her room then see if your husband will run interferance or you and the other goes to put her things outside your home. Lock the doors and windows and immediately call the law to tell them what you’ve done and ask for assistance, tell them honestly she’s become beligerant and now you two are questioning what kind of physical harm she’s capable of doing you or herself.

Is this her by any chance!?! :¬D

Is there more back story? Who is she? How do you know her? How long has she been there? Why is she there? When is her flight?

She got into the shower, so my husband and I went into her room and packed her things, well I should say stuffed her things in her bags and brought them out to the front door. She has not come out of the bathroom yet. Gee, I hope she took some clothes in with her. Either way, she is out of here.
Waiting for the last blast.

How exciting. This is happening in real time!

Lock the doors to the rooms.

Leave her clothes to change into but no shoes. Put the shoes in plain sight outside the house along with her belongings. Call the cops now. You don’t need a blast with no backup. You don’t need her to do something unexpected and tragic. You don’t need to run the risk of being held responsible for anything while waiting to see drama unfold. Don’t take chances! This is how bad things go down.

Definately get the law involved now!

If she comes outta there with her head split wide open & a spaceship fly’s out piloted by the wicked witch of the west insisting “i’ll get you my pretty & your little dog too!” Then all i’m saying is, don’t be too suprised.

This is as exciting and in real time as WTF wedding proposal! Shhh… @RANGIEBABY is writing… the woman is secretly using all the water in the house.

You don’t know what she’s capable of doing. Are all your smoke detectors working?

Call the police. Now. Have them escort her out of your home when she gets out of the shower. At this point, it sounds like she’s trespassing. Politeness should be the last thing on your mind.

The drama is afoot! Seems like @RANGIEBABY has stepped away from her computer, mid-response. What do you think is going on?

What never fails to amaze me, is the capacity that people like this have to rearange things in their head so that you are the bad guy in all of this. i’ll bet you any money, that when she gets home she will tell everyone about the horrible person who chucked her out in the middle of the night for looking up directions on google maps or something along those lines.

@wundayatta What I think is going on: Deranged woman came out of the shower, nekked, running through the house with a knife. Keep in mind deranged woman is 60. Not a pretty sight. Skin and boobies hanging everywhere…

I think the crazy lady wasn’t showering. She plugged the drains and filled the house with water, Rangie and hubby are swimming for their lives.

@chyna indeed

I think there are negotiations happening.

nekked negotiations?

^ewww

You’re the one that put that picture in everybodies mind.

Actually @poisonedantidote put the “picture” in everyones mind.

Ok, all kidding aside, she has stopped writing. I’m scared now.

Her “crafting a response” band is gone. Does that mean the computer is off? Or did she flip the screen?

@SuperMouse Having total strangers over does sometimes work out. When we were living in Italy, we were asked by the pastor of a church farther North if we could host an American couple that was, for reasons unknown, headed South. They stayed one night without causing any difficulties, and we never heard from them again.

@chyna i would not worry too much, little old bag is 60 and there is a guy in the house. if anything, the crazy old cow is probably pulling an “but im a little old granny with nowhere to go” card. if that fails she will probably call the police her self and try to put on some kind of show.

if the little old lady is going to do anything, chances are she will do it just hours before she is about to leave the country.

@wundayatta The crafting stays on as long as she is in the process. If she stops typing it stays until she does something else. I don’t care for whatever that means.

She is gone. While she was in the bathroom she made a phone call to a man she met last night at a bar. I dropped her off in the afternoon to do some shopping like she wanted. I didn’t hear from her again until almost midnight when she called and woke us up and wanted someone to come and get her. Nevertheless, she secured the phone number of a stranger. He came to my door and introduced himself and I asked him how he knew her. He said I took her to dinner last night. She came out like a lost little puppy and fell into his arms. Mind you this is a woman that lives in London and is a mistress to 3 different men. One of which she was emailing to put money in her account. So now she is off with another man to stay for her remainder of time 15 days until her flight back home.
I tried to tell her I was sorry things didn’t work out, and she said ” it is on your conscience, but then you don’t have a conscience do you?” And off she went. Yeah. Poor man, he has no idea what he has gotten himself into.
Thank all of you for being there for me, I will never forget all of your support.
I love all of you, but no, you can’t come to visit me. :)

Wow, that poor man.

Wow! I’m glad she’s gone. But look at how resourceful she is! Finding a guy to take her in in one evening. I wonder what she told him about you.

I suspect she has some kind of mental disorder—maybe pathological lying or bipolar or something. But she clearly has a nose for trusting people, and a willingness to take advantage of them. She also seems to have a lack of awareness of what she is doing to people. She’s burning bridges right and left.

How much you wanna bet she be calling you before she leaves to try to get you to put her up again?

Whew, at least she didn’t tear up your place or steal stuff. I’d pay money to have my locks changed and also the passwords to all online places you use, you don’t know how adept she may be at gathering accounts, best not to chance it. I’d file a report if possible with the law because she may swindle someone and at least you and your husband have seen her in person and may be able to provide some details that might help other people. She may be a wanted criminal already. If she’s got 15 days to go in your city then that’s a lot of damage that can be done when you consider what havoc she wrecked on you during her stay.

Oh my gosh, she had better not show up here. I am sure she is resourceful enough to have another man all lined up if this one throws her out. My house is not the first house she has been thrown out of. Both of her children have thrown her out and she cannot return. Her daughter in law had her arrested and put in jail. She was finger printed and mug shot and all. She was arrested for harassment on the phone, she said. And was very upset that her son did not come to her aid, instead just left her in jail.
As you can see, she became very talkative after half a bottle of wine.
I do feel responsible about what she might do, after all I am the one that invited her here.

@Neizvestnaya has some good points.

My immediate thought is the guy who picked her up will drop her butt back in front of your home if she goes weirdo on him or she’ll start calling you relentlessly to help her out until she can go back home. Do you or your husband park your cars outside a garage? Are there windows she can access to get back inside the house if you’re not there? Any pets that roam in and out? Kids? I’m not asking for you to write responses of your personal info, I’m asking so you consider just how dangerous these type of people can be when they don’t get their way. Just because you think she’s older and pathetic doesn’t mean she can’t harm you or enlist other people in some scheme to do it. Who knows what she’s telling other people about you and your husband…

Yes, I will check around my house. As for changing things in my computer, I am going to have to take it in for repair. It take me forever just to get online now my password works sometime and not others. My computer is doing funny things, like flashing windows and I am unable to bring a page to the front anymore.
Just check my house quickly. Anything she didn’t want she just threw it in the closet on the floor and left a mess of stuff in her bathroom. Oh well, that is easy to clean.

@Neizvestnaya The thing is I am 67 and my husband is 81. She knew what kind of lives we live, and it is not bar hopping.
No kids, two sweet little bichons, no windows to access. We lock up at night. I can only imagine what she is telling people, she is quite the story person, and she is always the one treated unjustly. I was prepared to take her to the next town and drop her at a hotel, until this man showed up to take her away. Funny thing, if I were in her place, I would feel so bad I would be crying and saying I am sorry. She had not one tear, I think she may have planned this.

I don’t know what to tell her boyfriend in London when he emails her. Maybe I will just delete it, and let him wonder.

“Mind you this is a woman that lives in London and is a mistress to 3 different men.”

Why on earth would you associate with someone like that? Yuck.

Perhaps, she was Stranger in a Strange Land, but, in drag. Was she a homely woman?

@Mama_Cakes I had no idea about the mistress part until she was already here. A lot of wine makes some people talk a lot about themselves. The more she talked, the scarier she got.
she is between homely and just okay. But she wears very short shorts and very low cut see through tops. I don’t think people are looking at her face.
I had a stucco repairman here yesterday and she came out dressed in her red silk nightgown. Tiny straps, no bra, having quite a conversation with my worker. She tried to get him to take her out last night, he declined.

I’m glad you are free of her. Scary person.

You know it occurred to me how lucky I was… about 10 years ago I travelled alone to the US to meet up with some people I knew online but had never met before. I stayed with them 12 days, part in New York and partly in a camping trip in the Appalachian Mountains, and I had an absolutely fantastic time. The friends I stayed with, and the others I met, couldn’t possibly have been nicer.

None of you are coming to stay with me, btw. :)

@downtide I thought this was a sweet woman, and had hopes of a nice friendship of emailing back and forth.
I am so happy to hear your situation worked out well for you.
You know when I think back now, we had been emailing quite a long time. When I invited her to come for a visit, she didn’t hesitate and say I will have to see or anything like that. She just said immediately, yes I will come and I will come August 30th, and have my 60th birthday there.

@RANGIEBABY : If she was in your house she may have had access to your bank account and credit card numbers and SSNs. You might want to call your bank and the credit people to put a hold on any activity for awhile until you can work out some security protocol. About the SSN, I don’t know, maybe another Jelly would.
A lot of damage can be done in a short time.

Cancelling plane ticket to @Mama_Cakes :-(

Except for @chyna. She could bring her pooch, too. :)

@RANGIEBABY Why would you have access to an email her boyfriend sends her?

@Likeradar That was my question too. WHy did she have access to @RANGIEBABY‘s email? Why not just use her own web-based email?

@Mama_Cakes Yea!

@marinelife And @RANGIEBABY asked what she should do when the guest’s boyfriend emails the guest…
It seems strange that @RANGIEBABY would have access to the guest’s email, and that her own email wouldn’t be password protected.

@Likeradar I have not opened any of her email from him. She asked me if she could email him to have him put more money in her account. I said yes and they emailed back and forth. So his email address is still in my computer, as mine is in his.

She used my account on my email. I didn’t give her her own email account. It is no different than if I went to my daughters house and emailed you from her email account.

So you let her sign in to your account? Did you give her the password?

How did someone who is internet savvy enough meet strangers on the internet and stay with them not have her own email account? Something is fishy.

@Likeradar No, I did not give her any password. There was no password on the email, only on the computer as a whole. Once you are logged on, you can go directly to email. She did not have my password to log on, but saw the little reminder. It was not that hard to figure out. But it will be from now on. I am a stupid woman, and I have no excuses. I trusted her.

If this is the same password you use for anything else, change it. Change your computer password too. I edited my previous comment so you might have missed it- why didn’t this lady have her own email account?

She is from another country, and maybe she didn’t think about it. Neither did I. See, I told you, STUPID ME. I have given myself a horrendous headache.

Um… gmail and other email servers are worldwide. I’ve never heard of someone not being able to use their email in another country. Has anyone else?

Things don’t add up to me here, at all. But hey, she’s gone and you claim to have learned your lesson.

Oh @RANGIEBABY what a nightmare you’ve had… and given the other country she is from, no excuse for any aspect of her behaviour. (I for one really appreciate that this thread has never gone down that route – thank you for seeing this person as the odd individual she is and not as a product of the country she is from) You are well shot of her, and you deserve an evening in your home, just you and your husband, private and relaxed.

@Likeradar A lot of things don’t add up to me either now. I thought I was a good judge of character. hummmm..not. I am prepared to take any scolding any of you want to send my way. I promise I will never do anything like this again.

@harple I would never blame a country for the behavior of one individual. In fact I don’t believe for one minute her behavior would be tolerated in London either.
Today is my husbands birthday, so I will cook him a really nice dinner and enjoy our privacy. Thank you harple for the kind words.

@RANGIEBABY I’d be guzzling a bottle of wine with dinner too.

@chyna If I didn’t have such a headache, I probably would. But, I don’t think there is any left. She loves her wine, I know I paid for it, in sever ways.

sooo only getting to this thread late…but really glad you’ve sorted the situation!! Fluther is just ace isn’t it… lurve to all xxx

and breathe xxxxx

@RANGIEBABY I am so sorry that you and your husband had to put up with this horrible situation. Please tell us that you will take all precautions. Have you checked to make sure she did not steal anything from you? Credit cards? Anything?

I wish you some peace.

Tell her if she’s planning on staying that it would nice if she would participate in a homemade porn which will end up on a free porno site. j/k if not hide the toilette paper!

@marinelife You are very considerate and thank you so much. I promise I will check everything. I have been checking my computer and changing passwords. My purse was always put away and out of her site in my room. I check my wallet first thing and everything is there. I don’t have personal information on my computer so I am not too worried about that. I have not check my jewelry yet, but I will.

It’s really odd that she didn’t have an email account she could access when not on her own computer. Like gmail. It looks like she’s exposed you to a virus of some sort… on your computer, I mean. You might want to download a good anti-virus soft wear… bite the bullet and pay the 30 or 40 bucks, and then run it to see if it finds anything.

People are strange. This woman seems able to justify her behaviour somehow. Very strange. I’ve met people on the internet and met them for coffee, but I’ve never had them in my home. My husband in on several forums and has crashed for a night or two at friend’s he’s met through there because he’s travelling all over the world anyway. I’ve had a lovely young English girl stay with me for a night here and there when she had to come to town for appointments, but I knew someone well who knew her, so she wasn’t a ‘stranger’ if you know what I mean.

I’m not sure what to say. I think people like this one are rare and that most people are OK. I’m not sure how long you had planned on hosting her, but I don’t think I’d have the stomach for a strange house guest any longer than 3 days. If we got along well, they’d be invited back for longer next time. If not… it would be ‘So long and thanks for the fish’.

Don’t beat yourself up about this. Trusting people and being kind and friendly is a good trait. Her turning out to be a nosey so and so and a trollop is not your fault.

“Guns. Lots and lots of guns.”

@cazzie I am not sure what she did to my computer, but I will be taking it in for a checkup. I have a Mac, so it is difficult to get a virus, so I have been told.
We locked up everything last night, and have not heard from her. I feel somewhat sorry for the stranger that took her home to his house. It didn’t take long to figure out her game, so I hope he will figure it out too, before he spends too much money.
After this I am sure I will not ever be that trusting of people again.
Thank you for your kind words.

@RANGIEBABY Yikes!!!! Glad you have gotten rid of her.

@RANGIEBABY I’m not sure the lesson is to be not so trusting. Rather, I think it’s time to reevaluate what information you use and how much information you need in order to make an assessment.

wow.

Yowza.

A friend once told me (after a similar situation):

“house guests are like corpses, after three days they start to stink”

@Dr_C Benjamin Franklin said it first: “Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.”

Source

@marinelife he happened to mention it while we worked on our cadaver in med-school.

I’m not staying here with lowlife and power-crazed mods on an ego trip. I’m going to a decent site where the people are real and there are no moderators.

I have a right to be treated decently and properly, which is clear I won’t get on this site. You think its funny to make fun out of others’ misfortunes—that is not right or nice in anyone’s book.

No one needs this.

Then , by all means, @Heatherjune , go where you need to. And remember that slamming strangers is not a good way to get them to “treat you decently and properly”.

Oh come on. We need more psychos to make the rest of us feel a little normal.

True dat. ^ ^ ^

So, basically, to sum it up…

@RANGIEBABY described a problem she was having with an anonymous person. None of us knew (or probably even cared) who it was. Discussion was had, advice was given, the situation came to an end, we all moved on.

Four and a half months later, @Heatherjune showed up, took credit as the person @RANGIEBABY was talking about, and started posting multiple heated personal attacks, calling @RANGIEBABY, among other things, a pathological liar, and claiming she was being slandered (by someone who had never even mentioned her name). Finally, when she broke site rules, she called the mods “lowlife and power-crazed,” said they were “on an ego trip,” and stropped off like a child.

Do I have that about right?

Yeah, she seems really sane and rational. I wonder why we didn’t all just trip over ourselves running to her side of the ring. I wonder what kind of responses she would have gotten if this were a “decent site” with no rules/moderators, and how she would have felt about them…

Well, gee, it was kind of entertaining!

She hasn’t deleted her account yet.

Probably just left in a huff and forgot.

Maybe she’ll hang out for a little while.The crazies are a nice distraction from the weather.

@marinelife : Did you see her first 2 posts here before they were modded out? Although they specifically mentioned the OP, her side of it sounded pretty sane. Then it degenerated rapidly. It was interesting while it was going on! Kind of like watching The Last King of Scotland <shudders>

@JilltheTooth Yes, I saw those posts, but I think some of them had already been modded. I still think it was whacky to identify herself as the guest in this situation when she had been anonymous.

I’ll bet that was an interesting week in September!!!

Her account seems to be gone now. I guess she either flounced off and deleted it, or a mod did it for her. She was pretty nasty in that other thread.

Well, gone, I’d say. Not to sound mean, but she really didn’t seem to like us here, even in the beginning when we were trying to be supportive. If this is the first time you’ve checked in here, @downtide , you really missed the firestorm. Auggie modded most of it out.

@JilltheTooth I did read what she said before, its a good thing her posts were modded. I hope @RANGIEBABY is okay and safe. Has anyone heard from her since this other person showed up here?

Well, she hasn’t been here for 3 months, other than that I don’t know anything. Which isn’t at all helpful. Sorry.

I sent her a PM when it happened. I haven’t heard back.