What is the darkest thought you have ever had?

Uhhhmmmm, those thoughts are dark for a reason…....Some of them I have liked, and some I have wondered what the hell is wrong with me, although I couldn’t help it. I have to understand that it’s not something so important that i would have to do anything about it. It’s not like I’m holding myself back from doing something bad. It just kinda popped up, I thought about why I thought it, realized why I thought it, and forgot about it.

I tried, but I can’t answer this.

@FutureMemory Why can’t you answer?

Standing on a bridge, and thinking how easy it would be to climb over the railing and jump off. The only reason I didn’t was because I wasn’t certain it was high enough to be guaranteed fatal. This wasn’t a one-off occurrence either, and no, I didn’t like it at all.

@downtide I know how that feels. I once held a knife to my throat but I didn’t know how far to cut so I decided not to.

Hitler and Gandhi likely suffer the same fate after death. There is no true punishment for crimes against humanity. I can’t shake that one.

Besides killing myself, killing somebody else. I felt disgusted with myself for the second thought to the point where I could not sleep for days after just at the thought that there are such dark corners in the human mind!

Well, I don’t think I can pinpoint the single darkest one. but I have some that are quite messed up. just a couple of hours ago I was trying to think of messed up ways to kill my self

I came up with the idea of hanging a load of different size cats until they fill a room, then painting cats on the walls, putting cat ears on all the objects in the room, and then dressing up as a cat and hanging my self, leaving a suicide note saying nothing but “miau”. and how it would be even better if i could get a friend to cut me open, take out my guts, and replace them with a live cat, then sowing me back shut all except for a little hole for the live cat to stick its head out of my chest.

It made me laugh, that was the whole point of thinking it up in the first place. i find confusion, panic, and weirdness very funny, and imagining the reactions of those who found me made me laugh quite a bit.

That’s pretty easy. It’s when you think you are utterly worthless. Your wife should divorce you. You are a horrible father for your kids. You aren’t doing shit at work. Your friends have all abandoned you, and rightly so. No one wants to talk to you. You sit at your office desk wondering why. The pain is so much. Too much. You can’t see any end to it.

Ever.

Nothing will ever make it better.

Do you have any choice? Not really. Not if you want to stop the pain.

God, it still gives me heart palpitations thinking about it. :(