What to do, first time to a strip club?

“what should I expect from dancers etc….”

Reminds me of that song from Lords of Acid – “Crab louse” (I kid)

Do ogle (not creepily). Don’t touch the dancer(s). Tip the bartender and waitresses.

I’ve found the best posture to assume is one of simple appreciation for an attractive body and hopefully some talented dancing. If you enjoy that and let go of the rest, you’ll have a good time. “The rest” would be some of the common pitfalls, such as conjuring up an emotional experience or trying in some way to become attached to the naked chick who is dancing for your money.

You’ll probably have to buy a drink or two, so plan on that (in addition to the cover charge). Sometimes, the chick at the door (who is taking your cover charge) will offer to show her boobs for $10. It’s up to you, but your money will go further inside the club.

So after that, what I usually do is just sit, enjoy my drink and the guys I’m with and watch the parade on the main stage. After all the girls have cycled through, maybe I like one of them, and I’ll get that one to dance for me. I’ll make some small talk and compliment her and then at some point say thanks as a way of indicating I’m done.

As far as don’ts go, don’t touch her unless she says its okay. Sometimes they’ll let you put your hands on your lap. Sometimes they’ll let you put your hands on your lap palms up. Sometimes they’ll let you do more. It kind of depends. But regardless, don’t let the bouncers catch you.

Sometimes you’ll get girls who are too pushy. Be prepared to say “no thanks” if you’re not into them. They’ll move on if you’re direct with them.

Bring whatever you can afford to give away. $40 is a starting point, maybe, but it also depends on the club.

Say you gotta leave early. Tip the workers.

I haven’t been to many strip clubs but if I was going to describe what to expect to someone who has never been, I’d tell them to expect awkwardness and disappointment. The first time I went to one, I was 18 and a state away from home. It was a creepy place and I felt like a 12 year old looking at his first porno. It was much more awkward than fun.

In all my experiences, the girls came up to me and asked me if I wanted dances before I even had the chance to ask them. DON’T BE AFRAID TO SAY NO!!! I was my first time so I ended up spending $80 for a back-to-back awkward lap dance that I really didn’t even want.

Take what you can afford but I’d recommend $100 if your going to be there for a while. Even at the very skanky joints around here a lap dance is going to cost you at least $10 a pop. Then you have to add in the cost of drinks and tips for the girls and the waitstaff. You can go blow through money about as fast and you want to.

Don’t touch the girls or their money.

Nothing, keep your distance and sit and stare in blank amazement!!!!

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Take a stack of $1 and $10 bills.

Don’t touch the dancers. They might touch you. You can put your dollar bills in their g-string or garter at the place they specify.

This is work for the dancers. They are not into you. You are not going home with one afterwards. That sexy look on her face is a mask.

Lap dances are offered frequently. They cost anywhere from $10 – $15 – $20 or so. If your friend buys one for you, you should return the favor, just like buying rounds of drinks.

Drink in moderation. Lead the charge to depart first. You will be glad for the money you saved on shallow unenriching entertainment.

LEAVE YOUR ATM CARD AT HOME.

Lord, those ATMs at the strip club are DANGEROUS. :-)

You usually have to be over 21 to go to a strip club. Your best strategy would be to leave your credit cards at home, and by all means, don’t run a tab! Say no to all the girls because you are nothing but a mark as soon as you walk into the door. I suggest that you go once to take the mystery out of it. After that, you can have a lot more fun with a willing girl friend than you could ever have in a strip club. If you feel that you need to pay for sex, find a friendly hooker. It will cost you but still be cheaper and less frustrating than going to a strip club.