Worst thing to say on your first day in the army?

Oh, be sure to establish dominance over your drill instructor on the very first day. They love that. Aggression is what they are looking for!

do we have any white flags…? just in case.

Sooo…who’s gonna bend over?

Is don’t ask don’t tell still in affect?

bat your eyelashes at your new drill sergeant Would it be wrong of me to lick you right now?

Hey Gunny…was that you that just farted that condom on the ground??

kicked out all together? well ya could always go full metal jacket on em :P

Didn’t I see you last night at the Pink Palace??

No thank you sir! I prefer sheep!

HELLLLOOOO SEXY!

Haven’t I seen you at the Bear Cave Bar?

Is that you John Wayne? Is this me?

(to the drill seargeant) Well don’t you look hot in uniform?

Who took my copy of Mein Kampf?

My bed is uncomfortable..

stare at his pecker and wink(no need to say a word)

Does this Camo make my butt look big?

Worst thing? You’re going to regret posing this question on the internet.

Sir! If you turn your back for even a second I will take your gun and track down your family sir! I will cook them and FIND a way to make you eat a stew made from them sir! If you have any attractive female relatives you might find some sperm in there too sir! That will really save me money in my archaic salt based system of currency sir!

Army people really hate archaic salt based sytstems of currency.

@Zyx I actually had a blind date with my Drill SGTs daughter, didn’t know ‘til I walked her home at the end of the date what her last name was. Good thing it was the end of the cycle or I might still be doing pushups.

@WestRiverrat Yeah but I assume you tried to contain the situation. Can you imagine taunting him with it? Mailing him photos of your butt and a tangled mess of legs?

Tell him to shut up. Simple as that.

i want to talk to the cocksucker in charge

Could i be excused please, there’s this massive sale on in Selfridges?

Could i pick you up something while I’m there? Some nice Uggs to go with that shabby uniform perhaps?

To quote my friend Fernando, when asked “why did you join the army?” he responded “to fire a bazooka and get my driving license”

Stand with your back to everyone else then say “Sorry, force of habit from my years in the French army!

Trying to be serious here your first few days (in the army) will be spent in a reception battalion where you are not dealing with actual drill sergeants, (for the most part and they are more lenient at this point) until you get transferred to your actual training company. Calling your drill sergeant “sir” usually will get you dropped. Any decent recruiter would warn you of this ahead of time however.

As far as getting “thrown out” there are very obvious things you can do if for some strange reason you would want that.

@Jabe73 calling a sergeant “sir” is a bad thing? I thought you were supposed to call everyone sir if they outrank you?

You were never in the military I am assuming, I was. You do not call an NCO “sir”. That is for commissioned officers only. You call them by their actual rank. You would call your drill sergeant by that name, drill sergeant.

@Jabe73 nope, never been in the military and never wanted to be. Even if I wanted to, they wouldn’t accept me on medical grounds.

@downtide Just a friendly warning in case you ever gave it a second thought.

They would say “SIR! I work for a living g-dammit! You call me by my earned rank… Drill seargent! Is that clear?”
“Yes drill sargent!”
“I can’t hear you”
” YES DRILL SARGENT”
“NOW drop and give me 20”

Could I have a more comfortable pair of shoes please?