@wundayatta – I don’t mind, I just don’t want to derail the thread, so I’ll try to answer as briefly as I can.
I go through the world as not your traditional woman (i.e. I am not overly feminine, don’t wear make up, don’t usually wear women’s clothing, don’t conform to many beauty standards, etc.), so it’s interesting to see how that affects people’s behavior toward me. Thankfully, being a woman, I get a lot more leeway socially for not conforming to gender standards than I would if I were a guy. No one seems to think it super weird, they just kind of roll with it and deal with it in their own way.
Guys, I’ve noticed, don’t seem to consciously recognize how different male and female brains are. I have a more male brain, or at least more logical, analytical brain, and I usually find myself taking the ‘guy’ role in relationships. This works for me.. I didn’t like it when I first came out, but I’ve come to embrace and enjoy it. But it’s funny, I’m like any typical guy in a relationship with a woman.. often perplexed by irrational, emotional behavior and unsure what to do about it.
Anyway, with guys, they tend to view me as ‘one of the guys’ because I don’t present a feminine appearance and because I like women. I’m fine with this for the most part, but not 100% comfortable. The main difference is I strongly dislike the pervy vibe so many guys give off when checking out or discussing women. I’m fine with being ‘one of the guys’ until they start getting gross and then I’m completely turned off and have to remove myself from the situation.
My point is, even though I’m ‘guy-like’ in a lot of ways, I am still a woman and I still have a woman’s brain. It’s easier to sort out what parts of me are male than which are female.. it’s easy enough to say I’m reasonable, emotionally stable, and logical.. the female part is more subtle. Most women, I think, can identify when I talk about female relationships, compassion, maternal feelings, having situations bring up strong emotions, etc.. I don’t know why, but it’s harder for me to describe the experience of being a woman. I wouldn’t trade it for anything, though, I love women, I love their brains (as perplexing as they are sometimes), I love the sisterhood, all of that.
My point here is that it’s nearly impossible to escape your brain wiring. Some of my male friends have joked in the past that they are lesbians, too. And I always sigh and say, No, you’re a straight male. Because liking women doesn’t make you a lesbian, being a woman liking women makes you a lesbian.
Now, granted, there is a gradient for just about everything. You’ll find stone butch ladies that are just as manly as your average truck driver. I know one guy who should totally have been born in a woman’s body because I think he is even more of a lesbian than I am. It’s ridiculous! The humorous part is that he keeps falling for lesbians, too.. so he may very well have a lesbian brain. ;)