It could be called, “There’s more to life than lurve.” Augustlan would be this crazy aunt kind of character who would always be telling people what they can and can’t do. She’d always have a cigarette in her mouth and she’d carry around a big sharpie in her sock, and if someone crossed her, she’d take it out and draw an X across their chest.
Coloma would be the resident hippy, and would never be found anywhere but her hot tub. There would be a series of side dramatic lines where a couple of the other characters are always about to find her outside of the tub (we, the audience see it), but whenever they do see her, she’s in the tub. It’s a kind of “how did she do that,” thing. It would be a running gag, and the blog for the show would have people offering endless speculations about how it happens.
Jeruba would be the actual wise person that when some character on the show wanted serious advice, they’d go to her. It would all be serious, except whenever we saw her, she’d be wearing a Kate Blanchette mask. The two who were trying to catch Coloma outside the tub, would also try to pull off Jeruba’s mask, occasionally.
Astrochuck would be the mailman who always shows up just when someone is doing something ridiculous, and he’d make a quip that would break everyone else up.
CyanoticWasp would play the straight man. He’d act as if he didn’t get it when others are making fun of him, but in fact he’d know what is going on, and he’d keep on feeding them lines. When he appeared, he would be in his captain’s hat (Gilligan’s Isle style) and would always just be back from a sail across the bay. We never actually find out which bay it is, but the guys who are after Coloma and Jeruba are also constantly asking CyanoticWasp questions to see if they can get him to divulge the bay he sails in.
There are a set of twenty-somethings (you know who you are) who are always drinking and doing stupid stuff. The thirteen-somethings would constantly be bugging people about dating and sex. They’d come up with a question, and you’d cut to a scene where all the other characters are rolling their eyes. It would be a stock scene to be cut in whenever necessary.
Occasionally there would be a kind of capture the flag style competition. Someone would ask when they could have sex, and the religious folks would get decked out in medieval outfits and they would try to capture the flag of the atheists, who would all be wearing space drama costumes.
There would be other roles for other people, but I’ve gone on long enough. Oh wait. One more. Marinelife would be the judge, who would always have just the right thing to say to deal with the problems presented before her. However, she’d always say it in one sentence, and one sentence only. Once again, our pair of mischief makers would always be trying to get her to say more than one sentence, and of course, failing.
The setting would randomly move from site to site. Country town to mountain town to city by the ocean, etc, etc. It would travel around the world, and the mulligan each week would be for fans to try to guess where the show takes place that week before the name of the place was revealed. It would be a kind of competition thing with people entering their votes via their phones. There would be a clue given out just before each commercial break. Or maybe in the middle of the commercial break (thus forcing people to watch commercials). There would be prizes for people who guessed it the soonest. It would be filmed in such a way that not even the people who lived in the town where the filming occurred would be able to guess right away.
All right. Enough ideas for free. If you want more of the treatment, you gotta give me an advance. ;-)
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