This is, I believe, one of those “who am I” questions that attacks us all at different times of life. My kids were just asking me this a few months ago.
“Why am I me? I could have been so-and-so.”
Well, no, @BoBo1946, you couldn’t. People’s personalities are not interchangeable and they are not random. You are you because of a long series of experiences that made you into you. You could never have been born anywhere else, and you could never have had experiences other than the ones you had. And since those experiences are unique and could not possibly ever be duplicated, you are you, and only you are you.
We become ourselves gradually, and we are continually becoming ourselves. From the time a sperm from your biological father enters an egg from your biological mother, your personality is in development, and it will continuously be in development at least until you die. There could be no other sperm or egg that came together. It can only be the ones that did come together to form the embryo that would one day become you, @BoBo1946.
From that instant, experiences happen. Maybe you mother drinks a lot some night. Maybe she only eats lettuce. Maybe she lives next to a nuclear power plant. Maybe she gardens all the time. Whatever—that is the start. Then you are born, and you start learning stuff. Maybe your mother breast feeds or bottle feeds. Oh God, @BoBo1946, one could go on and on about every specific event of your life that went into you becoming the person you are now.
It could never have happened to someone else. You could never have been born in Thailand. You could not have be a dog or a mayfly. You could not have been Ronald Reagan, the cowboy president, or Jack the shoeshine man, who secretly masturbates on peoples shoes while he shines them.
But none of that is really the point. What you are asking is why are you really you? Who are you really? It seems so random, and in many ways it is random. Yet that is what makes you. Your personality isn’t decanted from some drug store when you are born. You, @BoBo1946, are not like anyone else (for which some are surely grateful, and others are saddened).
So my advice is that you try to accept this. You are you and will remain so even if you get amnesia or have a brain operation. It’s not magic, really. It is awesome to be alive, but it is not magic. I think you should be grateful that you are who you are. You may be a thorn…. naw. That’s not even true. It’s delightful to have you here, with your gentle humor and innocent demeanor. I think we all should be grateful that you are who you are… and that everyone else is who they are.