What are the funniest, most ridiculous quotes from the NEW testament of the bible?

There are some ridiculous quotes from the old testament, for example, the one’s that are referenced in the famous Letter to Dr. Laura…but any crazy fundamentalist Christian will snap back with the brilliant rebuttal that those are from the OLD Testament and that they follow the NEW Testament, and they don’t believe in those things either. I can’t find any ridiculous quotes in the New Testament aside from the well-known “No man shall lie with another man…”

What are some others?